As it turned out, a few hours of constant nagging from two independent sources was comparable to about seven years of regular travel. The voice — after running out of synonyms for ‘Tell me what your name is’ — had resorted to repeating ‘How about now?’ once or twice every five seconds, and Ysana, intrigued by the new face, seemed bound and determined to extract Dyasen’s entire life story by the end of the ride.

“Do you have a partner?”

“No,” Dyasen answered through his teeth.

“Oh, well, is there anyone-”

“I’m asexual. And aromantic.”

“How about now?”

“Ah. Well, do you have any close friends?”

“No.”

Ysana’s brow furrowed. “Surely there are people you hang out with.”

“How about now?”

“There are. But they’re people I work with, not ‘close friends’.”

She blinked. “Oh,” she said, probably hearing the irritation in his voice and mistaking it for remnants of a tragic backstory. “Well, what are the people you work with like?”

“Very interesting,” Dyasen said flatly.

“How… about now?”

“In what way?” Ysana pressed.

Dyasen let out a long and exhausted sigh. Oh, just your regular folks. Regular folks who work together better than this cart's wheels work with their axles, with some of the most powerful and useful ERAs I’ve ever seen, and who happen to work for- He realized what he was doing at the last second and cut the thought off by imagining a loud bleeping noise.

“... what?”

“I seem to attract people with peculiar personalities,” Dyasen said out loud. “In that we work well together. Not attraction attraction, obviously.”

“... never mind. How about now?”

Ysana glanced at him as if waiting for clarification.

“One has never said the word ‘um’ in her life, one is the most terrifyingly cheerful person you’ll ever meet, one manages to be ‘friends’ with at least half of CaSaryn’s high-ranking nobility-”

“How about now?”

“-and somehow still has free time… and one doesn’t lose.”

Ysana blinked. “What does ‘doesn’t lose’ mean? What don’t they lose?”

Dyasen gave her an even look. “Fights. Or arguments.” He paused. “Or probably possessions, as far as I’ve seen.”

“How about… now?”

“Well, sounds like an interesting lot.”

“That is indeed what I said.”

She gave him a disapproving look, as if scolding him for stepping out of line. Who do you think I am, your child?

“...what!?”

Glancing around, Dyasen saw that there were finally some patches of oak trees breaking up the neverending grass. “Can we stop for a moment?” he asked.

“Ignoring what you just thought… how about now?”

“Of course, why?” Ysana asked, pulling the reins and slowing the cart to a halt.

“Be right back.” Dyasen took a flying leap out of the seat and near-sprinted away toward a group of trees. As soon as he was out of Ysana’s sight behind a large rock, he drew his sword from his back, took a few test swipes, and then swung it into a tree with a thwack. Grunting in satisfaction, he pulled it out and swung again, this time for a low branch.

“How about now?”

“Alright, fine!!” he exploded, yelling the words in his head as loudly as he could. “My name is-” As he swung the sword around, its tip chipped part of the rock he was standing behind with a loud clank. “Clank.” He thought it quickly, not taking the time to think of something better for fear that they would suspect him of lying.

The voice snickered. “And you said I’m bad at making up names on the spot.”

Dyasen stopped chopping up the flora, taking a deep breath. “It wasn’t on the spot. It’s not my fault my teammates can’t come up with better nicknames.”

“But what’s your real name?” they pressed.

“You tell me first,” he insisted.

“Alright, fine. My name is Pepperjack.” They sounded proud of it.

Dyasen snorted aloud. Then, to make a point, he recalled the sound as well as he could and repeated it in his head.

“Hey! It’s not any worse than ‘Clank’!”

“You’re telling me you’re actually named after a type of cheese?”

A loud huff sounded through his head, causing him to chuckle. Again, he translated the sound mentally, figuring it was best to give his honest reaction.

“Alright, well, Clank, have you made it to where you’re going?” Pepperjack asked.

“Aw, you do care.”

“I never said I didn’t.”

“And yet you made it your sole duty to drive me completely insane. And no, I’m still traveling, I just took a break to shut you up,” he added before they could respond to the last comment. He didn’t think he could take an ‘I told you so’ right now.

“So… do you have more time to talk?”

They sounded so hopeful that Dyasen almost felt bad for declining. “NO!! Please, for the sake of all that the world holds dear, don’t talk to me any more right now.” He sucked in a breath, even though he hadn’t actually been using air to speak. “Look, you were right. I don’t have as much patience as you do. And someone over here is bugging me constantly as well. It’s like trying to talk to two people at once, except they don’t know when the other is talking — or even that the other is talking — so they just keep doing it at the same time.”

“...... oh. Sorry.”

“It’s alright. I’ll let you know when I’m free again. Promise.”

“Okay! Thanks, Clank.”

He actively cringed at that. Is this what I’ve signed myself up for?

“You’re the one who gave me your nickname instead of your real one.”

“True, that. Talk to you later, Pepperjack.”

Dyasen took a long, deep breath, closing his eyes and welcoming the moment of silence. “Better move before Ysana starts screeching,” he told himself, opening his eyes. He picked his sword up, scanned it for any damage the rock may have caused, and slid it back into its harness. Then he summoned his resolve and started back toward the cart.

“Have you taken care of business?” Ysana asked when he got back.

Oh, good world. “Yes. We can start again.”

Ysana nodded, and ~presumably~ gave the horse an energetic nudge with her ERA. As the cart started moving, she turned to Dyasen again.

Nononononono. I am so uninteresting that it would drive anyone insane just to listen to me talk. There is so little about me of any importance that it effectively equates to zero. If you were to look at me and become curious for any reason, you would be completely mad.

“We should be there in another hour or so,” Ysana informed him, then turned back to watch the road.