So Asher and Paige were dating behind my back, huh? I was beside my self. My body was shaking and I didn't know what to do yet. I wanted an explanation and I wanted nothing to do with them anymore. I felt like I was going to vomit, my heart beating out of my chest as the adrenaline took control over me. How could they betray me like this?

Paige used to assure me that she loved me like her own family. Asher was much less committed to our friendship, but I thought he at least took value in his relationship with my brother. Honestly, Taz is probably reveling in his success on everything going sour now. Paige and I have been so close for all of these years, though, I guess that meant nothing to her in the way of who she wanted to be with. Why did I even bother making the effort for either of them?

I could feel my demons, my darkness taking over my soul. My eyes developed a grey cast over everything I looked upon. My mind scattered like shattered glass spraying across a room. One thing I knew for sure was that I needed to see it for myself. The confusion was ripping at my heart and I didn't want to believe it, but the more sensible part of me knew it was true.

Paige had just gifted me a set of artsy dishes as a housewarming gift with Asher. A housewarming gift with the man she's sleeping with behind my back....The audacity! Fuck those dishes, Fuck their sentiment, and most of all, fuck me for being foolish enough to accept such a gift without seeing the truth. How could I be so stupid?! I wrapped the dishes up in grocery bags, put on my coat and hat, and started out the door to confront Paige. I had no vehicle, so I walked. Each step lead me into a different memory.

I reviewed everything I'd experienced since I started dating Asher and as I thought more about it, the clearer everything became. The plans that had been cancelled, the text messages that went unread, the arguments and his ignorance towards me. All of the times that Paige had remained silent when I told her where I was going....How could I have not seen this? I've been naïve. The walk to her house felt like it took years in comparison to the actual distance. None the less, at least I had a good 30 minutes to think everything over before I reached her driveway. However, as I stood staring at her house, I felt rage completely filling my body making it tremble as I made my way down her driveway up to the backdoor.

I couldn't get a grip on my emotions. They were darting all over my mind and soul like someone had shot a bullet and it was ricocheting from everything in sight. I walked inside and removed my shoes in the mudroom before I opened the door to the kitchen. There I saw Asher sitting scrolling through his phone, trying to ignore me as if he knew I was on my way. Paige guided me into the bathroom where I questioned her. I'm sure Asher could hear everything I said. Paige's responses were curt and cold. I knew she didn't want me there as badly as I didn't want to be there.

This conversation was going no where. The only thing she cared to explain was how she was with Asher the entire time that I was and much longer, even. She told me that they had never broken up and how I was in the wrong for going after him. I wanted to wrap my hands around her throat and watch the life leave her eyes. I walked away, through the kitchen where Asher remained silent only glancing up to see which person it was. That coward! I stepped out of the house after sliding my shoes on and made my way home.

My emotions had taken over everything, running amok with every single thought that popped into my head. I lost my best friend and the one I loved. I lost the one I loved to my best friend. I was alone now and that feeling sunk to my very core. I mean, I always had this empty feeling like no one could understand me or even so much as wanted to try, but now it was crystal clear and burning me like I was splashed head to toe with gasoline and lit on fire. My malice towards my life was overflowing and the walk home helped nothing. I just felt even more alone. I considered walking out in front of traffic, but my senses came back to me and I kept stepping.

I did decided to end the part of my life that I tried to desperately cling to over the years. I was certain that neither of them needed or even wanted me around, as bitter as that feeling was. There was not so much as a sliver of myself that cared to have any sort of relationship with either Paige or Asher. They made sure to stomp out anything resembling a relationship before I walked out of that house. It was just me now....I guess I'll move onto people who don't care enough to destroy me the way they have.