The sun wouldn’t dare to cross the hills for a few more hours. But Augustin and Edgar were wide awake. Or a little less. Because Edgar didn’t sleep last night. He was far too busy thinking about what his prince wanted to tell him.
Augustin had brought Edgar in early. Then they walked through the long corridors of the palace until they finally reached their destination: the throne room. Because it had two side wings with large doors it offered the direct path to the rose garden and the pasture behind it for the horses. It was not common in the other parts of the land to keep the horses on pastures. But King Konstantin thought it was better for the animals. Thus, it was a law to keep horses on pastures.
When the horses were saddled and ready to leave, the two rode away. Edgar knew intuitively where Augustin would lead him. The cliffs of Nefarious. They were not far from the palace and offered a quiet place to relax or, in their case, to talk.
It was a habit of the two of them to start a kind of race from the first big oak to the thorn bush just in front of the cliffs. When the oak was in sight, Edgar was already impatiently pulling his reins. He would win this time, that was for sure. Augustin laughed, but also tugged his reins a little. 3,2,1 and the fun started. As if driven by the devil, the two Geldings galloped over the hilly plain. The wind rustled in their ears, making them deaf to the world around them. Because only one thing mattered now, win at any cost. Edgar got tense; he was still first. But now a tricky spot came along. It went steeply uphill; roots were sticking out and the ground was softened by the morning dew. With a heavy heart, the young Earl slowed down. The path ahead seemed far too dangerous. Augustin, on the other hand, had none of these feelings and rushed past Edgar. He would win the race, like he always did.
When Augustin reached the stony ground of the cliff, he too slowed his pace. Seconds later, a wildly breathing and angry Edgar also reached the cliff.
“You're out of your mind! Your poor horse!” the older one yelled at the Prince. Who, on the other hand, looked serene in the saddle and let his horse gallop elegantly in an eight.
“Crazy? No. Ambitious? Yes, a bit. . . sometimes. Don't you think so?” Augustin smiled teasingly at Edgar, swung out of his saddle, and tied his horse to the nearest tree. With a contemptuous snort, Edgar did likewise.
“Are you coming?” The prince asked in a more measured tone.
“Do I get a consolation prize then too?”. Edgar tried to formulate his words in a cute kind of manner. Then grabbed Augustin's hand and swung their now linked hands back and forth. Augustin shook his head with a laugh and pulled the older one with him to the edge of the cliff. Fingers entwined, they sat close together, legs dangling over the edge of the cliff.
“And? What is it now?” You could only have sensed the slight shaking in Edgar’s voice. In his body, however, there was a full-on war. The fact that he had to wait so long did not please him at all, but it was his Prince, and he could not refuse this young blond-haired boy. Unrestrainedly, Edgar tried to get himself into a comfortable sitting position with back-and-forth movements. Augustine’s gaze was still on the troubled sea before them. The young Prince sank for a short time in the erupting memories of the past. After he swore his love to Edgar, they rode here. It was the only place the guards wouldn’t follow them. The exact reason was unknown to Augustine, but he didn’t care either. Because he had Edgar all to himself, here where nobody else is. They loved each other all day. Edgar had to show him so much that it was more than embarrassing, but at the same time it was also surprising that the young Earl knew that kind of act so well. His answer at the time was simple:
“I like to read, Darling.” Augustin already thought that one learns something like this through books. The Prince laughed briefly and received an angry, but also anxious look from his lover sitting next to him.
“Now could you tell me what's going on!” Edgar almost yelled, which completely jolted Augustin out of his memories. Back in the here and now, the prince felt the heavy burden resting on him. Breathing heavily, he put his hand on Edgar's thigh.
“Do you trust me?”, Augustin's voice was soft, something that happened very rarely.
“That depends on what you're up to. If you want the maid again? No!” Edgar's voice seemed strong, but inside it was failing. He wanted the Prince to stop playing. It was enough for him. He’s been used for years now. He felt like doll for the prince to play with. And that was Edgar for sure not, and never will be.
Augustin shook his head. “No, I want you to go.” Now there was a slight fear in Augustin's voice. Edgar perceived it, but at the same time did not.
“Where do you want me to go?” the young Earl joked. It was too painful to think that Augustin meant something else with his words.
“Home, Edgar. I don't want you here anymore.” Augustin's entire body spoke a different language than his words. He shivered, trying to suppress the tears that were welling up.
“Please Edgar!” It was no more than a breath that escaped Augustin's throat. Slowly, he let his hand slide from Edgar's thigh. Rising to his feet, he headed in the direction of his horse.
“Augustin?” The young Earl desperately tried to cling to the prince, but he skilfully broke free of his grip.
“Why? Tell me why!” The young Earl cried out loud. A tone that let something die inside of Augustin. Edgar has never spoken to him like that before. But the older one didn’t care at that moment what tone he used to address the Prince. They both paused for a moment. Their eyes met. They spoke the words that none of them were able to say.
“If you really love me, you’ll forgive me for any escapades. Like with the maid or the stableman. So forgive me this one too.” Augustin spoke with a very political voice. He had to stay strong. For Edgar’s sake, to make it as easy for both as them as possible. Even if it wasn’t easy for both of them.
The Prince got on his horse, took the reins in his hands. He spoke his final words.
“Wait for me, I have a plan.” Before Edgar could even understand these words, Augustin was already over the mountains and left behind a crushed young Earl.
Edgar felt dizzy. The world turned cold, a shrill sound overshadowing everything. It couldn't be true. Had the Prince just left him? His Prince, his little Augustin was gone. After Edgar pulled himself out of his shock. He went over to his steed and swung himself into the saddle just as Augustin had done before. Only for him, everything was in slow motion. He tried to review the conversation. But this only made the tears run faster down his cheeks. He would not ride back to the palace. No, for him it now goes home as Augustin had asked. Besides, it would be embarrassing enough to return to the palace now, weeping, weak as well as alone, just to get his clothes. The prince had best to just burn them. Just like he did with Edgar's heart.
The young Earl hoped to get some advice from his mother at home. She knew Augustin almost as well as he knew himself.
But at the same time, he realized that Augustin had now completely slipped away from him. And that for ever. With a painful heart, he finally set off. “Mother. Father. Ethereal, I’m coming.”
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