On the rare occasion Trish and Ruiz left their rooms, they were most likely to be found in the kitchen. The spaciousness of it was a welcome change from the kitchenette they themselves possessed, but they both admitted they’d never be able to deal with the amount of tablespace that Elliot puts up with. Too much surface, too many opportunities to cover it with equipment.

Meals were the only times they felt remotely sociable. Since the dining hall was relatively closed off with but one window, Ruiz didn’t feel like he was suffering the great outdoors quite as much as he did in the open hallways. Recluse though he was, he was easily lured outside with the promise of a vegetarian breakfast (and protection from a certain redhead).

Making their way to the long, wooden table, Ruiz rubbed his hands together with quiet glee as he came upon the promised vegetarian hash. Still hot and sizzling in the large, cast-iron skillet, the iguana dug in and took generous helpings of bountifully seasoned zucchini, squash, and potatoes. Meanwhile, Trish partook the more traditional bacon and eggs. As they sat at the as-of-yet unpopulated table, Trish asked, “Who’s going back home today?”

“Who went last time?” Ruiz asked. Even speaking, he didn’t lose momentum shoving hash into his mouth.

“I did.” The volume at their shop back home had decreased significantly, but there was always a chance someone might come in requesting repairs on their cameras or screens. Most of their customers had laptops they could easily update and maintain from within the manor. Being a presence in their world just didn’t seem worth it most days, but they made the effort anyway.

“Mm.” He tapped his spoon once against his full plate. “I should go.”

Trish inhaled her first forkful of eggs. “I was actually hoping to go. Needed to go pick up my jabs anyway.”

“I can get them for you.” His plate was a third of the way empty as he shoveled more into his face.

“They already think we’re dating, do you really wanna fuel that?”

“Gross. No one would date you.”

Trish dropped her fork on the plate and glowered at him. “I can’t believe anyone ever had a kid with you, you nasty-”

“Save the quarrel for later, my dear ones,” Elliot pleaded as he brought in another plateful of food. “I don’t wanna clean up another of your messes.”

“You say that like we do it all the time,” Trish declared. The way Elliot tilted his head and eyed her as he left them to their own devices said enough. Trish returned to scolding Ruiz, “You didn’t scrub enough in your shower last night.”

“I don’t tell you how to bathe,” Ruiz uttered, now halfway through his plate. “And you’re the one who stinks.”

Trish’s fur bristled from her head to the tip of her tail, a threatening noise spilling from her throat with the words, “I don’t stink! It’s my musk!”

“Well, these are my scales. Let me wear them if I want.”

“They’re stuck shed.” Pushing a whole stick of bacon into her mouth, she reached out and plucked a piece of said shed from his shoulder. Ruiz actually stopped his ceaseless shoveling to glare at her mid-chew. She held up the piece of skin, gesturing to the now clear patch of gray where it had once been. “See?”

“That was very uncomfortable,” he said.

“Your lack of hygiene is very uncomfortable.”

“How would you feel if I just pulled your tail out of the blue? Gave your spine a little pop?”

“That’s not even comparable and you know it.”

“You know what?” He dipped his spoon into her eggs. Before she could protest, the yellow blobs had disappeared behind his razer teeth.

“You asshole,” she snapped, grabbing a potato from his skillet.

“Wha-?” he glanced between her fork and his plate. “You can’t eat that!”

“I know!” So she loaded her fork and launched the potato at his head.

It struck Ruiz in his blessedly closed eye just in time for Elliot to round the corner. “Now what did I tell you children?”