Overnight, a deep freeze settles quietly over Ketterbridge. I wake up to find my window panes frosted, heavy layers of snow on every sill.

It sticks, and more snow tumbles down all day. By the time night falls, the entire town has taken on a muffled quality, and even the lesser snowbanks are knee-high. I end up pulling out my snow boots to walk to Raj, Noah, and Mel’s house.

But now I’m nice and cozy. Noah lit the fireplace when I got here, and the flames are leaping and sparking, the embers smoldering. It casts a warm glow over the living room, dry heat reaching us where we sit together on the couch.

“Okay, what are we thinking?” I flip between the options, my eyes on the TV. “I can do a gut shot, throw a grenade, or try to take a sniper shot, but the odds are bad.”

“Sniper shot,” Noah says, right away.

“I only have a twenty-five percent chance of making that shot, man.”

“Sniper shot,” Noah says again, louder. “Sniper shot, sniper shot, sn-”

“I’m telling you, there’s no way-”

I gasp as Noah leans over and presses the button for me. On the screen, my character takes aim with the sniper rifle, fires, and misses by a mile. The game switches to the enemy turn. The enemy I failed to kill takes a shot at me. It hits, and tiny words pop up over my character's head:

Critical Hit! Bleeding - Kneecapped - Knocked Back (3 turn duration)

I turn slowly to stare at Noah and find him suppressing a laugh.

“I’m gonna throw this controller at your fucking head, dude!”

“Well, I’ve seen your aim, so. Feel like I’ll be fine.”

“Oh, my god.” I take a swipe at Noah, who dodges just in time, snickering. “Oh, you dumb bastard-”

“Relax, bro, relax!” he says, flapping a hand at me. “It’s my turn next, I’ll just do an execution on that guy. I've got a Skull Blast.”

“No, dude, if you do a public execution-”

Already, it’s far too late. On the TV, Noah’s character executes the enemy, and words instantly pop up in response:

Law enforcement has put a bounty on your head! Enemy Aggression Increased! (20 turn duration)

“Noah!” I slump down on the couch, slapping a hand to my forehead. “Oh, I hate you.”

He laughs again, and despite my best efforts, my scowl falls away. I laugh, too, then drop my controller with a deep groan.

The favor Raj asked of me has two parts. This part, the first part, is easy.

All I have to do is keep Noah at the house until Raj and Mel get back. They want time to plan what to say before they talk to Noah, and they also have to drop Nikita at Cassie’s house. They’ve been gone for a few hours now, but I don’t mind. I’m having a good time hanging out with Noah. It hardly feels like doing anyone a favor.

It’s the second part that I’m nervous about. Raj’s words are playing on repeat in my mind.

“I don’t want Noah to panic and take off before we can finish explaining everything. He can leave after, if he wants, obviously. But I need him to know the full story. Since you already know about all this, Mel and I thought - could you be there, Jamie? We want to talk to him alone, but can you just hang out downstairs? That way, if he tries to leave, we’ve got one more person to help us convince him to stay.”

I can’t believe that I’m going to be sitting down here while this conversation happens. Anxiety has been fluttering at the base of my stomach all day.

But this needs to happen. Before Raj and Mel took off, I could sense the tension in their every interaction with Noah. There’s no such thing as a meaningless look in this house right now. The dream that’s grown between the three of them resonates in every small gesture, every word - and they all have to pretend not to notice it.

The fragile, illusory calm is about to be struck with a seismographic shock, broken into a thousand pieces.

Knowing that it’s coming is… a lot. It’s hard for me to keep down my nerves.

Underneath my worry is warm, humming excitement. If this goes well, I’ll be so happy for all of them, but especially for Noah. He’s in such a difficult place right now, the space in between. He’s deeply interwoven with Raj and Mel, knows both of them on such an intimate level, with such substance and depth. He loves them. They’re indispensable to him. I can see so clearly that all he wants to do is take them into his heart.

But he’s still on the outside. It’s all right in front of him, yet he can’t reach out and touch it. Mel and Raj have each other, but in some ways, Noah stands alone.

I want to see him as happy as I am with Aiden. I’m hoping that after tonight, I will.

“You wanna smoke?” Noah sets down his controller and laces his fingers together, cracks all of them at once. “I can roll us something.”

Oh, god. Noah absolutely can’t be high tonight. Not for this conversation, no way.

“Nah,” I say hastily. “Shouldn’t have split that cig with you earlier. I’m gonna need my inhaler if we smoke anything else.”

“Baby lungs,” Noah answers, and I stick my tongue out at him. “Alright, suit yourself. I’m gonna smoke a bowl, though. No baby in the house tonight, gotta take advantage.”

Shit.

I watch with growing panic as Noah starts packing the piece. It’s not like one bowl is going to fuck him up too badly, but still, I feel like I shouldn’t let him do it.

I reach over and snatch the piece from his fingers. Understandably startled, Noah raises a questioning eyebrow, and I scramble for an explanation.

“Changed my mind,” is what I come out with.

“Jesus, where’s your bowl etiquette, dude?” Noah laughs, tossing me the lighter. I catch it quickly, my cheeks burning. “If you want green, just say so.”

“Why don’t you focus on prepping for the next battle, hmm? Now that there’s a bounty on us and enemies are going to attack every ten seconds?”

Still chuckling, Noah turns back to the TV and scoops up his controller.

I pretend to pack the bowl better, patting down the top with my fingertip, stalling. Noah starts messing with his equipped armor, and I use his distraction to steal a glance at him. I’m trying to get a sense of his frame of mind.

He seems… alright. Maybe a little tense. I can see it in the set of his jaw, the agitated way he keeps sweeping his long hair out of his face. I suspect that he’s been up late thinking about everything.

Aiden and I helped Noah form a handle on his feelings, but I know that there are insecurities and doubts holding him back, simmering just below the surface. After all, he hasn’t said anything about trying to talk to Raj and Mel.

But he’s also home, which lends a sense of security that seems to anchor him. And we’re doing something normal, something we do all the time. That seems to help, too. I’d say that Noah is probably as relaxed as he can be, given the circumstances. That’s the most I can hope for.

“How do you even start a conversation like that?” I’d asked Raj last night. “What are you going to say?”

“I’m going to tell him that Mel and I have been thinking a lot about our definition of family,” Raj had answered. “And that we’ve landed on a definition we both like, that we want to run by him.”

I have no idea when Raj and Mel are going to get home, but I know that they plan to go right into it when they get here. My eyes keep darting covertly to the door.

“Hey, man,” Noah says, pulling me out of my thoughts. He glances over at me, fidgeting with his lip piercing. “I’ve, um. Been thinking a lot about what you and Aiden said.”

I sit up and turn to face him, my pulse picking up. “Okay?”

“And,” Noah continues, avoiding my eyes, “I think - I think it’s time for me to-”

He breaks off sharply as the door opens.

Raj steps inside on a gust of frosty wind, a few snowflakes caught in his dark curls. Melanie follows right after him, tucking a stray strand from her braid behind her ear.

Both of them are pink-cheeked from the cold. They stop right in the entryway, their eyes landing on me and Noah.

“Yo!” Noah calls, tossing his controller aside. “What’s the word?”

“Nik’s been handed off,” Raj answers, pulling off his boots. “Mel’s mom has her book club meeting tonight, so Nik is going to be spoiled with attention. Actually, she was already spoiled with attention, by the time we left.”

“Seriously.” Melanie hangs up her coat, then checks her bright red lipstick in the mirror by the door. “You should have seen it, Noah. All these ladies simultaneously cooing over a baby and debating the finer points of Dostoevsky.”

“Sounds like a scene,” Noah laughs. “You guys do know that I could’ve watched Nik tonight, if you wanted some alone time? Why’d you ask Cassie?”

There’s a beat of uncertain silence. Raj and Melanie move like they’re going to exchange a glance, then both stop.

They’re trying to keep it together, but they’re both nervous wrecks, and not doing the best job of hiding it.

Noah doesn’t miss it. A concerned, confused expression crosses his face.

“Everything okay?” he asks.

“Yeah, um - everything’s okay.” Raj comes over and stops before Noah, kneading his palm. “Do you have a minute, actually? Mind if I borrow him, Jamie?”

Oh, my god. It’s happening. It’s happening right now. I guess they can't stand to wait another minute.

“No, of course not,” I say, my heartbeat pounding in my ears. “Take your time.”

Noah looks at Raj searchingly, then shrugs. He pops up off the couch, zipping up his thin black hoodie.

His back is turned to Melanie, so he doesn’t notice how pale she is. Twisting her fingers together, swaying on her feet. I catch her eye, and mouth: take a breath.

She nods at me, closes her eyes for a second. Silently, without looking back, she follows after Raj and Noah.

All three of them disappear upstairs.

~~~~

The second they’re gone, I let out a long, held breath.

This is going to be the hardest part. I’ll wait for however long it takes, but no one said that I had to be calm about it. Which is good, because I definitely can’t.

For a few minutes, I walk in aimless circles around the living room. I can’t hear anything from upstairs, so I have no indication of how it’s going. This conversation could take twenty minutes, or it could take hours. I have no idea what to expect, or what to do with myself.

It’s freezing outside, but I’m suddenly in desperate need of fresh air. I grab my coat and boots from the entryway, carry them to the back door. I pull everything on and step out into the backyard.

It looks less like a rainforest, now that there’s a heavy blanket of snow and pine needles. But it’s still beautiful, if I do say so myself. Winter blossoms glazed with thin coats of ice glisten in the moonlight, and the wind pushes loose snow from overburdened branches, creating showers of soft white mist. It’s a cloudless night, and I stop for a minute, gazing up at the exposed constellations.

I weave through the plants, checking up on them as best I can beneath the snow. My breath frosts on the air, trails in my wake. The muffled crunch of my footsteps is the only sound in the deep winter hush.

A golden glow catches my eye. I pause, leaning a hand on the nearest tree, and look up.

There’s only one room upstairs with a light switched on: Raj and Melanie’s bedroom.

Through the window, I can see Noah, and Raj.

Noah is standing rigid and silent, ashen-faced with shock. Raj has one hand on Noah’s shoulder, and he’s speaking earnestly, looking right into his grey eyes.

Raj comes to the end of whatever he’s saying, and falls silent. Noah slowly lifts a hand, runs it over his mouth. Even from here, I see his fingers shaking.

Melanie appears beside Raj. She steps up close to Noah, and rests her palm on his chest as she speaks. His eyes blink down to her hand, then flit back to her face.

He listens to her in blank silence, then sharply lifts his gaze to Raj, panic spreading across his face. He interrupts Melanie and starts to back up, pushing her hand away.

Raj quickly jumps in again, speaking very fast, one hand reaching out to Noah. Noah stops, his face even paler than it was before.

Raj finishes speaking, and Noah is motionless for a long moment, dumbfounded. I've never seen him look so stunned.

Slowly, he sinks down to sit on the bed, and I lose sight of him.

Realizing suddenly what I’m doing, I turn on my heel and head straight for the door. I go back inside, take off my jacket and shoes again.

All I can do is wait, and time crawls by.

I do everything I can think of to take my mind off of things. I smoke the bowl that Noah left behind. I turn the Xbox back on. I play Hollow Knight for a while, my leg bouncing anxiously the whole time. After dying for the millionth time on the Path of Pain, I get up and walk around again. I text Aiden, respond to Devin’s latest email. I flip through channels until I find one playing classic horror movies, and watch a bit of the 1976 edition of The Omen.

At every unexpected noise, I jump and twist around, expecting to see Noah racing down the stairs.

It gets late, really late. A full day and night of being on edge is starting to wear me down. Truth be told, I’m exhausted. I stretch out on the couch, to rest my eyes for a moment.

I don’t even remember falling asleep.

At some point, I’m vaguely aware that I hear footsteps moving past me. But I couldn’t say with certainty if they were real, or if I dreamt them.

~~~~

When I open my eyes again, sunlight is streaming through every window, reflecting off of the snow. It takes me a few seconds to place myself, to remember what I’m doing here.

To realize that I fell asleep on the job.

My chest constricts. I gasp and lurch upright, suddenly wide awake. Did I dream those footsteps? Or - was that….?

“Oh, my fucking god,” I whisper, horrified. “Oh, no!”

I scramble to my feet and sprint for the stairs. If Noah slipped past me last night… oh, god, I can’t even think about it. What am I going to say to Raj and Mel?

I go directly to Noah’s room. The door is open, and I can see his bed from the hallway.

My heart plummets.

He’s not there.

I twist in the doorway and rush for Raj and Mel's bedroom. Their door is open, too, and I jolt to a stop just inside.

“What-?” I whisper to myself, baffled.

I can see Raj in the bed, asleep on top of the covers. He’s still in his jeans, his sweater - even his socks. He’s turned away from me, but he seems relaxed, breathing deeply and slowly.

I stare at him, struggling to understand.

What the hell is going on? If Noah left, why isn’t Raj awake, looking for him? Why didn’t he wake me up, for that matter?

I step further into the room, get a better view of the bed, and freeze.

From my previous vantage point, I couldn’t see the full picture.

Raj and Melanie are both turned inward, cuddled up, fast asleep. And...

There, between them, is Noah.

He’s awake, a radiant smile sharpening the dimples at the corners of his mouth. His tattooed fingers are wrapped around Melanie’s braid, and she’s holding a handful of his hoodie.

His magnesium eyes are resting on Raj’s sleeping face.

He’s so absorbed in the two of them that he hasn’t noticed me.

Silently, I back away from the bedroom, out into the hallway. For a moment, I just stand there, my hand pressed to my chest.

Then I go back downstairs and leave them be, wearing a smile almost as big as Noah’s.