Maybe I said something wrong?

We were sitting in biology class, and Max was right next to me, but he wasn’t talking to me. He wasn’t even looking at me.

Maybe he didn’t like it when I put my hand on his knee? Was it too intimate? Now that I thought about it, it definitely was too intimate. I was sure friends didn’t do that. Why did I do that? Now I screwed up everything. Max must have been disgusted.

But wait... He put his hand on mine, didn’t he? He was almost holding my hand, so it couldn’t be it. Maybe it was normal for friends to hold hands? I didn’t know, these people around me were so much different from the kids in my old school. Maybe it was normal around here?

But why wasn’t he talking to me?

I stole a glimpse of him, but he was just paying attention to our teacher. Like I didn’t even exist.

Maybe it was just normal to ignore your friends sometimes. Maybe I was overreacting. He was just trying to focus on the class. But he was talking with Troy, but not with me. Well, Troy was his best friend. I was just a new kid who tagged along. Maybe I was just getting ahead of myself, thinking that now that we were friends, Max would give all his attention to me.

How stupid of me. I wasn’t that important to him.

I couldn’t help myself. I wished I was important to him. His big hand had felt warm and soothing when he held it on mine. I was staring at his hand while he was taking notes. He had nice hands with long fingers, and his skin looked soft and perfect. My hands were rugged and blistered, and there was dirt under my fingernails.

I forgot to pay attention to the class. I snapped out of my daydreams when Troy turned around and slammed his notebook right in front of me.

“So – what do you think?” he asked loudly, and I was sure the teacher would scold him for interrupting him.

“I don’t know...” Max sighed and put his books in his bag.

I looked around with a frown. The class had ended already! We just got in! How was it possible? I looked down at my notebook. It was empty! Max had been writing something the entire time, and I hadn’t written a single word!

“Sky? Are you all right?” Troy asked, and Max immediately turned to look in my direction.

“I’m... I’m fine,” I muttered and closed the notebook.

I wasn’t exactly a straight-A student as it was, and if I started missing my classes and not pay attention, my grades would keep on falling.

I gathered my stuff, making sure I wouldn’t forget anything when I stood up. I pressed my new backpack against my chest as I followed Max and Troy out of the room.

It was a little scary for me to step out into the corridor. Other kids were staring at me, and it felt really uncomfortable. If I had known they would stare at me, I wouldn’t have changed my appearances. I knew it was the reason they looked at me. I was sure they were mocking me for trying to be like them. Everyone knew I was just a weird geek, and they all could see right through my stupid attempt to blend in.

I saw restrooms right in front of us. I needed a little break from everything, so I stopped by the door of the boys’ restroom.

“I need to use the toilet,” I muttered and stepped in without looking at Max anymore.

I hid inside the farmost stall and locked the door before climbing to sit on the backrest of the toilet seat. I was still hugging my bag against my chest, and I buried my face in it.

The day had started out as amazing and fun. Max liked my new hairstyle and clothes, but I guess he was just being nice to me. Maybe he thought I was being ridiculous, and that I looked stupid in the clothes, that I shouldn’t even be wearing. I wasn’t cool enough to wear them.

“I’m so stupid...” I sniffed.

All I wanted was to have friends, and Max and Troy were being nice to me. I should’ve been happy and enjoy it, but I couldn’t help but think they would get annoyed with me. They most likely would, once they’d see how pathetic I was.

They were kind enough to ask me to go play video games with them, but I knew nothing about video games. I would be really bad at it and they would laugh and tell me not to bother them ever again.

I started to feel dizzy and claustrophobic. I was in no condition to go in the next class, so I stood up, exited the restrooms and walked towards the back entrance of the school. No one would notice me if I used the backdoor.

I wanted to go home, not to my actual home, but to the nearest forest. There, I was more at home than in our new house. No one stopped me when I walked out through the gates and started walking towards the closest patch of woods at the other side of the road.

I passed the first row of trees and walked through the thick bushes, trying to get away from the traffic, and from joggers with their music players, and from the teens with their phones and the businessmen with their laptops. All that electricity was suffocating me, and I just wanted to get away from it. I dropped my bag on the ground when I started running deeper into the mighty forest.

After a long time, when I was gasping for air, I slowed down and continued walking deeper and deeper to where I couldn’t hear anything except the singing birds and crickets, buzzing of the flies and other insects, and the wind that brushed gently through the tall trees.

I took a deep breath when I finally stopped and sat down on the ground. I lay down on my back and looked up at the blue sky, and smiled again. I was happiest in the wilderness. There were no beeping machines around me, just peace and quiet, and Mother Nature.

I closed my eyes and listened to nature all around me, and soon, the warm rays of sun cradled me gently to sleep.