I was out far longer than expected... that memory, why does it hurt so much? I looked at myself bandaged up, I must have passed out from the pain. They don’t want information, just want torture and my pain.
I remember a few days later in that dream memory, me and mom got hungry and Coale invited me back to his sea side home. I agreed, and planned for his mom and my mom to be friends. It worked well, but the thought of leaving Coale in the caves before the tide came back in was all too tempting. But I warned Coale that after my first call of the tide and he didn’t come running out I was getting his mom. The hesitation after my first call and no running feet I waited a moment. A moment that could have taken a life if I haven’t predicted the tide sooner out of worry. I got his mom, Coale was scolded, than I was scolded for lying about the tide coming in. Luckily the tide was coming in to save my little ass. I asked if her and my mom were friends, they mutually agreed. Than I made the bold move of asking if we could stay for dinner. I wanted to play longer. Of course hunger had a play in it too, or it was all hunger. Coale didn’t mind that I barged back in to his life, even though he first invited me and I just stayed. That night we talked, I wanted to be a police officer, but Coale directed me towards Detective. I was glad for it, it’s just too bad that he wasn’t serious about it. He could have been.
He could have been...
“Awake I see,” Doctor came in smiling her bright smile. I knew it was sadistic, but decided to play innocent for my minds sake.
“You wouldn’t happen to have medicine would you?” I asked and got up slightly, pain shot through me and I grimaced, showing my weakness to the doctor. Of course she appreciated the gesture and gave me a small does so I could still feel the pain, but at least it will be a dull ache. “Thank you,” I said as I took the pain medicine. She changed my bandages of course still inflicting pain, she sure was sadistic. If I hadn’t known any better I say she was trying to get me to call her ‘Master’ on my own. Or maybe that was what she was doing, or close to it. Would it help me if I said it? Just to lessen the pain? She’s been doing this to me for weeks after every beating... would it really help?
“You look like you want to say something,” she said knowingly, as she let up on her assault now using tender and gentle touches near my wounds. So it was her trying to get me to say it on my own. My mouth somehow tastes bitterly sour. “Stubborn,” she uttered and started to rough me up again. I already miss the gentle touch but pride stayed in my way making sure that I don’t make mistakes and guarding me well.
I was all to glad her assault stopped when food was brought, I didn’t care what time it was for, it was food. One of the large men took over for the doctor and started feeding me, almost in a caring manner. I wasn’t allowed to move my arms or legs since I was strapped down. The silence was comforting, thoughts of manipulating this guy rose but soon squashed down. If anything they were aware of my tactics and were taking precautions on how to handle me. I’ll just have to take my punishment and like it.
After the food the T.V was turned on to the news as if to rub it in my face that they weren’t looking for me. I was glad for my recent memory, they were trying to get a rise out of me.
“Did we miss the sports?” I asked and soon as I said it sports was on after the weather. “Ah, my team lost. Again.” The large man stayed in the room, as I malcontent watched the T.V the only entertainment they offered. Well not quite the only one, but I’d rather keep my pants on. It was horrifying that this guy, at least I think it was him, offered other entertainment. I think I played it off well since nothing was done to me. Either that or he was also turned off by the thought of doing it with another man.
As much as I like big muscles, they were not my type. They were just nice to look at, in my opinion and not totally be intimidated at my own slight muscular build. Alright I was intimidated... I’m not used to playing the cat to such a large man before me. Other guys sure, not that I played around much to begin with. But large intimidating ones I wouldn’t know what to do with.
I must be frustrated if I’m thinking about it... Just some release. If only my hands weren’t tied up every hour. If only they didn’t try to make me ask for it on my own. Thankfully bathroom breaks I didn’t have to ask on my own. I was ushered in the bathroom to relieve myself every 3 hours. Even if I didn’t have to go, I’d wash up. Taking the opportunity to jack off wasn’t an option, unless they actually leave the room. Which never happens, I’m watched as I go. It was uncomfortable at first, but with it happening frequently I had to accept it as it is. The open shower also didn’t help any when I was feeling somewhat better to do that on my own. Modesty was tossed aside weeks ago they had already saw it all.
“You ever regret your decisions?” I asked as a commercial went on.
“Feeling chatty are we?” the man said, probably a little disappointed that I looked uninterested at his words. “I regret nothing.” he finally said.
“Hm, I regret everything, even this conversation.” the room got silent again as the show started again. After another show, I was ushered into the bathroom and ushered back out and strapped back in. Everything turned off and I was left alone to my own mind. I adjusted myself to get comfortable only to realize that my dominate hand wasn’t strapped but my elbow was.
They are playing games with me.
Or the guy was feeling sympathetic?
They spent most of their time watching me, while I had no desire to do anything but take it as it comes. Should I take this chance and have them make me regret it? It was all too tempting.
Is this how they are going to break me?
I glanced to the door where someone is always standing. No one was there. There had to be camera’s in the room. Right?
How I haven’t noticed the strap was beyond me, but maybe I was getting too numb? They want me alive right? Not dead. If I give into their will, will I be alive longer? Will I be shown mercy? Or will they play with me than throw me away?
Either outcome... I’ll be dead.
I lifted my hand and inspected it, it looked bruised near my hands, the rest was bandages. I was cut in multiple places judging from the red showing on the white gauze. My fingers still worked, it wasn’t painful to move them. These people were good at what they do, well they did get their practice from me mostly. I remember after the very first beating, I couldn’t even move my fingers. Everything hurt so much worse. I hardly could stomach food the first few beatings. I sighed heavily and glance at the door for a good five minutes waiting for them to come back in and readjust my strap. No one showed up. So I am being watching? I turned my head to the ceiling that I was so accustomed to seeing and waited ten minutes.
Again no one showed up. Either they are listening, watching or just waiting for me to get the hint and take care of myself. I looked at my hand again, remembering the beatings I’ve received. They were actually starting to blur together now. I have no sense of day or night, for all I know it could be early morning late afternoon... These guys also don’t tell me the day... wait the news. Shit, I could have kept track this whole... ah! I must be slipping if I’ve forgotten that little fleck. I need to make note of that for the next entertainment hour.
I shifted having the pain starting back up again. Damn, does must have worn off. My stomach was starting to throb as did my other bruises and cuts. I placed my hand lightly on my aching gut, it felt like I was being kicked repeatedly again. I should be used to this by now, but the long interval gave me a bit to recover and feel that same pain all over again when it was time.
Maybe I should take this moment to actually feel pleasure? When will I get this opportunity again? I should just get this over and done with, I can reach just fine with how the bed is one of those at the hospital. Bent at the knees, slight lift of the head. I should just take care of it, they were allowing me too. I’ve spent enough time waiting for them to fix the strap, maybe they just weren’t coming back? Or just watching me agonize about it?
Fine.
Consequences be damned at this point. I already feel fractured, they’ll take this from me again tomorrow.
Slipping my hand under the covers, under the hospital gown I had on, they just had to give me flower printed. They must be enjoying this. I started to stroke myself to life, the touch was unexpected not once have my thoughts went to sex during my stay here. It was nothing but pain, but I’m glad they didn’t dare abuse me down there. At least it works, if my heavy breathing was anything to go by. I didn’t even think of the mess I’ll make, how embarrassing.
Focusing on my task, a few quick side-glances to the door told me that I was still alone. Oh, this is gonna hurt... I forgot about my recent beating was going to take this harder. I’m already so close, and to be thinking of the soreness afterwards, almost makes me want to edge myself just so I don’t have to feel the torment. Shit, it’s really going to be uncomfortable afterwards. I really do get no rest from the pain, it’s just a constant presence now. Nothing could help ease that feeling. I shuddered as my release claimed it’s mark to the anguish train.
I was right. It was agonizing. The momentary pleasure was very much needed but at what cost? I only succeeded in beating myself up. They must have enjoyed watching that, a quick glance to the door said that they were still not coming back any time soon. Well, at least they still know I’m human. I tried my best to relax, everything ached.
He walked up to the steps of his moms, he was bringing home someone.
“Don’t worry, I’m right here,” the voice beside him was reassuring him.
“Oh, I’m not worried about that, she’s expecting me to bring home a boyfriend.” Ember said with a smile.
“Really?” he was skeptical, “Ember you have the best mother ever if that were true?”
“If? Were? Well, Timber you’re about to see for yourself,” Ember knocked on the door and his mom opened the door quickly as if she were waiting there. “If you were there the whole time-”
“Umber!” she brought him in a hug. Ember laughed and hugged back.
“Don’t you mean Ember?” Timber asked.
“It’s not an accent. My name really is Umber, I just feel lazy about correcting people about it.” Ember said. “Mom this is Timber,” he said trying to get his mother to let him go.
“That’s nice dear, lets get inside before the chill hits. Timber is a cute name, how long have you dated my son?” she started asking him questions of how they met, while Ember got some drinks for them. He was glad his mom was doing better with finance, even if he had to work hard to help her... no them get there. He helped his mom get a job at a bakery, while he helped when he could, mainly because the lady was always helpful and understanding. She also liked when they played with the flour a bit, it was probably the only time the got to cook together.
“We bumped into each other on the street, I remember him because we have some of the same classes. Than we became friends and that escalated quickly...” Timber rambled on while he set the drinks and the recently made snacks down. “Ember... ah.. Umber,” Timber smiled at him, “is really good at baking.”
“Oh yes, when he was younger he’d help me in the kitchen at the bakery.”
“Oh? How was that like?” Timber asked eagerly.
“We were very serious with our work. Everything had to be exact!” his mother said in a very serious tone and face.
“Last I remember you threw powered sugar at me and the dough was really sweet after that. Luckily everyone took to our mistake as a new recipe, and the lady wanted us to make it again exactly the same way while she watched us. Clean up was fun though,” Timber started laughing at the monotone Ember used.
“Well you’re the one who threw cinnamon everywhere!”
“You told me to! Cinnamon Rolls were popular after that! Don’t get me started on the strawberries,” Ember shot back to his mom.
“Don’t get me started on the icing!”
“Whip cream!”
“Sprinkles!”
“Stop!” Timber laughed at their back and forth, holding his stomach as if he couldn’t breath.
“Mom remember when I was younger?”
“I do, and I still love you all the more for it.”
“Heinie’s are interesting at least.” Another fit of laughter from Timber, he didn’t know what they were talking about but the way Ember says things so casually got to him most.
“Oh, Honey. What am I going to do with you?”
“Love me, feed me, and kick my ass for not listening.” Timber couldn’t breathe at this point.
“I like him, have you told him that you like to drink blood from your partners? Like you did with your best friend Coale?”
“MOM!”
“Oopsies,” his mom laughed as Timber finally calmed down.
“My boyfriend is a vampire?” Timber asked as he got back up on the couch.
“I’m too old for fruit punch and cherry syrup. Too sweet also.”
“Shame, I made it for last years Halloween party, of course it was spirited everyone loved it.”
“So you really are okay with me dating your son?”
“Why? You planning to go anywhere else to find another small town man? Cause if you are I know a sweet young one that comes to the bakery to buy-”
“No thank you, Umber is enough,” Timber smiled.
“Oh I’m sure he is, if I didn’t know any better I’d say he’s a handful,” she winked and got up to refill the drinks. Ember sat down next to Timber after hanging around his mom’s chair while they chatted.
“Guess I was the one worrying this whole time, I mean my parents didn’t take to you very kindly... I was worried...” Ember placed a finger on Timber’s lips and just hugged the smaller man to him.
“When I was younger, I asked my mom a question in my stupid innocence.”
“What was the question?”
“My mom first said: My son and heinies don’t belong together. I asked her: And if I do? She said she’ll love me just the same.”
“She really was expecting you to bring home a boyfriend,” Timber said smiling. “I thought she figured you’d grow out of it?”
“No, when she that she’ll love me, she hesitated, I asked her if I should know what it meant.” Ember started than his mother interrupted.
“’Do you know what that means?’ I asked him and was like: NO, but if I find out and you didn’t tell me I’ll be so pissed I’ll throw this water on you!”
“I’m pretty sure there was a maybe in there.”
“Oh yes! MAYBE! NO, but if I find out and you didn’t tell me I’ll be so pissed I’ll throw this water on you!” Timber laughed.
“Not how it went but it will do for now.”
“Well I am getting old! One of you should pop out a grandchild for me to keep me company.” Timber laughed harder.
“I’ll see what we can do, but don’t get your hopes up.”
“Ember! Pregnant!?” Timber laughed.
“That’s not how it works, sorry mom, I didn’t have the talk with him like you did with me.” His mom was now laughing.
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