I finally had a stable job, running vehicle, a roof over my head with people that didn’t criticize me at every turn, a group of friends that won't betray me, and a guy I was seeing who had potential. Life was pretty decent. Good things only last for so long, though, and I remembered this as soon as I tried to start my car after work one morning only to find out I needed someone to jump me. This was just the beginning. My car was a 1997 Mercury Gran Marquis. It was a bit beaten up but it ran well and had a great deal of space and power. It was one of my most favorite vehicles, but there was a design flaw in that particular year that caused shorts in the battery from wiring issues during the manufacturing.
I had to jump my vehicle every time I needed to drive, so I asked a friend of mine to help me with this issue since he had knowledge in the arena. His name was Harvey. He was a very good friend of mine that I’d known since high school. He was also a close friend of Mitchell’s, which led me to believe I would be ok to hang out with Harvey without any distrust. Harvey was very reliable and respectful. He was also knowledgeable and fun so we became good friends and I spent time chilling with him while we waited for Mitchell to clock out from work. This went on for months.
Harvey would help me try to figure out what was wrong with my car and take me to and from work when I needed a ride. I paid him for gas and everything he’d put in to help me get my car in order and to me, that was where our friendship remained. Mitchell had become uneasy about me spending so much time with Harvey. I wasn’t around Harvey as much as he thought though. I spent time doing my own things and hanging out with other people besides Harvey, but Mitchell began to think there was something going on between me and Harvey.
It was around this time that I started to fall back from spending so much time with him. I told him how it made Mitchell uncomfortable and that it wasn’t what I wanted for my relationship. Now, I would use the time I hung out at Hervey's house to sleep for work instead. Mitchell ended up quitting his job and finding something new a bit closer to home. We were happy and content with each other most of the time. We had been through so much already, so I thought there was nothing that would rip us apart.
There was plenty of history between Mitchell and I as we had been together for a little over a year at this time. We made it through losing our baby. I never got to know if it was a boy or girl...never got to see it or feel it kick. I always feel like it would have been a boy. Losing a baby caused so much turmoil and misery. I felt guilty every second of the day like I’d done something wrong to end up miscarrying. Mitchell never talked about it. That bothered me, but I was younger and never thought to even ask him to tell me. It was a painful experience that we both wanted to move past, though, I think it altered the carefree and wild side of our love.
At some points we were sultry and promiscuous, others we were miserable and angsty. I can remember feeling like he was a stranger to me more often than not after the loss of our child. We both had so much we should have shared and never did. I wanted to be alone more often and I hated everything. My attitude was generally ornery and unpleasant. I made it a point to myself to constantly remain high no matter what I was doing. I smoked all the time and couldn’t have cared less about who I smoked with or where I smoked.
One morning, I stopped into the gas station down the road from my work and found that another friend that I knew from high school just started a job there. He asked if I wanted to smoke after he got off his shift and I agreed. He was a friend from 10th grade that I used to smoke with, so what's the issue with smoking with him now? So, I hung out in my car until he clocked out. I think I only waited for about 10 minutes.
He hopped in my car and I drove him down the road to his mother's house where he lived, so he could pick up his stash. We really had nowhere to chill and smoke as it was cold and wet outside, so I took him back to my new apartment. My mother thought it was a bright idea to put an open lollipop in a plant that was next to my cot in her office. It attracted a disgusting number of ants and I moved out that very day. I rented an apartment above my uncle. I thought going there would be fine since my family would be right under us and I wouldn’t be alone. I did not know how well my uncle soundproofed each apartment when he renovated and built them.
I was sorely mistaken on the kind of person my friend was. His name is Zech, by the way. I didn’t think he would do anything inappropriate because he was always so respectful and my uncle and his girlfriend were in their apartment below us. We had just spent the last hour sitting at my uncles table chatting away and joking, but I was wrong. I was so terribly wrong about Zech.
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