I’m having a peaceful dream.

Stretched out on soft grass, on my back, I look up overhead at the sweeping canopy of a tree. Stars are tangled in the dark branches. I see them shimmer through an ocean of pale purple petals. The blossoms put off a scent, sweet like honey.

A jacaranda tree.

I turn my head and discover that Aiden is stretched out at my side. I open my mouth to say something, and he puts a finger to his lips.

“Any moment, now,” he whispers.

I hold my breath, and wait.

It seems that I wait for a very long time, but I manage to keep still and quiet.

Slowly, inch by inch, comes the sunlight. Red and brand new, rolling down through the natural curtain of blossoming flowers. The branches of this tree are thick close to the trunk, but they fragment into smaller and smaller branches, jagged like a frozen lightning strike. Clusters of fruit hang heavy from the thinnest branches: hard round pods that resemble tiny turtle shells.

The dawn light slides down through each component of the whole: fruit, branch, bole, leaf.

Before it can touch the roots, there's a soft, feathery shuffle from all around us. I have the sense of a collective breath drawn in.

I turn again to Aiden, just in time to see the light touch his cheek.

He closes his eyes.

Thousands of birds burst into song around us, a chorus powerful and bright enough to rouse the entire mountain from its sleep.

There is no gap between my sleeping and conscious self, no drowsiness to swim around in. One second I’m deeply asleep, lost in my dreams, and the next, I’m flat on my back in bed, wide awake, staring at the ceiling.

I find my phone and discover that it’s ridiculously early in the morning. Way too early to wake up Aiden. He’s on his side, facing away from me. I lean over him and comb his hair out of his eyes, letting my fingernails trail gently along his scalp in a way I know he likes, sleeping or awake.

With his hair out of his face, I see right away that I actually should wake him up, immediately.

“Hey,” I whisper, right into his ear. “Aiden. You’re having a bad dream.”

Aiden doesn’t move, but his face is all screwed up, his mouth twitching, his breathing light and shallow.

I slowly drag my hand down his arm, sinking in some pressure. The same action, over and over, until Aiden’s eyes flutter open.

He rolls onto his back and looks up at me with mute terror, his blue eyes wide and unfocused. I cup his face in my hands, smooth my thumbs over his cheeks.

“You’re okay, babe! It was just a nightmare.”

He still looks confused and afraid, so I gather him up into my arms. He buries his face in my chest, breathing hard. I kiss the top of his head, holding him tightly.

“It’s okay, Aiden, you’re safe, everyone is safe, I’m right here with you... it's okay.”

Aiden’s heartbeat slowly begins to even out, and his trembling fingers stop gripping me quite so hard, though he doesn’t let go.

“I’m sorry,” he stammers, his voice as shaky as his hands.

I’ve already told him that he doesn’t have to apologize for things beyond his control, but if he needs to hear it again - if he needs to take refuge in my answer...

“Don’t be sorry,” I tell him. “I love you. You have nothing to be sorry about, not to me.”

Beneath the blankets, we’re still naked from earlier. But only Aiden’s head and chest are resting on me, so I reach down and hook my fingers around his thigh. I use it to move him, and when I’m done, our bodies are tangled up more closely, Aiden’s warm weight settled on top of me.

He has to wake up a little more to support himself, so that he doesn’t crush me. It seems to help guide him the rest of the way out of his dreams, and he blinks rapidly, gazing down at me.

“Hi,” I say, leaning up to push a kiss onto his jaw.

Whether it’s our mingled body heat, his skin against my skin, the sight of me beneath him, or the words that I’m saying - Aiden comes fully back to me from whatever dark place he just strayed to. He lets out a relieved breath, like only now does he believe this to be the reality, and the other place the dream.

“Hi,” he says, dropping his head until his nose brushes mine.

He kisses me, and I wind my fingers into his chestnut hair, happy to see him calming down. I hate to see him so scared, but I’m glad that I can at least be here for him, in moments like this.

“I feel bad,” I tell him, when he draws back.

Aiden stares down at me, startled. “You feel bad?”

“Yeah. I was having a really nice dream, while you’re like - going through it. That seems unfair.”

Something moves in Aiden’s eyes. He lets out a soft, incredulous laugh, then plants a kiss on my nose. I’m worried that he’s about to roll off of me, but he doesn’t.

Even the partial weight of him pins me completely to the bed. It’s a cozy, comforting sensation, like nothing on earth could get between us.

“Tell me about your dream,” Aiden says quietly, tracing his fingers in small circles on my collarbone. “That might help me calm down.” He pauses, then looks up at the semidarkness of my bedroom, the moonlight spilling in through the window. “Wait a sec - what time is it? You should go back to sleep. I’ll - I’ll just go for a run.”

I glance at the window, which is covered in a thick, opaque layer of frost.

Aiden slips out of the bed and starts looking for his boxers. I sit up hastily, goosebumps rising on my arms as his heat dissipates from me.

“You can’t go out there, Aiden!”

“I’ll be fine.” He’s trying to tone it down, but I can hear the frustration in his voice. “You know what’s actually unfair, man? That you have to lose sleep every fucking time I have one of these goddamn-”

“Aiden.” I lean towards him, and the blanket slips down my body. Aiden stops, his gaze caught on me. “Please don’t go.”

He takes a breath to argue, and I lock eyes with him.

Slowly, he drops to sit on the bed again. I twine myself around him as if I could root him here.

“You really don’t have to stay up.” He tips his forehead against mine. “It’s alright, I can handle it myse-”

“I was dreaming of that place in Mexico you told me and Noah about,” I interrupt, dragging my nose along his stubbled jawline. “Or - my idea of it. I’ve never been there, obviously, so I don’t know what it’s really like.”

Aiden stirs and draws back from me, a tiny, surprised smile on his face.

“That’s what you were dreaming of?”

“Mhm. You shape a lot of my dreams, Callahan. Although this one was more, um - appropriate? - than the others.”

He breathes out a soft huff of laughter, and I lift up the blankets, making room for him.

He hesitates, then climbs back beneath them. We curl up together again, Aiden fitting his body up close around mine.

We thoroughly wore each other out earlier - we spent all afternoon and most of the evening lost in each other, in the blankets, the last of the sunlight - but having Aiden wrapped around me like this sends a spark of electricity tripping down my spine.

I snuggle back against him in a not entirely innocent way, and a soft purr of pleasure rises from his throat.

I want Aiden to get some sleep, so I don’t do more than that. He traces his fingertips up and down my side, thoughtful, and quiet.

“Jamie,” he says.

I turn my head, surprised by Aiden’s suddenly bashful voice.

It takes him a long time to get to find his words, and his cheeks start to burn a little. He looks embarrassed, but I can’t tell if it’s because of what he’s trying to say, or how long it’s taking him to say it.

My heart swells as I watch this happen. God, do I love him. In a thousand tiny ways, and a thousand huge ones, too.

Sometimes I know what he’s got cooking up in that brain of his. This time, I’m really not sure, so all I can do is wait.

“I… I’m also sorry that we haven’t…” Aiden begins, his words slow and drawn out. “You know. Been able to do everything we want to do. It’s just so difficult for me to control my magic, when you and I - when we - I forget to control - forget everything, really, except for you, and-”

Aiden breaks off, looking mortified. He makes a helpless, frustrated sound. Then he rolls onto his stomach and burrows his face into the pillow.

I groan, too, because my heart can’t handle him. The flame in me is burning too hot, too bright.

“I’m sorry,” Aiden says into the pillow, misreading the noise I just made. “Jesus Christ, I hate myself. There was no way for you to understand any of that. I was trying - trying to say-”

I press a kiss onto his shoulder. “It's okay, babe. I understood."

He lifts his head very slightly, peeks up at me. “You did?”

“Yes, and again, I’m gonna have to ask you to stop apologizing for things that aren’t your fault.” I poke his ribs, then add: “Also, if you seriously think that there’s any chance I’m bored with what we’re already doing, then, like. Yikes. I need to get a smarter boyfriend. Third-grade education at least, this time.”

“Stop it,” Aiden protests, and then seems to process what I said. “Oh. Are you sure? Because I feel bad.”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” An upsetting possibility occurs to me. “Wait a minute, you aren’t bored, are you?”

Aiden blinks at me, then bursts into laughter, shattering the hush of my dark bedroom.

“Am I bored?” He flops onto his back, presses his palms over his eyes. “Holy shit, Jamie. Why do you think stuff starts exploding every time we go any further?”

“True… sometimes things still explode even when we don’t go any further.”

“Yeah, that's my point. I’m lightyears away from bored, I just…” Aiden glances at me, gently drags his thumb over my lips. “I want more.”

I smile at Aiden. I’m relieved to hear this, and also a tiny bit turned on.

“That’s exactly how I feel, dude. But I’m in no rush to get it. I’m not going anywhere, I’ve got time.” I snuggle up against Aiden’s side, let out a contented sigh as I settle back into his warmth. “Even if there was no magic involved, I wouldn’t want you to do anything you’re not ready for.”

“Oh, believe me, I’m fucking ready,” Aiden grumbles, covering his eyes with his hands again. “I’m ready, that’s not the problem. For this? Are you kidding me? I’ve been ready for years. It’s those windows that aren't ready. Anything breakable in this room - in this apartment - in this building, honestly-”

“Okay, I get it,” I laugh, spreading a hand on his chest. “The point is, I think that when the time is right, you’ll know it. So, don’t feel bad about it. Seriously.”

Aiden uncovers his face, looks down at me with searching blue eyes. I smile at him, reach up to smooth his hair back from his forehead. A hesitant, answering smile quirks up his lips.

“Still love me?” he rumbles, bending to nuzzle his nose into mine.

“Mmm.” I wince at him, then tilt my hand from side to side in a so-so kind of gesture. “Yeah, you know. Sort of. You’re - yeah, you’re great. I mean. You’re fine.”

Aiden groans loudly, tipping his head back. “I hate you."

The movement exposes his throat, and I snag the opportunity to shower it with light, airy kisses. Aiden laughs, then grabs a fistful of my hair, uses it to drag me away from his neck.

“You dumb, stupid jerk,” he says, and kisses my mouth instead.

My hand drops back onto his chest. Suddenly I’m burningly aware of each and every place where our bodies come together.

Aiden slowly breaks off the kiss, and I have to clear my throat two times before I can speak again.

“So glad you didn’t go for a run,” I tell him, cozying back up against his side. “We wouldn’t have had this conversation, otherwise. I told you that exercise is bad.”

Aiden laughs. I feel the vibration of it against my cheek.

We lapse into a comfortable silence.

“I don’t think I’m gonna be able to fall back asleep, though,” Aiden says, after a moment.

“Mmm. That's alright. You want me to tell you more about my dream?”

Another, shorter silence before he answers. “Yeah, okay.”

“We were together.” I shift slightly, so I can look up at him. “We were under a jacaranda tree. Did you see any of those, when you were in Mexico?”

“What do they look like?”

I give Aiden a brief description, and he nods right away.

“Oh, yeah. There are a lot of them in Mexico City. They’re gorgeous.”

I decide to venture a question. “Did you stay in Mexico City long?”

“No, I didn’t stay anywhere long. Besides Berlin.”

I nibble my lip, then blurt out - “You want to tell me some more about it? Since you can’t sleep, anyways?”

Aiden looks down at me, his blue eyes surprised. “Tell you more - about Mexico?”

“Not Mexico, necessarily, just - about your time away. I know that it wasn’t exactly the best time of your life, but. You know that I want to hear about it. You can stick to the happy moments, if that makes it easier.”

Aiden turns his head, fixes his gaze on the ceiling.

He goes quiet for a long time.

I'm a little worried that I overstepped, but Aiden doesn’t seem mad, he just looks - contemplative. There are memories moving in his eyes. I think he’s trying to choose one for me.

I wait, watching him, until his deep voice breaks the silence.

“There was this one place... Naxos. You heard of it?”

I shake my head no, my eyes on Aiden’s face.

“It's an island off the coast of Greece. There are lots of those, by the way. Greek islands. I knew that I couldn’t possibly check every single one. I mean, even if I just did the Cyclades - that would be two hundred and twenty islands, and that’s only one group, of many. So I started with the big islands first, and went to Naxos.”

Check every single island for what? I want to ask, but I force myself to keep quiet.

“I had just left Athens, and I was in a seriously dark headspace. I really thought that Athens could be the place where-” Aiden breaks off sharply, reconsiders before he goes on. “Just - I was super disappointed, and drinking a lot, which made everything worse. But then I got to Naxos, and it was so much quieter than everywhere I had been that week. There were these gorgeous beaches, ancient ruins right in the water…”

I listen in silence as Aiden describes it to me. I close my eyes, imagine I’m there. Blazing sunlight on the back of my neck. Sparkling Mediterranean waters, the doors to every home left open. Stray cats winding through bougainvillea. The shadowy outlines of other islands on the horizon, veiled by clouds and distance.

Peachy sunsets, stone walkways, white walls. Potatoes roasted with garlic and lemon. People setting up folding tables in the streets just outside their houses, to eat dinner in the warm twilight breeze.

“It sounds beautiful,” I say quietly, when Aiden stops.

His voice has grown drowsy, and his eyes are closed. “Yeah. It was.”

“Sounds like you were happy there.”

“I… sort of. Well. To tell you the truth - no, I wasn't. I just felt better. I wasn’t actually happy anywhere I went.”

My heart twists, and I squeeze him closer to me. “Not anywhere?”

Aiden lets out a sleepy sigh. “I was always homesick.”

He’s about to pass out, I can tell, but I need to ask one more question.

“I thought you hated Ketterbridge, the first time you lived here. Why would you be homesick for it?”

“Not for Ketterbridge,” Aiden murmurs. “For you.”

I can’t think of a word to say to that, and by the time I lift my head to look at him, he’s asleep.