While SAD and GAD are my main problems, the second would probably be OCD.

First, OCD is a spectrum just like most illnesses. For some, they have to have a clean desk or else they can’t work. Others need perfect table settings or they can’t eat. There are people with these thoughts, but like Anxiety, a disorder is when it changes your life.

I like pictures straight and the table cloth lined up, but I’m also a perfectionist. OCD is when you have to do something or else something negative will happen. It’s a must situation, not something that bugs you when you walk past.

OCD is when you obsessive over something and you are forced to do it. You have to, no matter what. If you can’t often there can be breakdowns, anxiety and a lot of pain for the person.

My main OCD is volume at home or while driving. If it isn’t on an even number or a multiple of five, something bad will happen. A person will break into the house and kill us or I’ll get into a car crash and kill people. This isn’t just something I should do, I have to. If I don’t someone will pay for my failure.

I count the clock chimes, or else something will break. I pick at my nails when they fall off because I can’t have any bumps. I pick at my face because I can’t have any rough surfaces. I have to, or else something bad will happen.

On that note, I don’t have many obsessions. I know people that need medication or else they could never leave their house. I’m thankful mine isn’t that bad, but it still changes my life.

I live with four boys, three older than me in their 20’s and one a couple years younger than me in his teens. They like to tease me, I’m the only girl in my family, and one thing they like to do is change the volume.

Please don’t joke about someone’s obsessions.

I watch as they turn the volume down one, and anxiety fills my body. I look at the doors, the window, where someone will break in. The ceiling will fall, a fire will start, in the end we will all die. I sit and worry while they think it’s funny.

After I was official diagnosed, this thankfully stopped. Mom told them to not cause me more anxiety since everything else makes me anxious. But it still happens, even if they don’t intend it.

If there is anything you take away from what I write, let it be understanding. If someone needs to close the door twice to keep the monsters out, let them. You have no idea what they are afraid of.