I swear Marco could've passed out right then and there. "Marcus breathe." I giggle.

"Am I hallucinating?"

"No, your in Mr.Cannon's math class with Payton Moron, AKA, your future bf."

"Aah! Kill me now Marco."

And that's when Payton sits next to Marcus. I pat him sympathetically and sit in the back. It gives me a view of everything and everyone.

"Marco!" He whines.

I wave and ignore his plea's to next to him. He's going to hate me so much later but it'll be worth the conversation he gets with Payton and expresses his feelings to him. 

But what about me? I've got to practice what I preach. I still haven't directly told Jax that I love him. He knows, yes, but he doesn't know full details on how I feel. 

I don't really pay attention to the lesson, instead focusing on my love life. I've never loved anyone else in my life. At one point in freshman year Marcus threw himself at me but I rejected him. 

He was never broken about it. It was a small crush but Payton is a lot bigger. I'm doing what I can to make him tell Payton. But Marcus can be annoyingly stubborn.

What about Jax? What do I tell Jax? God, this was so hard. I could just tell him upfront wherever, or I could do it alone. Both were very scary.

I give a frustrated sigh and pay attention to the math lesson. Of course boring calculus.

-End of Marco's POV

-Jax's POV-

I was so madly in love with Roxi. I would say head over heels but I don't wear those. And of course Roxi had to go and cheat on me. It was more annoying than sad. I knew he was keeping something from me but I had kept it positive. 

Sometimes positivitity doesn't do any good. If I was "so madly in love with Roxi" why didn't I cry a single tear?

I thought about laughing but I think it would've made him feel even worse about himself. (I should've but I didn't) Instead I simply hugged Roxi and kept rolling on through the night. 

Right before going to bed I laughed over my own idiocy. I laughed so hard I did cry, but not sadly. My mom wanted to know what was so funny. So I told her and she said, "First high school lovers never last. It's very rare."

"Thanks mom. But I've figured out who I really belong with."

She raises an  eyebrow and smirks, "Who Marco Lane?"

I freeze instantly, "How the hel-heck did you know that?"

"I read all your writings in your journal. I like to keep tabs on my child."

"I'm not a child." I object.

"Well when I read them I wasn't entirely surprised. You've known Marco since the middle of fourth grade. That's six and half years of history."

It was 8th grade. I don't know why I buried those feelings... I think I was scared. I stayed at Gaven's house. Mom was ready to kill me that day.

"14 and first crush. At that time you had hard times with your feelings 'cause your father died. That's why I got you a journal in the first place. I wanted you to write your feelings down inside the journal and not keep them inside.

"I didn't think it would actually work. When I read those words after that week I understood why you wouldn't talk to me.

"So when you got with Roxi I wanted to know how you felt about Marco afterwards."

Wow I didn't know my mom was so into my love life. I'm her only son, but still.

"Well I'm going to tell him tomorrow. I just don't know how yet."

Mom laughs, "If your father were here to see you like this he would've dragged you through the night for you to confess."

I smirk, "Yeah, he would. Welp goodnight mom."

She gives me a hug, "Goodnight Jax. Tomorrow you will kiss Marco."

"Mom!" My face flushes red. She laughs all the way to her room. 

In the morning I wake up. I check the phone and it's 7:20. Great, I've woken up late.

"Shit." I get out of bed and get dressed in a black long sleeve shirt and grey sweats. Then I pull on some Adidas and race into the kitchen.

Mom is drinking a cup of tea. "Why didn't you wake me up?" I ask.

"I thought you wren't a child anymore."

I give an annoyed look and grab a Poptart from a cabinet and put it in the toaster. 

"I know you guys had a fight yesterday. I read about it early this morning while you snored."

I freeze. I forgot about that. Even though it was like 15 hours ago. I couldn't really explain why I didn't like him. I was so bright-eyed over Roxi, I didn't give one thought about Marco. He was really angry on the phone and I wanted to know why. This was before Roxi broke the news. 

He wanted to know if I ever loved him, was our friendship not what he thought it was, was everything I said-did it mean something else? He yelled them at me and and yelled back at him confused with anger. I had never seen him or even heard him angry before. He was like a whole other person over the phone and it scared me. 

Shutting my eyes I sigh. He's probably really mad. I might have just ruined my chances at having him. And if I didn't, what would I say to Kelsy, Kane, Jordan, Amanda, and Blaise. Being popular had it's downsides. They knew I liked guys but they didn't know that I was pan sexual. Which would make things complicated if they knew.

The pastries pop up and I take them out the toaster. I would be sad if Marco rejected, but only time will tell. 

"I see your dressed for the occasion." Mom observes.

I look down at my clothes and smirk. Too busy about being to worry about my clothes. I dressing in Marco's favorite colors. "Not purposely. Fate I guess." I shrug.

She smirks back and I eat my breakfast . Quickly finishing I brush my teeth and grab my backpack. 

"Someone's in a hurry. Let's go." Mom grabs her keys and we walk out the house. In the car I toss my backpack in the back and sit in the passenger seat. On the drive to school it's quiet. Once were in the parking lot then does my mom say something.

"If he doesn't say yes just know-" She starts.

"Let's keep it positive mom."

She smiles and I grab my backpack. I kiss her on the cheek and close the car door. Mom waves and drives off. I can already see the group of Goths when I head for the school doors. They all huddle around Rosilen.

Marcus's head looks up to me and he says something. Marco then looks at me but looks away quickly. Damn, I really messed up. 

Marco starts walking toward me but slowly. When he's close enough he's silent.

"...I'm sorry about last night." He starts. Why should he be sorry? I was the one being a jackass. 

"We broke up. Roxi and I broke up." I blurt. I don't know why or how but it just suddenly came out. Maybe because I'm planning on confessing to him. It's the oblivious answer.

Marco looks at me in disbelief. I can see his mind thinking back to the fight we had. "N-no it wasn't you. Roxi admitted that he was cheating." I can see him relax. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"I had a feeling he was. And I'm sorry also. You had questions and.. I was being a huge douche." I apologize. 

Marco laughs, "You were. I just want things to be normal between us gain."

"So do I." And I really meant it. He smiles but looks away quickly. We walk to Rosilen and the others. When I see Rosilen I'm shocked.

"Whoa, what happened your hair? And why are you all wet?" I ask.

"Go ask Angee Miller." Rosilen sneers. "Oh and her Rek friends."

Reks were not ones to play or be nice with besides their own friends. And Angee Miller was a horrible too. There was a rumor that at a party she slept with her brother and I believe that it's true.

I wince, "Yikes."

"You missed all the drama." Marcus says.

No duh. That's what happens when you wake up late I guess. "I had a lot of drama on my own. Roxi broke up with me." I say to them. They all stare at me in surprise. "I think it wasn't meant to be."

Marcus snorts, "Ya think?" He quickly glances at Marco. Marco glares back.

"That's pretty sad." Ember says with no ounce of sympathy. Though I wasn't expecting her to. Ember can be the ice queen type.

Rosilen brings up the school field trip and I remember turning in my application right before I started dating Roxi. I wasn't looking forward to the after party. Most did.

"Marco? Are you paying attention?" Ember snaps. Marco shakes his head.

"Sorry Em." Ember rolls her eyes.

"She was asking if your gonna go to on the school field trip. The last time to sign up is this Friday." Ema says.

"Er, I don't know still. I heard a lot of bad shit happens on that trip." Marco cringes. 

That was true. Blake went on that trip last year and never wanted to go again. Someone threw up all over him. 

"You've had two months to think on it." Rosilen says. 

That had to have hit a nerve. "I had other things going on. I wasn't really worried about the trip." Marco snaps.

As soon as he said it I felt entirely guilty. It was my fault after all on why he felt that way.

"I'm sorry... I'll go. My parents won't care anyhow."

The school bell rang and Marco rushes off. 

Coco wait." I call  and walk after him. He walks faster but I catch up easily. I grab his arm and pull him into the nearby boy's bathroom. I turn him around and hug him. It's the only thing I can think of. He burst into tears and he starts to slide down so I slide down with him. 

On the ground Marco cries it all out. I expect Marcus to come bursting in but he doesn't. Were quiet for a moment and Marco calms down.

"Marco I'm so sorry for everything. I'm more than sorry." I say.

"I know. I know you are. Did you read my letter?" He sniffs.

"Yeah I did. I read it many times. I still have it. 5th grades seems like a long time ago. But I still remember how frightened and hurt you looked that day.

Your hair hair was still fully gray, you only wore eye shadow, and you were wearing a black suit and tie, along with your favorite black boots. It was picture day.

"I remember it so clearly. Just like now, you cried in my arms." I feels nice to remember that day, but also a little pain.

I look at his face. His eyes are and it makes his black lipstick look different. He can always pull off black lipstick. He could always pull off any black makeup he wore. But I always liked it when it was just black eye shadow.

He let's of me and gets up from the ground. Grabbing paper towels from the dispenser Marco wipes his face off. 

"We should go to class. Were already late and I don't want to hear Mrs. Sheath's scratchy voice on high." He tells me.

I chuckle and head for the door. Before I open it Marco hugs me. I hug him back and smile. We leave the bathroom and head to our classes. I walk into class. We have a sub. Her name is written on the Elmo board. Ms. Clace.

I take a seat in the front row where I always sit with Kane and Amanda.

"Looks who's late?" Amanda gives an annoyed look.

"Sorry Marco..."

"Oh what happened?" She asks dryly.

"I'd rather not talk about it."

"Likes there's much to talk about, Marco-"

"Amanda give it a damn rest. He just got her. And just because you don't like him doesn't mean you can go trash talking about him anytime you want. And that's Jax's friend, so that's even more rude." Kane scolds her.

Amanda sniffs and looks away. I honestly don't know why she's in the group. (popular group) All she does is judge and trash talk everybody who's not good enough to her. She was a total gossip and drama queen. 

I guess only because Blaise loved her. I don't know what he see's in her honestly. We all had to put up with her crap. Every single day. 

I give Kane a thankful look and he nods back. Kane is a great dude. He always respects all of us but has entirely no patience for Amanda. No one but Blaise actually.

She once tried to lie on Kane saying that he tried to hurt her and threaten her. There was a lot of drama and still she was allowed back in the group. Kane didn't put up a fight because he didn't want anymore drama.

"Okay everyone, please look up to the board. I want to keep things easy for when your teacher comes back." Ms. Clace says.

I take out my science spiral notebook and flip it to a clear page. Amanda thought I was a goody-two shoes. But I was really tired of caring what Amanda thought. As Ms. Clace started the lesson I took notes on important parts.

"How are you so popular? Your such a nerd." Amanda whispered to me.

I know she was joking but I was already pissed off at her. I stop writing mid-word. " You know Amanda?" I say sarcastically. " By not going to every mansion party and ruining my own rep for a couple hours of "fun". " I make my fingers into quotation marks. She flinches like I'd just slapped her. Perhaps my words did. Good, I hope they did.

I go back to writing and listening to the lesson. When the bell rings for the next class Amanda rushes out and Kane smiles in my direction. What a bitch, I think. 

"What did you say to her?" He asks.

"I just mentioned her going to mansion parties and her rep." I grab my backpack and head for my locker. Kane follows after me. 

"Amanda's going to tell Blaise. That might not go well Jax." Kane warns me. 

I simply shrug, "Blaise has nothing on me. And if he says something to I'll just say the she was trying to start shit. Again. Which you know is absolutely true. The whole group could attest to that." 

Kane doesn't reply and I reach my locker. I spin the dial and unlock it. I throw my backpack in and take my binder out along with a couple sticks of licorice gum. I always have a couple of pieces of gum on me. I close my locker and we walk to English.

"So, I'm running the field trip after party. I wanted to know if you would help me out?"

"Me? No way. I don't plan on it. I might be going on the trip but I'm not going to the party."

"You think Ember would help, or Ema?" 

I gawk at him, "Ember might but Ema's not that reckless."

"You act like the after party is really horrible." Kane rolls his eyes.

"Um, cause it is. A third of the students have sex that trip and I'm not planning on it. I'm not one who can take peer pressure either."

"Ugh, this sucks. I need one extra hand and I can't get it."

"Ask Rosilen." I suggest.

"Hell no! She might try to take over something."

I laugh because it's kinda true. Rosilen can be controlling sometimes. But that has its advantages. That controlling nature of hers lead her to the captain of the Debate club and strong rolls in Drama. Rosilen was quite a rose, but she did have some thorns.

"I'm still gonna ask Ember though. I think I have a good chance going."

"Roxi and I broke it off." I tell him after a moment of silence.

"Damn." He shakes his head, "It's only been two months. Most last a bit longer."

"Well, I don't care about Roxi breaking it off. I have someone far more important to tell."

"Who?"

If Kane didn't know, was my love for Marco that blind to everyone? "You really don't know?" I ask surprised.

"No, I really don't know." He shakes his head again.

I take a calm breath and release it, "It's Marco." 

"Wait, when came into class earlier and you Marco... you didn't tell him at that time?"

"...No. He was heartbroken over the two months. I did that to him and I... I want to make up for that. Truly in my heart, I love Marco."

"That's deep."

"Thanks."

"You and Marco would make a good couple. Better than Amanda and Blaise. Just saying."

-TBC