The most beautiful thing about being disgusted is that at that precise moment life comes to hate you and puts in front of you a million things that make you nauseous. I guess by now the most appropriate thing to do would be to go to the doctor and see what the hell it's going on with me, however my stubbornness convinces me that it is a better idea to go to the pharmacy, buy medicine and of course, why not, self-medicate myself to death.

As I walk to the pharmacy I think of the front page of a newspaper "18-year-old student, Allison Doyle, dies after ingesting a bottle of vitamins in the form of gummy bears. Her parents not being home most of the time have not yet been notified". Doesn't sound very promising. I continue walking watching the small birds migrating to a dark place to rest at ease. The sky begins to change color and with it the emotions of the people still walking on the sidewalk, it is as if a black afternoon is synonymous with bad news.

Arriving at the pharmacy, I meet a woman probably about my age, who at first glance looks a little intimidating.

"Hello," I greet her shyly. She greets me back and asks me what I need, I explain how I feel and wait for her to have something for me, because it really gets stormy after a while.

"Listen, according to my little knowledge of how the human body works, that sounds like a possible pregnancy to me," I gasp wondering if she's right or not. "So here comes the million dollar question, did you get your period yet?"

"No, although I don't think it's a problem, I've always been... very... irregular...," I stammer as she holds out a pregnancy test. I wrinkle my nose in complete denial. She doesn't give up and waves the box in my direction, I reluctantly take it and lock myself in the bathroom at the back of the pharmacy.

Nervously I try to get comfortable in the toilet, for a public restroom it is in very good condition, I place the test where I am supposed to go and wait the time printed on the box. Then look at the results. After a few minutes I find myself on the bathroom floor crying with the test in my hands. I shake my head as another tear rolls down my cheek. This has got to be a joke, with that growing thing in my belly all hope of accomplishing everything I wanted to accomplish is gone. What am I supposed to do next? Now the idea of self-medicating myself to death doesn't sound as bad as it did in the beginning. Better yet, we can change the headline of the newspaper.

I come out of the little room with tears still sliding down my cheeks, my eyes are puffy and the disappointed expression won't go away no matter how hard I try. The saleswoman looks at me wanting to say "I told you so", but my overwhelm is enough to shut her up.

"You're pregnant, aren't you?" I nod with more tears in my eyes. "Oh no, come here," she pulls me to her and melts me into a warm embrace. "It's going to be all right"

"Oh, I doubt that. It was... I needed one night, one night to end everything I'd worked for," I pull away from her and bring my hands to my head. "My parents are gonna kill me"

"Who's the father?" she asks with a hint of illusion. "Wait, you don't know?" Asks when she sees that it takes me a long time to process an answer.

"Does the cliché of the American gambler ring a bell? I don't know him well, but guess he's slightly smarter than the rest of the team," I reply with a pout of resignation.

"Well, it's better than nothing," she tries to joke but his comment only causes me more disgust. "What hormones," I start laughing at the stupid way he said it, "What are you planning to do, tell him? Wait, will you have an abortion? Will you tell your parents? What will you do when your belly grows? Will you still go to school? Will you get a job? Will you move out on your own? How will you support her? How will you support yourself? Will you be a single mother? Where will you live? Ohhh, wait. Will you force the idiot to take over? Will you get married? Will you adopt a dog? Oh my God, seriously what are you planning to do?" Once  realizing I have nothing planned I start to get upset and start crying again. "Honey, tell your hormones to calm down, because I'm not going to put up with 9 months of tears," she puts her hands on her hips and looks at me as I recover. I ask her what she means and her face lights up a little. "Cute girl, I don't know how many friends you have in your life, but at least you have one more. Yay," she smiles and hugs me. I guess having someone to support you isn't such a bad thing after all.

I still don't know how to tell my parents. Besides, it's not even accurate, it was a test done in a drugstore bathroom, that doesn't mean anything, right? Upset I walk from side to side in my room debating the idea of how to tell my parents what happened, I don't know how they will react, I don't know how I will react, what am I supposed to do? Arriving and telling them "guess what, I went to a party, got involved with a stranger and now I'm pregnant" is not the best of ideas. I stop in front of the window wishing I could go back in time and beat myself up before I make that mistake. I keep walking around until I hear my bedroom door open. I turn around finding my parents inside my room with their arms crossed. I don't know how to feel about it, I don't even know how to decipher their faces. My nerves become noticeable as soon as I grab my charm and start fiddling with it. There is a huge silence in the room, so much so that I can hear my own heartbeat and the cries for help that I mentally throw out.

"Can I help you with anything?" Tired of the silence was the only thing I could finally utter, my parents let out a long sigh and that made me even worse.

"Are you pregnant?" Their question scares me and I hold the air inside my lungs for a long time. How did they know? Who told them? Did they follow me? Did they read my thoughts? How? "No, they didn't tell us anything. When you came back from the street, you dropped the test from your backpack," my mother raises her hand and I see she is holding the test. "When were you planning to tell us?" To be honest, I was expecting a little more drama, although deep down I was hoping for a different reaction, a little more supportive given my sexual-love registry.

"Can I take this reaction to mean that they are not upset?" Their faces show deep offense, I still don't know what emotion they are showing at the moment.

"Of course we are," my father speaks as sternly as ever, "Were you planning to hide it? Were you hoping no one would notice?! You were... You were my pride," his comment hurts me enough to react against him.

"Now because I have a baby I'm a disappointment? I mean, you two got pregnant with me at this same age, and I'm pretty sure that grandma didn't tell you that," My mother lets out a worried sigh after hearing me speak and I see how she fights back tears.

"Yo don't get to say that. Everything you have we gave it to you! We worked our asses off so you can be you. What we did has nothing to do with what you are doing now, don't try to look for excuses where there are none!," They both look at me in annoyance and my eyes mist over with impotence.

"Good! Let's use my right to decide and have an abortion," I take my jacket and I'm about to leave the room when my parents block my way. 

"No, you won't," my dad replies. "It's your mistake, take care of it," he looks at me angrily while my mother bows her head to keep from crying.

"How do I explain to you that it wasn't something I planned? And now you expect me to give this child God know what kind of life? That's worse than my first option", I cross my shoulders, daring them to let me pass.

"But it still happened. You didn't get pregnant by the Holy Spirit. And I'm sure they didn't force you into anything. Everything that happens is a consequence of the decisions you make, there's no one to blame. And don't be dramatic, you'll manage to give this kid a decent life," saying this, they leave my room, closing the door behind them. 

My parents' fury makes me want to have an abortion even more, I don't even have a job and out of nowhere I'm supposed to mantain a baby. That's a great idea sor sure.