Emma and I started downstairs, we would have to take the bus, so we made sure to bundle up. She seemed quiet still, so once we were outside I turned away from the direction of the bus stop.

“Where are we going? The stop is this way?” She said, and I glanced back.

“No rush. Let’s go get something to drink, we can relax a little before we go.” I offered, I didn’t want all this to ruin our friendship, so I thought maybe some relaxing time spent together could be good.

In the cafe I liked to go to, we sat with our drinks across from each other. Near the window. She looked like she had something on her mind, but was too nervous to say anything. I was the one to end up saying something of value.

“I’m sorry, for being really bitter lately.” I thought it best to start with an apology. She looked up from her drink.

“Oh, no, don’t worry. You’ve been having a really hard time. I just wish there was something I could do to help. I understand.” She said, sounding genuine. I shook my head.

“You’re helping a lot just by being around. You don’t need to do anything more.”

“Hahah. Right.” Her laugh sounded humorless, and that made me more concerned.

“Is something wrong?” I frowned. What if this was something I couldn’t fix?

“No!” She sat straight at attention. Then sagged. “I mean, ah. Not technically, it’s kind of my own problem. I don’t want you to worry about it, you already have so much on your plate.” She laughed again, this time a bit more convincingly.

“Well, tell me anyway. The world doesn’t revolve around me, I wanna know how you’re doing, too.” I said, nudging the hand around her cup with one of my own. She smiled, and looked out the window without saying anything for a time.

“Alright.” She started, “But you gotta promise me this won’t change anything. Kay?”

“Okay.” I laughed lightly with a slight tilt of my head, curious now, and pleased she was telling me. She looked a bit more lively already, which was a good sign.

“I’ve been crushing on you like a little highschooler since we started all this crazy destiny stuff. I thought maybe you might’ve liked me too, but I don’t think so anymore. Which isn’t the problem, I was more annoyed that I couldn’t get myself to bring it up before things started getting more out of hand.” She explained all at once.

I was taken aback, I mean, I remembered what Jett said. At the time he said it though, I was just chalking it up to him messing with me. I took a second to look back on all the times we had together, and I guess I could sort of see it? Now that it was being brought up?

“Oh.” Was all I managed to bring myself to say. Emma was quick to follow up.

“Really, no pressure to like, say how you feel or anything. I know you’re dealing with a lot and I didn’t want one of those things to be me and some silly feelings.” She waved her hands about, and laughed lightly.

“I knew it.” Jett muttered from the bag. Subtly, I hit the satchel as if he would feel it, but I hoped he got the message anyway.

“No, no, Emma. Your feelings matter, keeping things bottled up makes a mess of things the longer you do it. I’m glad you told me.” I smiled, but also tapped my foot nervously. I would know about keeping things bottled up, wouldn’t I? I shook my head.

“I… I wish I could say the same thing about you, but I’m sorry.” I shook my head, again. She smiled back.

“Don’t worry about it. I could guess.” She chuckled as she took a sip of her latte, she lowered the cup again. “Erm, you don’t have to answer, I’m just curious. But do you? Like anyone, I mean?”

My cheeks felt hot suddenly, I looked away shyly. I scratched the back of my neck.

“I-I don’t know. It’s kind of complicated.” I ended up saying. Emma was able to tell me about her feelings, and she was my best friend. I should be able to tell her mine, too.

“Is it? Sorry, you don’t have to-” She started trying to backtrack. I waved my hand.

“No. I should say it to someone.” I said, chewing my lip. My palms felt sweaty, and my stomach felt like it was filled with locusts. Screw whoever came up with the butterflies analogy. She tilted her head, patiently.

“I think…” I trailed off at first. “I mean. I’m pretty sure. I’m maybe.. Probably… not straight?” My voice came out small, I was worried she couldn’t hear me.

“You’re maybe what?” She asked, confirming my thoughts. I bit my tongue, and decided to just say it outright.

“I’m gay. Probably. Yeah.” I had to lower my hands below the table to stop her from being able to see them fidgeting. I’d never come out to anyone before, much less even let myself agree with it.

“... I knew it.” Jett repeated, and I hit him again, this time cutting a quick glare downwards as well.

“Oh, Finlay…” She said, I dared a brief glance up to her face. She didn’t look sad or mad, but she did look concerned. I started getting more nervous.

“There’s no reason to feel ashamed of that.” She said, surprisingly.

“What? Who says I’m ashamed?” I fretted in my seat.

“You’ve never mentioned it before, and you won’t look at me.” She reminded me, and I supposed it was true. I probably looked a wreck right now. I tried to take a deep breath, and exhale it slow.

“You don’t… Think I’m weird?” I asked as I finally looked up more fully. Emma snorted.

“I could find a million other reasons to think you’re weird. Being gay is perfectly normal.” She said, like it were true, I shook my head.

“No it isn’t it’s… I mean…” I sighed, this was getting into the ‘too much info’ category pretty quickly. “Mom’s not… the most understanding, of people like me. She gets confused, talks about how they would feel better if they let God into their life, met the right woman... Or something.”

“Seriously? People now are so ridiculous.” I glanced down at Jett again, confused. Emma shook her head while he did this.

“Then when you bring your mom back, and I know you will, we can show her that it’s not true, together. Alright?” She offered, and I stared contemplatively for a time. Eventually nodding.

“We’ll have to see about it.” I said eventually.

We spent a while just chatting, and laughing together until our drinks were empty. It was much more relaxed now, and Emma seemed to return to her cheery self. I was glad I was able to help, even if it didn’t turn out how she wanted. We eventually left, sometime after 1pm, and headed for the bus stop. The ride wasn’t too eventful, and we made it to the museum just fine. I looked around the wide open lobby area, at the information desk, and at the patrons scattered about. Here goes nothing, right?