I was tired, but I need to keep myself active, I can’t go back to sleep. Not yet when I’m so close to getting myself back in control.
“Don’t fight it, I know you are tired, rest.” Path’s voice deepened slightly like he was losing his patience. I sighed heavily and closed my eyes, that was a mistake.
He worked undercover before, this gang was no different. It was under the rule of Kyle Shivers, one of the higher ups. Ember had often been used to rough people up, he took pride in beating someone’s face in. One of his guilty pleasures, and it seems Kyle saw this and used him for more. Ember didn’t mind, it was fun watching people’s faces go from perfectly quiet to a bloody screaming mess.
“Coldhand Rykchrade, I need you to do me one more thing. After you are finished beating her little face in, maybe you can skin her?” Kyle laughed while a young woman in her early twenties whimpered. “Or little one, you can tell me where your husband is? Hm?” Kyle laughed again. Ember walked up to the woman and stared down at her, wondering. It would be nice to soak his hands in warm blood, to feel her lovely soft skin and feel it’s texture when it was off her. “Be careful with your words, little one. Ryk isn’t one to be gentle when it comes to... others,” Kyle laughed.
“I don’t-” a loud noise was heard, like a cracking of a whip.
“I told you, Ryk isn’t a nice man,” Kyle said laughing, “That slap was just a warning. Speak now, or be silenced forever.”
“Why are you doing this!” the woman cried, and looked ready to speak more until another whip sound was heard.
“You’re wasting time, Ryk is getting impatient. His reasons are his own, he just enjoys helping me because I let him do what he wants. Now, where is your fool of a husband?”
“I’m not-” another slap.
“I’ll enjoy your blood on my hands,” Ember said coldly taking out a knife and holding it to her throat. ‘Her blood on my hands, how...’ he smiled as the blade started to make a line, ‘exciting!’
“Oliver’s!” the woman screamed. Ember backed off, knowing fully well that Kyle would want more. ‘So close, maybe it was a good thing? I almost... why am I not relieved that she said something? Why do I feel... what is this feeling?’ the woman spoke more of where her husband was and Kyle sent people to get him.
A message was spread out to the underworld of Kyle Shivers, and the man Coldhand Rykchrade. The woman was defiled and the man beheaded. Ember smiled down at the people before him as if to say, ‘Look at what I can do’. Not long after, Ember lead Kyle away and had him locked up. The look of betrayal was priceless in Ember’s eyes. He never regretted locking the man away, only that it was all over too soon.
I awoke to silence for once. It was odd, no one was in the room, no one looking after my wounds. I sat up realizing that I wasn’t strapped down. I wandered to the bathroom, looking at myself. I still looked like a skeleton, but a bit more lively. If it could be called that, I looked skittish, shifty and unsure. I seen my face grimace at me and held my hands on the mirror.
Place your hands here.
I haven’t moved from my spot as my reflection held his palms towards mean leaning forward. Waiting.
Place your hands here, and repeat after me.
The mouth moved as he spoke, I took a breath and stepped forward and placed my own hands where the reflection was.
I am Umber Wixx, I will not be broken.
My hands shook, voice caught in my throat.
This was stupid.
I am Umber Wixx, I will not be broken. Say it.
I sighed and looked down towards the sink and whispered, “I am Umber Wixx, I will not be broken.”
Again, this time look at me.
I looked up only a bit and repeated.
Again, look at me.
I rose my eyes to my chin and said it. The voice didn’t say anything and I knew he wanted me to look him straight in the eyes. This was one of those pep talks to yourself routine, where you look at yourself in the mirror and say ‘I’m a winner’ with all the conviction in the world. I didn’t like doing that, because I knew I wasn’t. I sighed and rose my eyes to meet his.
His eyes were stone cold, face stern, his focus unmoving. My heart hammered in my chest and my hands trembled. Have this guy always been like this? Have I been like that? Am I that?
“I am Umber Wixx, I will not be broken.”
Again, don’t look away.
“I am Umber Wixx,” I somehow managed to keep eye contact with this man, “I will not be broken.”
Good, good, again.
“I am Umber Wixx, I will not be broken,” my voice was now steady, almost matching the voice. Was it my voice? Am I trying to get myself out?
Listen to me, we will get out of here. I want you to do this every day when you wake up. Think it if they are watching, mouth it as if saying you look awful. We will get through this.
He was right, I need to get my mind back together. I feel a terrible throbbing against my skull. Like I wasn’t suppose to remember myself.
You did good, we can do this again next time, go out and see what’s happening.
I walked out of the bathroom and looked around. It was still empty. I seen some clothes on the bed and wondered if it was there before. Was I really being watched? I slipped on the loose sweat clothes and tried the door. To my surprise it was unlocked. I slowly peeked out and saw no one standing guard.
So that’s their plan.
What was?
Trying to make you comfortable before stripping it away.
That’s cra- I stopped myself.
Getting better. I’m proud of you.
The voice praising me was like a small light being given a piece of dry grass. I enjoyed it. I wanted more of it. Was this healthy? This voice was me, after all. I know I’m manipulative to some level when it comes to praising someone. Only to my benefit. What could I give this voice? Aside from my only thread of sanity?
Stepping out of the room I seen that it was a long hallway. Two doors to my right, none on my left. I poked through the first door, and seen that it was medical supplies. Now I see where they got all this stuff to heal me. That doctor must be stocking this place up for awhile. I closed the door and went to the second. It was a storage unit for machines and mattresses. It seems they are quite prepared in case I were to go on life support, or have a sudden heart attack.
Well shit, they really want me alive. I walked the rest of the way towards the stairs at the end of the hall. This was a big basement, I assume that there must be another way down behind the walls. I looked to my left when there was suddenly an opening. There was a door to the blank wall. I opened that and saw hospital gowns, socks, towels, bed sheets and blankets on my left, and to the right was regular casual dark clothes, shoes, hats, jackets... they really thought of everything, haven’t they? Closing the door I walked up the stairs.
Opening that last door, I prepared myself to be pushed back down.
Nothing.
What was happening?
Did they indent to give me this much freedom? Won’t they worry I’ll run? Call someone? I tried my best to shield myself from the natural light that shown through the high windows. It was so bright, the walls were a neutral light color, I can’t quite make it out, maybe off white? Egg shell? Who the hell knows, I’m partly blind. I stepped into the hall and seen that it lead to more places.
I’d be lying that this wasn’t overwhelming. I’ve only been in two rooms at most, and never had this much space to move about. I was almost mousing my way back to the stairs when I noticed the kitchen back door. I walked over seeing a familiar scene. I looked around, the place was empty. The whole place sounded like it was empty. I tried the back door, and wasn’t at all surprised to see it locked.
I needed a key to get out, the key had become the doorknob to the back door, and maybe also the front door. I went to the fridge and searched the top. It was clean. I decided to see what was in the fridge.
There was nothing in it. Sudden realization, they might try to starve me for this torture method. They’ve done a lot of physical torture, now they want to try my mind. Is that why that voice was persistent with me telling myself that I won’t break? I walked to the other room connected to the kitchen, it was a dinning room. Papers were scattered across it as if the person had it in a neat pile and suddenly had to leave knocking them over. I looked at them and seen that it was me. It was my information. My hands start to shake, noticing that they have been watching me for a very long time. I’m a good detective, I’ve done undercover work, shadowing, hard cases... my head starts to hurt again.
Looking away from the mess of papers I walk to the next connecting room.
The living room.
Big screen t.v, dvd player, some kind of entertainment system and stereo. Black fuzzy couch, long low coffee table, a few plants here and there. No windows.
Oh no, there they are. High above me.
Is that a railing? There’s another floor it seems.
I decided to go down the hall, it seems all the doors are at the end. I glanced into one of the rooms on the left and seen boxes. Storage? I’ll look at it later, who knows how long I have. I looked at the second room, empty.
I turned down the hallway and looked into the other door, a whole bunch of junk. I found the stairs while turning the corner and walked up them. I seen the railing and looked down at the living room. I looked and seen that I could go one way or another. I decided right was my best option and started walking.
Railing turned into a wall quickly and on my right the wall turned into a window. Through that window was gym equipment.
Walking further past the room I seen three doors down the left side of the hall when I turned the corner. I opened one of them and seen it was a bedroom. This room had clothes scattered here and there a few nick knacks posters of some band. I closed the door and walked to the second one.
This one had a more clean environment, not much was up, only a few weights laying about.
I closed the door and walked to the last room, in it was a bunch of medical books. I closed the room door and walked around the corner. I opened another door to my left and it lead to a small bathroom. I closed the door and continued on opening one door that lead to yet another storage room. I walked down the last hall and opened the last door on my left. It was large empty room, a few paint cans laying about, plastic tarp on the carpeted floor. I closed the room and decided to go into the gym.
Since I can’t get out of here, may as well work on gaining my old self back.
I don’t know how long I’ve been working out but I felt sore, and winded when someone yelled. I looked up and seen someone running and stopping as soon as they saw me. He turned yelled and turned back to me. The guy looked annoyed. I put the weight down and decided to go met him. By then two more people ran up next to the first guy.
“There you are, Buddy,” Path smiled.
“Tsk, you didn’t lock the room before you left, did you Ash?”
“Honest mistake, Blair,” Path said, “You must be hungry, huh, Buddy? Let’s get you down to the kitchen and get you something to eat.” Path smiled holding out a hand for me to grab. I just nodding sticking my hands in the pockets of the sweatshirt. Chic and Lou parted to let me and Path through, seeing as I wasn’t going to run.
“Guess we could relax a bit, doesn’t look like he’s going to run away,” I heard Lou say.
“As long as someone watches him, it might be okay, tsk.”
I sat down at the small table in the kitchen and watched as Path put away some groceries. That must have been what they were doing. Shopping.
Path moved about the kitchen cooking something I wasn’t quite paying much attention. It seems he made most of the meals from the way he is familiar with the kitchen.
“You have fun, home alone, Buddy?” Path waved a hand in front of me. I pulled back, from shock.
“Uh... yeah?” I said not sure what was really being asked.
“Good, if you are a good boy we could let you wander the house more. Would you like that, Buddy?” Path went back to what he was doing before as he continued chatting.
“Okay,” I said a bit confused. Was anything this guy making any sense? This whole situation was strange. “Uhm...” I hesitated and Path turned to me smiling, waiting patiently. I must have waited a bit too long because his smile faltered after a few more minutes of silence. “W-when can I go outside?” I quickly said before he completely lost it. He was surprised for a moment and smiled gently, as if realizing that he was scaring me.
“After breakfast, how does that sound, Buddy?” he said soothingly. I relaxed, and nodded. He went back to what he was doing, hating myself for not asking my real question. Why were they doing this? Was it on purpose? Was it a test to see how I’ll act? Maybe if I ‘behave’ I’ll get more treatment like this? Or will they take it away and make me regret it?
This was probably the worst. Never knowing what they were thinking, feeling like I’m being conditioned. Ah, yes that’s what happened. I’m being treated like a pet, Path had mentioned that before. This must be their next step to trying to break me.
“D- where is...” I stopped talking for a moment when Path turned to me a bit. “Will the doctor come by?” I said and looked down at the table.
“Not tonight, Buddy. You’ll have me taking care of you all day,” he smiled and started fixing something.
My hands were shaking. I had them laying on the table and they were shaking, I don’t think they have stopped since I asked my first question. I tried to stop their shaking, but I wasn’t successful. A hand was placed over mine and I instinctively pulled my hands away.
“Buddy, breakfast,” Path said sternly, he must have said it a few times. I really need to focus, I need to keep myself actively listening to them, watching them. I looked at the plate before me and seen it was pancakes with fruit and syrup. Talk about sugar overload. I really don’t care for sweets but it seems they are forcing it on me. Or was it Path forcing it on me? Should I voice out my distaste for the sweet breakfast? Or just accept it?
“I don’t really like sugar,” I decided to voice it. Path’s physical expression was tense and trembling as if keeping his anger at bay. His fists were in a tight ball on the table, I’m unsure of where the other hand is I dared not look further than my plate. I took the fork and started eating, playing it off as unknowing said it out loud. Path laughed a bit and relaxed. I looked up at him knowing what he might be thinking but looked confused anyway.
“It’s nothing, I thought you said something,” Path smiled and went to clean up, portioning the rest of the pancakes to the others. I made a disgusted face at the sweet taste coating my mouth, I really don’t like the sweet taste. Path seems intent that I have it, the sweet smell was really distracting. It felt like it was the only thing I smelled for the past few days. Also the darkness of the room and the sudden bright lights, the new found freedom... Why were they doing this? My mind felt fuzzy, was this some sort of tactic they were using to control me? I sighed and tried to finish the plate of pancakes.
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