Nick: You look better.

Alec's chest felt like a rock was sitting on it. It was like he couldn't breathe. He slipped his phone back into his pocket without answering and left the classroom without a word, heading to the one down the hall. He felt like he was going crazy. Nick had rejected his attempt at rekindling their relationship. But now that Alec was going mad, he was interested again.

He knew he couldn't keep going on like that. He had to talk to someone. He needed someone to help him figure out what was going on. To help him answer all the unanswered questions. Like why Nick didn't tell him? Why did he drift away? Is he in love with him? All the questions ran in a loop in his mind day after day.

He couldn't talk to Kyle about it, though. He felt like he wouldn't understand. He would think it was a joke or something.

Alec arrived at the door of Lukas' class and popped his head inside. The classroom was almost full, but classes hadn't started yet. He assumed the teacher was running late. He looked around and noticed Charlie, but he was alone.

"Alec?" Charlie looked up when he saw Alec went over to him. "What are you doing here?"

"I was looking for Lukas."

"He didn't show up today."

Alec nodded and sighed as he ran his hand through his hair.

"Why are you looking for Lukas?" Charlie asked.

"I don't know." Alec shook his head.

He didn't even know why he was there. He thought, for some reason, Lukas could help. But now that he wasn't there, he didn't know what to do.

"Is there something I can do to help?"

Alec glanced at Charlie. They never really talked before. They only ever greeted each other. That was it. But he knew he was Lukas' best friend and that he was gay. Or at least that's what the rumors were saying.

"Maybe."

Alec bit his lip. He didn't know how helpful Charlie could be, though. There was still that slight impression that Charlie didn't like him.

"Do you want to go somewhere?"

Alec stared at him and finally nodded. He could at least try with Charlie. They walked out of the classroom and headed to an empty one a little further down the hall. Alec locked the door behind them and went to sit on a desk. Charlie followed, sitting on the desk in front of him.

They sat in silence. Alec didn't know how to start at first. He just stared at the floor, biting his lip, trying to come up with words to say. Charlie waited patiently, not saying a word.

"Um..." Alec looked up. "You're gay, right?"

"Yes?" Alec could tell that Charlie had his guard up. As if preparing to retaliate if he said the wrong thing.

"Sorry. I didn't mean anything by it. I just thought that since you're gay, you might be able to help me understand something."

"Okay." Charlie softened a bit, and that made Alec feel better. "What's going on?"

"So me and this guy grew up together. Our parents are friends from way back, and they literally built their houses on the same land."

"Aw. That's really cool."

"Yeah. Well, so, me and him were inseparable as kids. So much that our dads built a porch that goes from my bedroom to his, we would always be together. Even at night. We would take turns sneaking into each other's room."

"Sounds like you guys are really close." Charlie had a smile, and it felt sincere.

"We were. We went to the same schools. We went home together. We never went anywhere without the other. He was always there for every single one of my soccer games." Alec smiled as he remembered how good the past was, but then he lowered his head. "But once we entered high school... he became distant. To the point where we completely stopped talking."

"Do you know why?"

"No." Alec shook his head. "It always bugged me. I mean, he was my best friend. I never really felt like myself unless I was with him." Alec felt his chest tighten. "I tried getting him to open up to me again. To go back to the way things were, but he told me he couldn't."

"He said he couldn't?"

"Yeah. And then..." Alec stopped. "Um..."

"It's okay, Alec." Charlie placed his hand on his knee. "You can tell me. I won't say anything."

Alec looked up at Charlie. There was nothing in his face that told him he was lying. He seemed trustworthy, just like Lukas.

"Last week... I was on the balcony, and I heard something coming from his room. So I went to check on him and..." Alec paused again and took a deep breath. "I found him masturbating with a dildo while crying out my name. And ever since then, whenever I close my eyes, I can't help but picture him naked crying out to me."

Charlie's eyes widened, and he pulled back slightly.

"Oh. Wow."

"Yeah." Alec nodded. "I've been super confused, and I don't know what to do." Charlie was silent, and it made Alec worried. "Please say something."

"Um..." Charlie seemed speechless for a moment. As if he was trying to process the new information. After a while, he cleared his throat. "First, does this change anything for you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, do you still want to reconnect with him?"

Alec stared at Charlie. He hadn't thought about that. He was so concentrated on what he saw and the fact that he couldn't sleep that he didn't think about anything else.

"No. It doesn't change anything. I still want him in my life."

"That's good." Charlie smiled. "I'm glad to hear that."

"Do you think you can help me?"

"I think so." Charlie got up from his seat and came to sit next to him. "First, if you didn't already know it, your friend is in love with you. I think that's why he drifted in the first place."

"You think so?"

"Definitely." Charlie nodded. "I'm sure he was scared that if you knew, you would react badly. So he kept his distance to make sure that that would never happen."

"That's stupid. He's my best friend. I would never do that."

"That's great that you're saying that, but put yourself in his shoes. He finds out not only is he gay, but he also has feelings for his best friend. How would you feel?"

"Right." Alec looked down. "I never thought about that."

Alec started to wonder when Nick discovered he was in love with him. Was it when they got to high school, or was it sooner?

"I think you should tell him that you don't care. You should tell him that you know and that you still accept him."

"Do you think it'll help?"

"It should."

That was going to be easy. Gay or not, Nick was still important to him. If he needed to tell him that none of it mattered to him to get him back, then he would.

"And what about the other part?"

"The part about you having erotic dreams about him?"

"Yeah." Alec nodded.

Alec suddenly felt like a pervert. He couldn't believe all of the things he imagined Nick doing. Or the things he was doing to him.

"Does it bother you?"

"I don't know. Maybe." Alec bit his lip. "I never thought of him in that way."

"Does it bother you because you never thought about your best friend sexually, or does it bother you that you're aroused by it?"

"Both, I guess." Alec scratched his head. "I don't know. This is all so confusing."

It was why he wanted to talk to someone. No matter how many times he tried to process everything, he was just confused at the end.

"Okay. I think you need to have a proper talk with him first and then sort out how you actually feel about him after. Cause to me, it sounds like you care about him a lot more than just as a friend."

Alec looked at Charlie. He was a lot more helpful than he had expected.

"Thanks, Charlie."

"No problem." Charlie smiled. They both got up and went to the door. "Hey. No matter what happens, I'm sure you guys will be fine. The bond you guys have can't disappear just like that. I should know. I've known Lukas my whole life, and nothing has ever come between us."

Alec felt relieved in knowing that. It gave him hope that there was a way for him and Nick to fix things or be on speaking terms.