Third Month of Winter

Third Era, Year 327

But Ardan never said anything to Caol about what he had learned. It didn't seem like a friendly gesture to admit he'd learned a very intimate detail about Caol's life through the gossip of castle servants.

As the months passed, Caol continued to dismiss various suggestions made by the court about who he should wed. He remained stubbornly unmarried and offered no solution to the question of who his heir would be if he never fathered one himself. Ardan gave up on passing on the arguments of the court and simply warned him of offers to come.

The Day of Durasyan only increased the court's pressures. It was a day of feasting and prayer to the God of Love, a way to keep marriages from failing, especially, at least in Ryal, that of the king and queen. Ardan watched with concern as Caol drank every alcoholic beverage he could get, especially after numerous women were introduced to him. He limited his own drinking so he could be sure to keep Caol from doing anything foolish.

Like walk himself to his room, which he tried to do at the end of the feast.

"Let me help you," Ardan insisted.

Caol mumbled something as he moved toward the door and Ardan hurried to catch up with his stumbling friend before he fell on his face.

"I'm fine," Caol insisted as Ardan carefully guided him through the doorway.

"I'm still going to help," Ardan replied, putting an arm around Caol's waist to keep him steady as soon as they were in the dark corridor.

It did seem that Caol was fine as long as he didn't hurry, which suited Ardan well enough. He felt mildly intoxicated himself, but not enough to make them both look like bumbling drunkards. When they reached Caol's room, Ardan opened the door and finally released the prince. With a wave of his hand, Ardan lit the candles around the room.

"Will you be all right tonight?" he asked, and was startled when he turned to find Caol standing very close to him.

"I might be better if you stayed," Caol replied, his voice clear and unaffected by the alcohol.

"I can do that," Ardan replied, glancing toward the cushioned bench beneath the window. It was probably comfortable enough. It would be wise to stay with Caol just to make sure he didn't hurt himself if he got up in the middle of the night. Why had he never thought of that before?

"Do you understand what I'm asking?" Caol asked softly. He was suddenly much closer, and he reached up a hand to touch Ardan's cheek. "I haven't had a lover since you came here. Once I saw you I only wanted you. I've always found you so fascinating with your magic and your red eyes."

The touch of Caol's hand and the tone of his voice was enough to pull Ardan's attention far from the bench seat. He surprised himself when he leaned into Caol's touch, wanting suddenly to be closer to him. After months of wondering, he finally realized that this was what he wanted.

Caol leaned in even closer. "I want you to stay as my lover tonight, if you will have me."

It was Ardan who pressed their lips together and pulled Caol closer still.

Ardan woke before dawn feeling utterly content for the first time in a long time. Then he became aware of someone snoring softly beside him and the memories of the night before flashed through his mind.

And he panicked.

It took incredible self control to ease himself out of bed when all he wanted to do was run. But that would surely wake Caol and he couldn't face him now. He was too ashamed. He'd utterly taken advantage of their friendship and Caol's drunkenness. What was Caol going to think of him now?

He wasn't going to wait and find out. As soon as he was dressed once more in his red robe he headed to the door. Opening it just a crack, he checked for guards and found one at the end of the hallway.

There was no way to make himself invisible, so he directed a flash of red magic at the painting hanging at the end of the hall. It fell to the floor with a crash just loud enough to get the guard's attention. As soon as the guard turned away, he slipped out the door. He felt bad about possibly ruining the painting, but he'd probably be asked to repair it anyway, if it was valued highly enough.

He didn't breathe easily until he was out of the royal wing. At least now, if anyone saw him, they wouldn't know where he was coming from. They'd just assume he'd been caught up in the Durasyan's Night fever like everyone else. Which he apparently had been.

Remembering the conversation he'd heard in the kitchen all those months ago, he chose to lay down for a while after he returned to his own rooms. Not that he could sleep with the shame and fear consuming him.

What had he done?

Ardan spent the entire day avoiding Caol, which involved taking different paths through the castle whenever the prince appeared in the hallway before him, which made him late for multiple meetings. Luckily he wasn't late for a consultation with King Leigh about a building project in the city. That would have been an even greater nightmare than the one he was living.

He was relieved when he made it back to his rooms that night without having seen Caol since the evening meal. He shut the door and waved his hand to light the candles, then nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw Caol sitting in the chair beside the hearth.

"Gods curse you, Caol!" he practically screamed, all the emotions of the day mixed with being plain pissed off to find him lurking in his dark room.

"I'm sorry," Caol replied, actually looking rather sheepish. "I should have thought this through."

Ardan sighed and tried to get control of himself. "Do you need something?"

Caol shifted uncomfortably in the chair. "I just wanted to talk to you."

Here it was, he was going to tell Ardan how little he thought of him now, that Ardan had better just keep to being a court sorcerer, not his friend. Ardan mentally braced himself.

"Do you regret last night?"

That was a surprising question. He ran a hand through his hair as he tried to think of the best thing to say. "I regret that I took advantage of our friendship and your mental state to find out what it was like to be your lover."

Caol snorted. "Well, I feel that I took advantage of our difference in rank. I made you think you had to... do what we did."

"Is that how you feel with the servants, too?"

Caol shot him a dark look. "I only make the offer once I'm absolutely sure they are genuinely interested. If someone doesn't first respond to my flirting I don't press. I never force anyone. But I never did that with you. I was too afraid of chasing you away. I meant it when I said I have only been interested in you since I met you. That hasn't changed. Or, rather, that's gotten even more true since last night."

Ardan wasn't certain what to think as Caol finished speaking. "What do you want of me?" he finally asked.

"What I don't want is for this awkwardness between us to continue," Caol answered quietly. "What I truly want is for us to be closer, to have other nights like last night. Frequently, if possible. But I'm not going to impose. If you wouldn't want that, stay my friend. Gods know I don't have many of them."

Ardan thought it over, allowing the memories of the previous night to return from the place where he had locked them that morning. Gods, he wanted more of that, he realized.

Caol was watching him, his expression unreadable. Finally, Ardan whispered, "Come here."

Though he didn't exactly hesitate, Caol stood and crossed the room cautiously. He stopped too far from Ardan, and Ardan closed the distance. He pulled Caol into a firm kiss and felt the relief wash over Caol. A seed of doubt planted itself in his mind, reminding him that what he was doing would give Caol even more reason not to be married, but he pushed that thought away. For now he would allow himself to be happy.