In the weeks that followed, both Barry and Caitlin had a lot of adjusting to do.
Caitlin stopped returning to S.T.A.R. Labs and Barry asked Singh if he could take an indefinite leave of absence. The Captain had agreed, almost eerily uttering the phrase, "Whatever makes you happy, Allen."
With nothing to distract them, they soon set to work unpacking and decorating their new home. It was a challenge at first, merging both of their styles and learning to work with each other in a new and unfamiliar setting.
Despite the bumps along the way, they made it work (as they always did).
What took the most getting used to was their difference in cleaning habits. Caitlin was a very organized person, she liked to keep all her things in order, regardless of the setting. Barry on the other hand...didn't. Now, that wasn't to say that he couldn't be organized. Caitlin knew he could be from watching him work, his job required him to do so. At home was another story entirely. He would often let things pile up in various corners and chairs in such a way that would make Caitlin's eye twitch.
Thankfully though, he was pretty good at realizing when it was getting to be too much and would promptly speed clean it. It was satisfying, Caitlin had found, watching it all vanish away.
By the time two weeks elapsed, they finally had their house "just right," as Barry had put it, in an unnecessarily high pitched 'Goldilocks' voice.
They had arranged and rearranged until they found a configuration that they could agree on. Caitlin added a few chairs and glass coffee table to the living room, and Barry hung enough pictures to fill a photo album. He even managed to go steal their favorite group photo from the lab.
The bedrooms and kitchen came much easier. The bedrooms, because they each had their own, and the kitchen, because it already came with appliances. All that was left after that was to go on a grocery run and get enough plates and glasses for two.
When they were satisfied with the house, they moved on to the backyard.
It was decently sized and rectangular, a latticed wooden fence cropping it out neatly. The grass and weeds were thick and unkempt, but otherwise, the space was in good condition. It took a little work, but eventually, they got it all trimmed down to a manageable level.
Caitlin made soil beds and planted a pretty sizable garden. It was comprised of mostly flowers, like daisies and roses (Barry even managed to convince her to plant Chionodoxa, though he insisted on calling them Glory of the Snow) but there were also vegetables, as well as a few strawberry bushes sprinkled here and there.
While she did that, Barry had set to work adding his own flair to their little outdoor space. By the time he was done, there was an intricate stone path that stretched from the backdoor to a small patio area with a fire pit. He had also stretched a hammock between two of the trees nestled in the corner of the yard. Because, according to him, hammocks were awesome.
When it was all said and done, Caitlin had smiled contently as she looked over all their hard work. It was home now, it was cozy, it was theirs.
One might think it would be smooth sailing from then on. After all, they were settled in and pretty successfully separated from any painful reminders of the world they left behind. Caitlin found herself a new job at a local clinic, and Barry began teaching forensic and criminology courses at the Central City University.
Everything had gone as planned, better than planned, actually. But of course, even in a world as unsettlingly perfect as the Speed Force, problems still arose.
It had started small; a fitful night's rest here, or a bad dream there. It wasn't anything that Caitlin wasn't accustomed to. She had started having nightmares after the Particle Accelerator and had never really stopped having them. Yet there was something more pronounced about the dreams she was having now, they were becoming more frequent and increasingly darker in nature.
It all came to a head when Caitlin awoke one night with her heart hammering in her chest, images of her bloody and dead loved ones still imprinted behind her eyes. She sat straight up as the sounding of screaming filled her ears, frost instinctively flaring in her palms.
It took her a moment to realize the screams were her own.
A sudden gust of wind and a flash of orange lightning filled the room. Caitlin felt the panic in her chest ease up a little, the ice in her veins melting away.
Barry's pajama-clad form appeared in her field of vision, his posture defensive and ready to pounce upon whatever silent intruder had invaded their home. However, upon realizing there was absolutely no one and nothing there, he quickly moved to Caitlin's bedside and knelt down.
"Caitlin, what's wrong? What happened?" He questioned frantically, his worried features catching her eye in the low light.
"It's fine. Everything's fine. It was just a dream," she explained a little breathlessly, her hand reaching out to clutch his in the dark.
He was there, he was solid, he was real. She had to keep reminding herself of that.
Before she could talk herself out of it, she quickly leaned forward and pulled Barry close. He didn't seem too surprised by the suddenness of it, and reciprocated, his arms snaking around her abdomen and holding her tightly. She buried her face in the crook of his neck and didn't let go until the visions of his blood-stained and broken body disappeared from her mind.
Eventually, they moved apart, though Barry still kept a firm and grounding hold on her hand.
"I'm sorry for waking you up," she apologized, running her free hand through her messy auburn hair.
Her heart still thundered in her ears, but she was calmer now, the previous adrenaline beginning to drain from her system.
"You don't have to be sorry," Barry replied softly, "you're the one that was having the nightmare. A pretty bad one, it seems like."
"How long has this been going on?" Barry inquired in a low and soothing kind of way.
Caitlin breathed in slowly, shifting slightly beneath the covers.
"Years," she admitted, her tone matching his. "But it hasn't been this bad in a long time."
Barry nodded wordlessly, an understanding spreading across his features.
"I'm sorry," Caitlin repeated, shaking her head at how silly she now felt. "It's fine, really. You can go back to bed if you want."
Barry took a moment to consider her words. "I could, but I could also stay for a bit," he offered intuitively. "If you want me to, that is."
Caitlin didn't answer for the span of about ten seconds, internally debating whether or not she wanted to put up a facade and tell him everything was fine. In the end, she determined she was too tired for it.
"Would you?" Caitlin asked anxiously, the clammy hands of apprehension taking hold upon her.
"Of course," Barry gave her an assuring smile, instantly putting her at ease.
He then stood from where he had been kneeling and looked as though he was debating whether or not to lay on top of the covers. Without saying a word, Caitlin reached forward and peeled them back, scooting over a little to make room for him. Barry climbed in beside her, the mattress dipping a little from the added weight.
After that night, it became a bit of a norm for them. Whenever Caitlin would have a bad nightmare, Barry would always be there, ready to stay for however long she needed him too. Then, after a while, she began to seek him out. On the rare occasions she managed to not wake him up, she would groggily make her to his room and sleep there for the remainder of the night.
It helped. It always helped. On the nights that Barry was with her, she wouldn't have a single nightmare. She would sleep soundly and wake up feeling refreshed.
On the nights that he wasn't, however, were a different story entirely. As soon as she would drift off, she'd begin to dream, tossing and turning restlessly. Then, in the morning, she would stumble out of bed, feeling as though all the energy had been zapped from her body.
Barry seemed to take note of this because eventually, he offered to simply let her move into his room; or move into hers, whichever she preferred. Caitlin had thanked him for the gesture and declined, not wanting to encroach upon his privacy or space any more than she already had.
He seemed to pick up on that too, immediately assuring her that she wasn't intruding and he didn't mind. She remained adamant though, but, then again, so did he. He continued to make her the offer whenever the subject arose and she continued to refuse it.
She walked by his room one day and paused, realizing he had subtly moved his bed and most of his stuff to one side of the room. She had just smiled softly and kept walking, thinking about how much she didn't deserve a friend like him.
It took two months of a hit and miss sleep pattern for her to finally cave.
One morning, she awoke after a particularly fitful night, feeling as though her legs and her limbs were weights. Nevertheless, she got dressed and ready for work, determined not to let her current state of exhaustion get the best of her. And she was exhausted, more so than she'd ever felt. Even long overnighters back in her college days hadn't ever left her feeling thisdrained.
Later that day, Caitlin caught herself nodding off on the toilet (ON THE TOILET) only to immediately jolt back awake. It was then that she decided she'd had enough, she couldn't keep doing this. She had already tried melatonin supplements and just about every other treatment she would've normally prescribed to a patient, and nothing had worked.
Well, that wasn't true, there was one thing she knew worked.
Caitlin took the rest of the day off, doing her best to ignore the head manager's bright "whatever makes you happy, Dr. Snow!"
She arrived home long before Barry did, and promptly began moving her things to the empty side of his room. By the time he did get back from his long day of teaching, she had everything relocated except her bed. In fact, she was in the process of moving it when he appeared with a whoosh, still clad in the tweed jacket he had taken to wearing. He was surprised for only a moment, then immediately jumped in and began to help her. An almost relived smile rested on his lips the entire time.
When they were finished, Barry insisted she lay down and take a nap, probably because of the very obvious dark circles under her eyes. She didn't require much persuading at that point and soon found her head resting atop a pillow. Barry draped a blanket over her and sat down, his hand running calming circles along the side of her leg.
Later that evening, when they both went to bed and told each other goodnight from across the room, Caitlin drifted off peacefully and slept better than she had the entirety of the time she'd been in the Speed Force.
After that, her nightmares were few and far between, and when she did have them Barry was never more than an arms-length away.
She later learned that he sometimes got them as well. They were rare and not nearly as bad as the ones she'd been having, but he certainly wasn't immune to them. He would roll and jerk in his sleep, sometimes making pained noises or calling out the names of friends and family members long gone.
Caitlin would always slip out of bed and pad across the room, gently waking him from whatever traumatizing experience he was reliving. Afterward, she'd lay down next to him and drape her arm over his side, her head resting on the back of his shoulder, and whisper reassuring words that he had often said to her.
They both had their fair share of restless nights, but thankfully, one of them was always close by, ready to chase the other's bad dreams away.
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