I had seen him cook the sweet food, but now that I thought more on it, it did taste a bit different. The spicy food burned now, I had to take extra time to finish it or just plainly refused to eat it. Path would often feed me the food or try and force feed me. He took his time, possibly knowing that I had grown used to the sweetness of the food. I sighed when the food was finished and I was finally able to rest properly, my injuries now nearly fully healed. Only a few days until the doctor gives her final approval that I am ready for another beating.
“...d and I can finally bring her to you for your approval. I really know you’ll like her. She’s a sweet young thing, often skittish, cute scared face. Unlike your attractive one,” Path leaned forward and I smelled the sweet scent on him. It nearly made me gag, pulling away from him until he caught my wrist in a tight grip. I flinched and his grip loosened a small bit he pulled me back towards him. “What’s wrong, Buddy?” he whispered kissing my wrist. He had made a habit of kissing the wounds he inflicted no matter if they were old or not.
“I’m tired,” I simply said and he frowned. It wasn’t a mad one that he used when I disobeyed, this was fake. It somehow made me relax. I hated it. What was happening?
“Alright, you’ll see her soon anyways love.” with that he left taking the empty plate with him. The room was a mix of spice and sweetness. It made my head ache. Why was this happening? Some sort of torture they were trying?
So many questions. I’m getting tired of thinking of it all. Would it really be better if I don’t think about it? Just give up and allow it to happen? Or would that be part of them breaking me? Haven’t I done this also? To Coale, I restricted him so much gave him the best and looked after his needs. I also played with his emotions faking sadness, had he known that I was like that and yet he still stayed? Had I got tired of him like Path gets tired of his new found toys? I sighed and tried to fight these thoughts back but the silence in the room was overbearing. I found it much easier to sleep recently, I’m not sure how. Maybe it was because of these people were like me? Play with people and throw them away when they get boring or serve no use to me anymore.
Wouldn’t be the first time I had done it either.
Wouldn’t be my first victim.
Who was my first victim again? It’s been so long, I almost forgot. Actually I haven’t paid much attention to my victims, they were just there for the sake of being there. Maybe there was another part of me that does remember? My only current victim I knew was Coale and I don’t even know if he is alive or not. I didn’t really care that much to begin with.
Ah, their absence is making coming back better. They make it seem like they are their all the time, watching me but recently... they were not there. Was this part of their process of keeping me entertaining? Can’t really blame them, they are patient. Especially Path who was never the patient one to begin with. Had he matured? Is that how we’ll call it?
Their plan is to break me, so far I’ve been putting up a great fight for who knows how long. Maybe a year for all I know. Maybe the ‘Going out’ is a test to see how broken I’ve become? I have a secret phrase if things aren’t well or if I need help. Brooklyn Frost suggested it in case something happens to either of them. The kid was new and always hung around me when I worked. Pretty annoying but has good ideas, it’s no wonder why I let him hang around. So easy.
Unless he was the one being manipulative. I feel like I’m starting to get paranoid, what are they doing to me? I never had these kinds of thoughts, never cared, never bothered to, why now? The affection? Their gentle care? The pain they bring? How we are alike?
I forced my body to relax, forced my mind to stop thinking, forced myself to listen for sounds, and forced my eyes shut, and evened out my breathing. I will not think of this, I will focus on my own well being.
I sighed and opened my eyes to a spicy smell, the scent was a shock to me as I looked at the large man holding out the food for me. I sat up and seen it was nothing but pepper. My poor system. I took the food and ate in silence. This guy I forgot who was who again, since they didn’t say anything. It could be Lou, or it could be Chic.
“Always so indifferent, tsk.” Hooray. Wait, I didn’t dream last night. Past few nights I hardly dreamed. Was that... normal? Did it happen often or... was it because I’m expecting physical pain in the next few days?
I never told them about my dreams... have I? Most days it feels like I’m treading water, others I’m surrounded by darkness... what was today like?
“Let’s go, tsk.” I had finished my food without realizing, the spice bringing my sense back and I was lead upstairs. Wait... Chic is being... gentle? This was terrifying... what was happening? The scariest guy being gentle, the gentlest guy being scary... what was Lou? Where was Lou? Where was Path? I’m alone with this ticking time bomb, how was I not bothered by this sooner? We sat in silence as we watched a drama. I think I was too afraid to move, I tried my luck and brought my knees to my chest and rested my chin on them my hands loosely around my feet. Chic stood and walked away, well... this was... different? This must be the calm before the storm. I sighed relaxing in the calming waters, knowing full well that it could drown me soon.
Suddenly I was pulled under, shocked I struggled. I heard laughter as I fell off the couch in my struggle. When I broke the surface I realized a blanket was thrown over me when I was thinking.
“That was not funny!” I snapped and stood. Chic remained laughing as he sat down on the couch. I also sat down wrapping the blanket around myself. The occasional chuckle every now and then, this really was different. I never heard Chic laugh, or seen him smile. This was... refreshing? Never thought I was walking on eggshells when he was around, the others also. They had somehow made me relax around them while being distant.
Was that it?
The shock sunk in, Chic gave me a blanket. I wasn’t cold, I wasn’t sad, he just got up and brought me a blanket. Chic is very confusing right now. Was this part of their plan to break me? Or was my view on him that demented? Are they actually making me care about them? I laughed.
“Tsk, what is it?” Chic said as he sat quiet for a long while not sure when he stopped his snickers.
“I fell off the couch,” I covered giving a small laugh.
“Tsk, you should have seen it from my end,” Chic laughed. I decided to go along with it and laugh, pretty soon his laugh was contagious and I started to really laugh. I had somehow rested my head on his lap and his body was hunched over mine as we continued our laughing fit. I was still wrapped up and when we calmed down was stayed like that for who knows how long. I almost felt comfortable, almost because Chic’s head was on my hip, his arm around me one from the front and one from the back. I could feel half his weight as we watched t.v like that. I still felt uneasy having this guy this close to me, actually, he’s the only one I let this close. Path was close but not physically close like this, would it be bad if I played favourites? They saw that I liked Path better, I know I made that obvious. Maybe this is how I can play with them, have them fight each other on who gets to be around me more. It could work. Path would obviously get jealous since I was always distant with Chic. Yes. It could work. Path would take out Chic and then I can move on to Lou, then the doctor. I’ll let Path do the dirty work!
But first... I need to actually let this guy get closer to me, how can I do that? What signs would work best that I’m getting attached to him? Maybe relax my body and shift a bit to be more comfortable? I’ll give that a try... hopefully he doesn’t move away.
Shifting my body a bit actually made me feel better, I fully relaxed and gave a small sigh. What I wasn’t planning on was falling asleep like that.
Bold, red lettering spelling out [S U R P R I S E] and under that was red bold arrow pointing to the curtain of the bathtub. The water was steaming still a body laid in it. The mans wrists were sliced open the body was relaxed, only thing that wasn’t relaxed was the face, mouth gaped open, eyes forced to be wide as the eyelids were missing and tears of blood ran down his cheeks. Then something non-explainable happened. The man turned his face towards him and screamed loudly.
I jumped hearing screaming.
“Ah, hot waters ready,” Path’s voice sounded from the kitchen. I forced myself to relax, it has been quite awhile to have a dream like that. I shuddered and looked at my position on the couch. I was alone. Chic must be either in the kitchen or went to sleep. I sat up fully and looked at the t.v. my reflection showed that I was still sleepy, but more relaxed it seems. I wrapped the blanket around myself tighter, finding comfort in the warmth it gave and the artificial hug it had around me. It has really been a long time since I needed actual comfort from anyone, was that why I felt relaxed? When Chic was here?
I shouldn’t think on it, I’m suppose to be using them.
A cup was placed on the coffee table and I automatically said “Chic? Ah, sorry, wrong one...” I said when it was Path.
“My name is Blair, but I guess you can call me Chic, tsk.” Chic’s voice was behind Path.
“You two looked cozy on the couch snuggled up together, Buddy. Something good happen while I was out?” Path said sitting beside me keeping his distance. “Also he does sound like he’s saying that a lot, guess we never properly introduced ourselves, hm? I’m Ash, but feel free to call me whatever nickname you have for me.”
“Path,” I said, it felt refreshing saying their nickname out loud. Path only smiled.
“The other one is Sage, he’s resting right now,” Path said.
“Lou,” I said.
“So we all just have small simple names to you, huh?” Path laughed. “Dr. Gentry Suffer is the one that comes to check on your wounds.” he added.
“Doctor,” I simply said and took a sip of the tea.
“Tsk, why the names?” Chic or actually Blair asked.
“He needs to know us as well,” Path or Ash said. This might take some getting used to.
“I would have been fine with being unnamed,” Blair said.
“Considering you corrected him your name first? You two kiss or something,” Ash teased the other man. It actually felt better knowing their real names. Like I don’t feel a real connection with them anymore. That might have been a step back for them but for me it’s two or five steps forward, it was perfect. Ash and Blair started bickering about whatever it was they were bickering about, I hardly paid much attention as I sipped the tea. It was deliciously bitter. Not overwhelmingly sweet, not sure you can make tea spicy but it could be possible with the right ingredients and not pepper. The bitterness was also refreshing, never cared for taste of things, never really had a preference anymore ever since Timber died...
I took one last sip of the tea freeing my hands once more by placing the cup on the coffee table and leaning back towards the couch. That dream, now that I’m really thinking about it... what did it mean? When I got home nothing was right. Someone went into my home and killed the servant of Eclipse and Eclipse herself. Wonder where the rats came in back then. My poor kitty...
I hugged my knees to my chest, I felt something rearing its head in my heart. I had hoped to kill that thing but its an annoyance that never seems to leave. The thing started squeezing my heart practically trying to force it to stop beating. I miss my lovely kitty, I miss Timber, I’m beginning to miss my mom, why are these so annoying? They get in the way of everything.
I felt something to my sides only now coming back to the present.
“...s it a nightmare, Buddy?” Ash asked, gently rubbing my head, at least I think it was him rubbing my head and not my back. I think I’ll choose not to talk to them, it meant getting attached to them and I don’t think I can afford that again. Once was enough, wasn’t it? Either that, or I still haven’t learned my fucking lesson. Human connections are a hindrance, nothing to gain from them unless for your own pleasure or favour collections.
I felt myself being pulled up and lead somewhere, I’m not sure where, maybe the basement didn’t really care to look since there was limited space and places to go in this damn building. I know I was silently instructed to lay down if the small push down was anything to go by so I did, and was left alone. I think. Sighing softly figuring that maybe more rest was needed, maybe anxious about the beating I’ll be receiving. Yay.
I woke up to the feeling of warmth, it was always cold in the basement no matter how many blankets I had. The comfortable temperature was inviting, hardly containing myself I shuffled closer to the source. It was a few moments that I recognized the heat, it was Blair. There’s no way I could mistake it, opening my eyes, sure enough there was the male himself sleeping. What he was doing I wasn’t sure, don’t think I bothered to care either. He was warm. Sighing I started to drift again, I still wasn’t sure what had happened, but I was sure that Ash narcotized my drink like he always did with my food.
The room was dark when he walked in, something rubbed up against his leg. Eclipse, she was being annoying again today as well. It’s been days after the funeral, notes on his door complaining about the smell in his room. He walked to the kitchen and saw nothing in the cupboards or fridge. It was barren of food. He didn’t feel like eating anything really. He was just bored and looked for something to do, the bedroom for a rest seemed like a good place to start. He walked in the room and laid down.
Rest evaded him since the stupid cat was being so fucking noisy. He sat up and looked at the furball at his feet. The thing was watching him, it’s fur hung of it occasionally and the skin sticking to that skeleton. He smirked at it and gently rubbed its head, it gave a soft purr but then it coughed. “I guess in order to feel alive again, I’ll have to ‘look’ after you properly.” the man partly growled and got up to get something edible for the cat. “I’ll be back with food,” he said setting a bowl of water down and after walked out.
I was shook awake by something, or someone. Opening my eyes I looked up at some guy wondering why I was being rudely awaken. “What?” I complained and tried to rest some more.
“For someone having a nightmare you don’t seem to mind it...” Blair said a bit baffled. I scoffed and looked at the room I was in. Some weights were laid about with some books a desk, a stereo. Just a normal room.
Wait... why was Chic here?
I turned and looked at him he was still staring at me.
“What?” I asked annoyed still.
“Hm,” Blair hummed and leaned down laying on top of me, I wasn’t bothered by it it was just surprising. Half his body was on me like he was some giant cat wanting attention.
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