She sat on the roof of her house, one among the endless ones in front of her. The street lamps were shutting off one by one. Her hands felt cold against the moisture-filled bricks of the roof, the rough surface causing imprints on her palms. There was a light breeze carrying the smell of wet summer rain and daisy flowers. It was silent except the distant singing of the grasshoppers. The sky had started to turn lighter with hues of orange, yellow and a distance purple, the sun peaked out slowly rising up as it would every day, its light illuminating her limited vision, blanketing over the rows of rooftops, then the street in front of her house, it climbed up the walls of her house and sneaked on top of the roof. It glided over her legs, her arms and her face. She basked in warm light, sneaking a look at the stack of papers sitting beside her, the report. She had decided to burn it, she had decided that a while ago, but she needed them to do something else first. 

Picking up the papers she examined her name written in messy handwriting on the front page, Audrey Hestine. This was her report, it dictated her life. She was starting to hate her name. 

Soon, she thought. Soon it would turn into a pile of ash on the floor.

She sat there for another hour, bathing in the sunlight, she wished she could stay there forever, she couldn’t. She jumped down the roof, landing on her balcony with a soft thud. She walked into her room, tied her hair up changed into a t-shirt and a pair of pants. She headed down to the kitchen, where her parents were. The room was filled in a choking silence, they started at each other, her parents’ breakfasts got colder. Ten seconds, twenty seconds, thirty seconds. Audrey left the house heading to the bus stop.

Audrey got off the bus as it stopped, the weather was good today, the wind carried the sounds of mindless chatter and laughter. The hallways of her school were full as usual, students pushing around like tidal waves, chattering like seagulls and the intense smell of sweat coming from the jocks in jerseys smelling like an actual fish market. Audrey avoided them as she reached her locker, placing her belongings into it. 

Hannah and Audrey had known each other for years, childhood friends from grade school all the way till now. Hannah was the type of person that Audrey had looked up to a lot, despite being the same age it often felt like Hannah was the older sister Audrey never had. 

“Looking good,” Hannah commented looking up from her phone as Audrey took a seat beside her. “Thanks,” Audrey replied with a small smile tugging at her lips. 

It was just another Monday, she decided. 

Lunchtime arrived sooner than Audrey wanted it to, her fist clenched tightly around the stack of papers in her hands. The usually lively hallways were now empty, her gentle footsteps echoed loudly. Audrey didn’t feel hungry when she smelled the waft of food in the cafeteria, she didn’t have an appetite. Audrey sat down on the lunch table, the same lunch table her friends and she had been sitting at for the last four years. Hannah, Zahra, Erik and Mason, Audrey’s four friends. 

Erik, like Hannah, was someone she had known since childhood, they had known each other even before grade school. Erik was the reckless kid that lived across from her, they had first met when Erik had crashed his bicycle onto her causing her to fall to the floor. There were a lot of tears and apologies involved but somehow they ended becoming close friends. She met Zahra in fifth grade, she was the new student who had just transferred from Hong Kong, the only asian kid in their school. It was easy to get along with Zahra, they sympathized with each other, the only asian kid along with the only black kid, it wasn’t too hard to become friends. Zahra and Hannah got along well too, then again everyone got along with Hannah. Erik and Zahra on the other hand had their fair share of troubles but ended up becoming friends too. And the last person to join their friend group was Mason, they met him three years ago when they were sophomores and he was a freshman, Mason was one of those kids that didn’t fit in with people in his grades but instead with kids a grade lower or higher and he just happened to get along with Zahra. 

“What’s this?” Hannah asked, looking at the stack of papers Audrey had slid in front of her. 

“Just read it,” Audrey replied. Hannah turned the pages and slowly read through it, Zahra reading it over Hannah's shoulder, their eyes moved together as they slipped through the report in their hands, they then handed it over to Erik and Mason opposite them. 

“Did you harass some poor doctor to give you this fake report?” Erik asked holding the stack of papers up in his hand, his eyebrows raised in curiosity. Suddenly didn’t feel as nervous anymore. 

“He’s right this isn’t funny,” Zahra said, eyeing the medical report in Erik’s hand. 

“It’s not fake.”

“Audrey you’re taking it too far,” Hannah commented.

“I’m serious, it’s not fake.”

“Are you scared?” Mason asked. 

“Not really,” Audrey hummed, “…maybe a little.” everyone stared at her, thinking of what to say, what would you say to someone who was dying, what would you say to a walking corpse, what do you say to someone you know is going to leave. 

Mason scoffed breaking the silence, “somethings really never change huh?” Audrey wasn’t sure what he meant by that but she felt at ease. 

“So… chemo?” Zahra asked, resting her head on the table, turning her head towards Audrey her glasses were slightly crooked because of the table. 

“No, it doesn't change anything, my life expectancy stays the same. Plus there is no way I’m gonna die looking like a burnt potato, these babies are staying right where they are,“ Audrey said puffing up her hair, “which is on my head.” A round of laughter passed around the table, Audrey laughed too, there really was no point in dwelling on things that were inevitable. 

“You have a list don’t you?” Erik asked. 

“Who do you think I am?” Audrey asked with a grin, pulling out a folded piece of paper from her jeans pocket.