“Shit,” I giggle, fully drunk now. “My parents are going to kill me.”
“Shh!” Josie says as she tries to sneak me into my house.
“You shh!” I giggle.
“I’m so dead, Kat you weren’t supposed to get drunk.” Josie says.
She slowly opens the door to my house, the clock on the wall reads two in the morning. Never mind the fact that I have to be up and ready for school in just a few hours. I stumble inside and laugh when I nearly trip over the rug.
The light turns on.
“Damn,” Josie says under her breath.
“Where have you been!?” My mom demands.
“I was with Josie,” I slur.
“Hehe,” Josie laughs nervously.
“Are you drunk?” My dad says.
I stumble forward and Josie has to catch me.
“She’s just tired,” Josie says.
“We went swimming!” I laugh.
“Kat, knock it off,” Josie growls under her breath and pinches me on the side.
“Ow!” I pout.
“I’ve been calling you all day. Why even have a phone if you won’t answer it when I call!?” Mom says.
“Stop yelling,” I pout.
“You are grounded,” Dad says.
“No, you're grounded,” I mock them.
“What has gotten into you lately, why are you acting out all of a sudden?” mom says.
“My stomach hurts,” I complain.
“Oh no,” Josie quickly ushers me to the bathroom just in time for me to puke up my guts into the toilet.
She sighs in relief.
She’s seen me drunk enough to know that when I say that, I’m about to barf.
“We are so dead,” Josie sighs in defeat.
“Your fault,” I pout and lean against the toilet.
My parents come in with arms crossed and looks of disappointment on their faces.
“Josephine, I think it’s time you go home,” Dad says.
“Yes sir,” she sighs before patting my back and leaving me.
I look at my parents in worry before I lean into the toilet and barf again.
My mom just shakes her head and walks away saying, “Deal with your daughter please.”
My parents still make me go to school in the morning, as part of my punishment. I have a killer hangover. I have to wear sunglasses inside to help dull the pain.
“Ugh,” I sit at the table.
“How did it go?” Josie asks.
“Don’t ask,” I grumble and rub my temples.
“What happened to you two?” Sophie asks.
“Don’t ask, please don’t ask. My head is killing me.” I pout.
“Nice shades,” Sage comments.
“I told you to stop drinking, you didn’t listen to me.” Josie says.
“I told you we should leave, you didn’t listen to me.” I point out.
“Touché,” she shrugs.
“What happened?” Sophie pouts, wanting to know.
“We snuck into a private party yesterday, it was so fun.” Josie gushes.
“I thought you said you were at a conference with your parents,” Sage frowns.
“I was, err, I uh, that’s where the private party was.” I lie.
Josie cringes at the lie.
“Okay, what is going on between you two?” she demands.
“Nothing!” I say.
Josie frowns at me.
I kick her under the table and move my glasses just so she can see me glaring at her.
“Both of you blew me off this weekend, only to find out you both lied to me and were actually hanging out with each other. Sounds like something to me.” Sage crosses her arms.
“OMG! You two are hooking up aren’t you!” Sophie declares.
“Shh!” I hiss.
“We are,” Josie says proudly.
“Are not!” I hiss.
“It’s okay Kat, they are our friends. They should know.”
“I can’t believe you,” Sage says to me.
“I got to get to class,” I quickly get up and run away just as I see Carson approaching.
Josie gets up and chases after me.
“Hey, wait up.”
“Josie not cool!” I hiss.
“What’s the big deal?” she asks.
“I’m not ready for that okay, just back off. You didn’t like it when Ian almost outed you, stop outing me to everyone. For fucks sake,” I stomp away from her.
She frowns after me.
I so don’t need this drama right now. My hangover and my parents are enough to deal with without Josie telling everyone she sees we’ve been fucking. Just fantastic. Should have known Josie would do something like that. The girl loves attention.
“Ouch, looking a little rough there Kitty Kat,” Bryson says as I walk by.
I flip him off and take off my shades.
He laughs with his buddies.
In class, Josie keeps looking at me trying to get my attention. I ignore her. She doesn’t give up though, instead, she texts me.
‘Why are you mad at me? I thought it was the plan to come out together.’
I respond, ‘No, that was your plan! I’m just not ready for that yet.’
‘But this weekend was amazing. I thought…’
‘This weekend was awesome, but I just need some time. This is all so sudden and confusing and crazy. Please, when I am ready, I’ll tell you.’
I look up at her then and she looks up at me, a sad look on her face.
It makes me feel bad.
During class change, Carson finds me, despite my efforts to avoid him.
“Hey,” he says.
“Hey, sorry for blowing you off this weekend. I was pretty busy.” I say.
“Doing me,” Josie mutters under her breath.
I elbow her so hard she doubles over in pain.
“What?” Carson says.
“Nothing! Anyway, want to hang out tonight?” I ask.
“Sure, we can go for a walk.”
“Ugh, asshole,” Josie grunts.
“Yeah, sounds like a plan.” I smile.
“Actually I was wondering if wanted to go out with me but I guess I should wait till the weekend.” He said sheepishly.
I feel like shit.
A guilty conscience makes me feel like shit.
“or never,” Josie snarks.
“what?” Carson says.
“We can go out tonight, after school. You and me. I want to get away from my parents anyway.” I say.
“Okay,” he smiles.
“See you at lunch okay,” I peck him on the cheek.
He sneaks in a quick peck on the lips before walking off.
I sigh and stare after him.
“Break up with him already,” Josie says.
He’s such a nice guy. God, I feel like shit now. He’s so perfect, so nice. Way to go Kat, you totally fucked up your one chance to have your dream guy for Josie. I turn to Josie and eye her; she grumbles under her breath.
The magic I felt all weekend seems to have faded into nothingness. Now I’m just annoyed with her. She can be such a bitch sometimes.
“I’ll break up with him when I’m ready,” I say.
“What the fuck Kat, I thought—”
“Shh!” I pull her to the side.
“I thought you liked me.”
“I do, I just… need time to let him go. I really liked him too. He’s so sweet and nice. I’ll break up with him, just, let me figure out a way to say goodbye first okay?”
“You are unbelievable,” she pushes past me and stomps off.
I groan and bang my head on the locker before wincing in pain and rubbing my temples and walking to class.
Josie’s in a pissy mood the rest of the morning. She ignores me and huffs in protest every few minutes. On my way to lunch, Sage corners me and drags me into a room where Sophie is waiting.
“Uh, what are you doing?” I ask.
“An intervention,” Sophie says.
“Josie’s going to be waiting for us,” I point out.
“Enough of your shit Kat,” Sage says.
“Excuse you?” I say.
“Josie really, really, really likes you,” Sophie adds.
“And we all know you’re just stringing her along. Leave her alone if you are only going to hurt her.” Sage says.
“Plus cheating on Carson, not cool,” Sophie adds.
“That’s a fucked up thing to do. My last boyfriend cheated on me and let me tell you, being the one to get cheated on sucks ass.” Sage said.
“I wasn’t trying to hurt anyone!” I get defensive.
“Well, you are! As your friends, we are telling you straight up, what you are doing is wrong on so many levels.”
“You should just break up with him if you don’t like him.” Sophie says.
“It’s more complicated than that!”
“How is it more complicated?” Sage challenges.
“I’m confused! Okay, I don’t know what I want. Josie, she… she confuses me okay. I think I like her too.” I turn away from them.
“You do?” Sophie says.
“Maybe, I don’t know. I think so… this weekend with her… everything changed between us. I’m just confused and scared. I don’t know, I just need time to think okay. I’ll fix this, I will. I don’t want to hurt anyone. Not Carson and not Josie. I know what I’m doing is wrong, I just need a little more time to figure myself out. So back off.” I say.
“Josie is my friend, she told me all about how she feels about you. The longer you drag this on, the more you hurt her.” Sage says.
“I know… I just, I don’t know. my head is all jumbled up. I’ve never been more confused in my life. Coming to terms with the fact that I’m not straight isn’t easy okay. Just, leave me alone.” I pull away from them.
Sage is about to say something when Sophie stops her.
“We are here for you Kat. We still love you no matter what your sexual orientation. I know this is a stressful and confusing time in your life, but you don’t have to hide from us. We got your back, just like we are here having Josie’s back, we’ll always have your back too. That’s what friends are for. We are just trying to look out for you. What you are doing never ends well, we don’t want to see anyone get hurt, that includes you.” Sophie says.
I look at her and she smiles.
“Don’t let this drag on for too long or you’ll just end up losing both of them,” Sage warns.
“Okay, I get it. I’ll pick, I promise. Just let me figure this out, okay?”
“Okay, remember, we are here for you,” Sophie assures me.
“Thanks,” I smile.
I walk over to the lunch table where both Josie and Carson wait for me. I make a face at the scene and slowly move to sit down.
Josie glares at me before turning away.
Carson smiles at me and pecks me on the cheek.
“I waited for you,” he says.
“Thanks,” I force out.
“Just hungry,” I say.
“I can fix that, wait here.” He quickly gets up and runs off to get me food.
“Fuck off.” She snaps at me.
“Josie I’m sorry.”
“You let me believe we were in a good place, that this weekend—”
“This weekend was perfect. I’ll never forget it. That way you made me feel, the way I made you feel, that was real.” I assure her.
She looks at me then.
“I just need a little longer, please,” I beg.
Her gaze softens and she sighs.
Sage shakes her head at me but keeps her thoughts to herself.
“Okay,” Josie says.
Then she leans down and pecks me on the forehead.
I feel my cheeks heat up.
Carson comes back with my food and as I watch Carson cut my food for me, Josie holds my hand under the table, rubbing the back of it with her thumb.
What the hell am I going to do?