It’s late by the time we rouse ourselves to head out from Mel, Raj, and Noah’s house, but the trees and roads are polished with moonlight, the snowdrifts glistening. A soft golden glow emanates from the windows of the houses lining the street. Some of them have Christmas lights up, and there’s a shifting array of colored light coming from these. Violet, crimson, emerald, gold.

I stand at the window by the door, taking in the sight, waiting for Aiden. Melanie needed his help to reach something upstairs, since Raj forgot his ladder at the exhibition space. Raj is upstairs with them, insisting that he is tall enough to reach, he just needs one more try. Noah is also up there, because he thinks that watching Raj try is going to be funny.

Ripley’s mom already came to get him, so I’m alone downstairs, with the exception of Nikita.

She’s awake, bundled in my arms, her cheek resting against my chest. She was so peaceful during her extended nap on Aiden’s chest, but she’s been fussy ever since she was removed from his arms. There’s been a whole lot of crying and kicking, regardless of whether Nik was upstairs in her quiet bedroom or downstairs with all of us.

I think she’s finally tired herself out. She still looks crabby, though, sucking on her pacifier in a resentful sort of way.

She stirs suddenly against me, her tiny fists curling up, her bottom lip trembling in a perilous way. Her pacifier goes tumbling from her mouth, and she makes a noise that threatens to grow into a wail. 

“Oh, no - it’s okay, Nik!” I bounce her a little, smoothing my hand in circles on her back. “What’s the matter? Are you just in a grouchy mood? I think you are. You’ve been like this all night, let’s be honest.”

She glares up at me, and it’s a battle not to laugh. My god, can this baby scowl.

“How can you be Raj’s baby, and still manage to make such an angry face? Have you seen his face? It literally never looks like this.”

My point is lost on Nikita, who makes another, louder noise, her face screwing up.

Oh, god. Tears are imminent. I look up, casting my mind around for ideas, then turn slightly, so that Nikita can see the lights through the window. She pauses, wide-eyed, staring.

“Beautiful, right?” I ask, keeping my voice soft. And then, as snowflakes begin to drift down outside, catching the light in all its different shades - “Oh, look at that! Just for you, sprout. So that you can kick this lil’ mood you’re in.”

Nik makes another noise, but this one sounds happier than the preceding ones. I laugh quietly, and Nikita gathers up a handful of my flannel in her little fingers. We stay like that for a moment, both looking out.

Sensing someone behind me, I turn my head, and find Aiden standing there.

He’s completely motionless, looking at us with a wide-eyed, luminous gaze that picks up the reflections of the lights outside. His expression is hard to read; his eyebrows are drawn together, and the fingers of one hand are pressed over his mouth. But I see something move through the blue pools of his eyes, stirring their color like wind sweeping over a meadow.

I didn’t hear him come in, and I have no idea how long he’s been watching us. When he sees me looking back at him, he blinks and takes a deep breath, as if newly drawn out of a dream. He starts walking towards us like he’s hypnotized, his gaze unwaveringly fixed on me.

I look up at him as he comes to stand before me, questioning him with my eyes. What’s that face?

Aiden lifts a hand, gently traces his knuckles down my cheek, then drops his fingers to rest on top of mine, which are flat on Nik’s back. I feel his thumb slide over the gold band I always wear, lingering on it.

I was feeling drowsy and unwound before, but suddenly I’m completely alert again. It's as if cold raindrops just showered down over my head, renewing me, waking me up. Bringing me sharp, crystalline clarity. I’m hypersensitive to Aiden’s thumb on the ring, the heat of his hand seeping into my skin, the way his gaze rests on my face. The swift-changing color of the lights against the curve of his cheekbones, the delicate lines at the corners of his eyes.

I know that it’s a long effort for Aiden to put his thoughts into words, but still, I find myself waiting with my breath held.

Aiden knows that I’m expecting an answer to my question, and he nibbles his lip, looking down at me.

“You,” he stammers, then clears his throat. “You just, um.” He hesitates, a faint blush spreading across his cheeks. “You’re really - I just-”

He stops, presses his palms over his eyes. Out of nowhere, he’s all shy, can’t look at me. I just stand there and watch him struggle, unable to move or say anything, knee-deep in my love for him.

“I’m sorry, I'm just...” Aiden puts a hand over his heart, then gestures at me. “I’m having trouble - translating.”

“You can do it,” I tell him, still hopeful. “Come on, you’re getting so good at it!”

Aiden lets out a helpless laugh, touching his fingers to my face.

“You,” he says, “Are the one hurdle I can never seem to clear.”

I don’t know what to say to that, and before I can find a single word, Noah comes noisily down the stairs. We both turn as he steps into the living room and crosses to us. Aiden blinks hard, looking around like he’d forgotten where we are.

“There's my girl,” Noah yawns, scooping his hair up into a bun.

His piercings pick up the glow from outside as he reaches for Nikita, reflecting back its colorful brightness. She gets an eyeful of it when I hand her over, and lets out an excited gurgling noise.

Noah pauses, smiling down at her with magnesium eyes.

“Oh, so we’re done being mad for no reason, hmm?” he asks, arching an eyebrow. “Good. That was pretty dramatic, earlier. I’m a little embarrassed for you, Niki, to tell you the truth. Try to be more dignified in the future.”

He taps her nose with his forefinger, and she seizes it immediately, tries to stuff it in her mouth. Noah lets out an affectionate laugh, settling her against his chest.

“You telling someone to be more dignified, Noosh?” Aiden makes a skeptical face. “That’s interesting, considering what a sore loser you were when Ripley kicked your ass as Blood Spatter Boy.”

“Bro, it wasn’t fair!” Noah groans. “I was laughing for like, the entire first minute of the match! I didn’t realize that the blunderbuss was gonna shoot tadpoles, okay? I nearly dropped the damn controller. And Ripley totally knew that shit would make me laugh and fuck up. He did it on purpose.”

“So he outsmarted you, is what you’re saying?”

Noah tries to frown at me, unsuccessfully. “Jamie, just because you can’t play a video game to save your life-”

“Are you kidding me? What about that World War Two game we played last weekend? I seem to recall that I was the only one on the team who made it to the rally point! And that was after you stole my M1, Noah! You are the worst teammate.”

Noah grins, winks at me. “But the best player.”

“Oh, really? I think that Blood Spatter Boy might have something to say about th-”

“Okay.” Aiden reaches around to plant a hand over my mouth, then uses it to pull me back against his chest. “I can see where this is going, and we will literally be here all night if I don’t put a stop to it right now.”

"Fair enough," Noah says, around another yawn.

Aiden lets me go, unhooks our jackets. I pull mine on, then turn back to Noah, realizing that there was something I meant to say.

“Thanks for your help with Blaise this morning,” I tell him, stepping into my shoes. “My car probably would have crumbled like a cupcake if we tried to tow anything with it.”

“I actually think a cupcake would last longer than your car,” Noah says, then chuckles again when I make a face at him. “Anyways, that’s so you, Jamie. I came down here to thank you for something, and you thank me for something else before I even can.”

“Thank me?” I straighten up, tossing my hair out of my eyes. “For what?”

“Well - both of you, actually.” Noah glances at Aiden, his expression growing serious. “I never thanked you guys for helping me out when Ralph pulled that dumb fucking stunt on me.” He stops for a second, biting his pierced lip. “Feels good to know that my boys are looking out for me.”

Aiden breaks into a surprised smile, and I feel myself do the same.

“Course we are, Noosh,” Aiden says warmly.

“Yeah, dude,” I add. “Never worry about that.”

Noah smiles tiredly at us, cradling Nikita in his arms. She’s quiet, still enraptured with the lights.

“You look ready to pass out, man.” Aiden zips up his jacket, then takes my hand. “We’ll let you get some sleep.”

I glance back at the house as Aiden and I walk down the driveway. The light from the living room windows is soft and mellow, but I can make out Noah, standing there with Nik. He really does look exhausted, but he makes no move to go upstairs. He holds Nikita so that she can see the light streaming in, and she gazes out at it with endless fascination.

Noah is looking not at the lights, but at Nikita, his expression so fond and tender that my breath catches when I see it.

I slip my hand into Aiden’s, smiling to myself, grateful for the little things. Rest, warmth, a moment of love and intimacy. This is turning out to be a night filled with those.

“What?” Aiden asks, when he catches me gazing up at him.

Now I’m the one who can’t explain the look on my face.

“Nothing.” I pop a kiss onto his nose, then stride around to the driver’s side of my car, trying to hide my burning cheeks. “Let’s go home, it’s so cold out here.”

Aiden pauses, his eyes flitting to me, and I realize what I said.

 “Or - to your place, I mean,” I pin on quickly.

Aiden nods in silent agreement, opening up the passenger’s door.

I can’t say for sure, but I think I catch the tiniest hint of a smile before he slips into the car and out of my sight.

~~~~

I step out into Aiden’s bedroom, my hair still damp from the shower. Through the open windows, the clouds are sugary puffs of moonlit brightness, drifting on the wind. I stop to watch them blow gently across the sky, over the treetops. But it’s too cold for me to stand here without clothes for too long, and Aiden looks enticingly warm and comfy, so I join him in bed.

He has the book of poetry I gave him open on his lap, propped up on the blankets. He's wearing the glasses, holding the book with one hand. With the other, he lifts the blankets to make a space for me by his side, revealing a brief flash of his bare body. I slip beneath the covers and rest my cheek against the smooth muscle of his torso, let out a contented sigh.

“Mm.” Aiden closes the book, looking down at me. “You sound nice.”

I smile up at him, curl a little closer. He sets the book on the night table, then the glasses. Only the lamp is switched on, but even in the dusky light, I can see the powerful flex of his forearms as he pulls me to him. He rolls me onto my side, then folds himself around me, his knees to the back of mine, his chest to my back. He nuzzles his nose into my hair, takes a long breath.

We lay cozied up together for a few minutes, and I start to wonder why Aiden hasn't turned off the lamp. Is there something he wants to talk about? I can’t see his face from this angle, but I get the sense that he’s working through his thoughts.

“Are you doing okay?” he finally asks.

The deep rumble of his voice rolls through me at every point of contact between us, a feeling so intoxicatingly perfect that it takes me a second to understand what he actually said.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Way better than okay, actually. Why do you ask?”

“Because we have to go see Callejo tomorrow, make our written statements about the break-in. I thought you might be nervous.”

“Oh. I almost forgot, actually.”

Aiden lets out an incredulous laugh. I feel the rush of it against the nape of my neck. Goosebumps spread down my arms, and my toes curl beneath the blankets.

“How are you being so chill about this, Keane? I expected you to be way more concerned, given everything that this mission involves. We’ve got kind of a lot going on.”

“Dating you has changed my standards for what constitutes having a lot going on,” I tell Aiden, and he huffs out another laugh.

“Seriously, though,” he says. “I thought you’d be sitting here telling me that I’m being too calm about it. But it seems like you’re sort of - in the same place that I am?”

I think it over, realizing that Aiden is right. I’m not nearly as anxious as I normally would be in a situation this stressful. I haven’t stopped to think about why. It could be that our last mission had me doing such wild things, taking such absurd risks. Not to mention the rescues, my god. That kind of experience changes a person’s idea of what warrants panicking over.

It is that, I think, but it’s something else, too.

It’s this warm body wrapped around mine, this massive hand resting on my side, fingertips tracing my hip bone.

In the haven of his arms, it’s hard to worry about anything.

“Because you make me feel safe, Aiden.” I turn my head, brush a kiss onto his mouth. “I have this feeling like - like there’s nothing we can’t get through, so long as we’re together. Don’t know how to explain it. Maybe it’s a Companion Plant thing?”

Aiden doesn’t respond, and a silence stretches over the room. I’d already turned away from him again, but now I roll over in his arms, so I can see him.

The look in his eyes stops me still.

"Aiden?" I sit up on my elbows, alarmed. “Are you okay?”

He makes an anguished sound, drops his forehead onto my chest. The movement knocks me flat on my back, and I laugh in surprise, curling my arms around him.

“You’re killing me, dude,” he mumbles, his warm breath against my chest setting off another wave of goosebumps. “Just - I can’t handle you. Can you please close your sweet adorable mouth for one minute? Just one minute, please.”

“No,” I say firmly, and Aiden lets out an indignant laugh. “You want to shut me up, you’ll have to figure out a way to make m-”

I shut up immediately as Aiden lifts his head and kisses me down into the pillows, rolling on top of me. It’s a long moment before he draws back. I blink up at him hazily, my cheeks on fire.

“I’ll have to remember to use that trick more often,” he chuckles, gazing down at me.

“Okay,” I answer, like an idiot.

Aiden huffs out another laugh, then pauses.

“So - really? You’re feeling okay with all this shit going on? I’d hate to be responsible for an asthma attack.”

You’ve already been responsible for several of those, but not for the reason you think, I nearly answer.

“You can hear me, can’t you?” I say instead, dragging my fingernails through his beard. “You said I sound nice. Can’t lie with my energy.”

“Or with your mouth,” Aiden points out.

“Stop it!” I laugh.

“You do sound nice,” Aiden says, skimming a hand down my body.

I shiver beneath his touch, reaching up to lock my arms around his neck. “Oh, yeah?”

“Mhm." Aiden puts the tip of his nose to mine. “Everything is like music, with you.”

He kisses me again, long, slow, and loving. Any response I might have had dissolves on my tongue. Safe in the warm harbor of Aiden’s arms, I let myself get lost in loving him.

Aiden listens, and smiles.