How could I make Atticus so uncomfortable? I embraced him, he cannot bear intimacy. What am I to do?! I thought about our hug in the garden, distraught at how stupid I had been. I blinked back the thought and noticed our servants had filled a bowl of warm water for me. I washed my hands and face. After drying off, I fell back onto my bed and reached for my book by my pillow. For the next few hours, I read.

I realised how long it had been when I heard Atticus at my door, "Alexandria? Mother and father are already at the table. We must be going."

I sighed and put my book next to me, as I slowly closed my eyes before opening them again. I pulled myself up and went to open the door. "Atticus, you give me the best news," I said with a fake smile. I took his extended arm and we walked downstairs.

He laughed falsely as he walked me down the stairs. I braced myself as we entered and sat down. "Mother. Father," he greeted with a nod. Father sat at the head of the table like most men do. Mother sat to his left. She had the whole side to herself, since our sister, Natalia, was away, though she still sat close to him. Atticus and I shared the opposite side to Mother. Atticus closer to them both, and me at the other end, further away.

"Hello...", I sat as Atticus pulled out my chair, unable to finish my sentence. Mother interrupted me, "How lovely it is for both of you to finally grace us with your presence." I had to bite my bottom lip to hold my tongue. I would not want to say the wrong thing.

"We apologise for being tardy. Time seemed to have passed us by without our consent," Atticus apologised before picking up his spoon and putting it into my soup. "Have we missed anything in our absence?"

"The Beausants are here," Father wagged his finger at Atticus. "I do hope you have been working on your charm and confidence. A perfect gentleman is what I want to see."

"Of course, father," he reassured him, his tone a monotone. "I am sure Alexandria can reassure you that I have been nothing but a gentleman."

I looked up from my bowl, slightly alarmed, "Yes, yes, a perfect gentleman. He always is."

"What about you, Alexandria?," Mother asked me. "Have you found an elegant dress?"

I smiled, trying not to laugh, "Yes mother, Atticus and I were looking all day. One made from flowers and leaves..." It probably not the best thing to say. Why did Atticus ask me to speak? I could still have been biting my lip, I thought.

Atticus quickly jumped in to save me, "Yes, it is a gorgeous gown, Mother." He reassured her, "The details are quite intricate as if there were real leaves and flowers on it, I think is what my sister was trying to say." I gave Atticus a smile to thank him then continued to eat in silence, even when mother speaks to me.

"Alexandria, you will have to work on those manners if you are to get a husband," Mother stated, but Father cut in. "Husband? Not before this fine man gets a wife. Have you decided on which of the young ladies you will court?"

"Well, an obvious choice would be the Beausant sisters. Though I am sure I will meet other eligible women at the ball," Atticus replied quickly, not wanting to talk about marriage.

Father slammed his fist down on the table, making our plates and cutlery clatter, "The Beausants are the ONLY choice for you." He wagged his finger again, "You will wed one of them, because if you do not..."

"Well, why then, Father, did you bother asking me in the first place?", he asked back rhetorically. "We both know I'm not incompetent, so I suggest that you have a little faith in me and stop treating me as though I am."

Father slammed his fist down multiple times and I watched as our cutlery danced, almost off the table. Father said through gritted teeth, "Atticus, I know fair well how competent you are, but I was asking which of the daughters you will court. The younger or the older?" I found my book, still on a nearby chair from breakfast, and started reading, hiding it below the table. I wanted to avoid the argument as much as I could.

Atticus breathed to calm himself. "Most likely Suzanne, the older one," he responded casually. "Georgette craves attention too much for my taste."

"Very good. A wise decision," Father sat back in his chair, rather content, like nothing had just happened. "The eldest is always more worthy."

I looked over at my brother and could tell he is holding his tongue. I know he hated the 'More worthy' comment. However, he still nodded, "I am glad you are satisfied with my decision."

"Yes, quite," Father said. The rest of our meal was enjoyed in uncomfortable silence, until Father stood with an almighty sigh, "I believe I will be off to bed." With that, he walked out of the room.

Mother then turned to Atticus, "I am sorry, my son, but he does want the best for you."

"Yes, well, he has a funny way of going about it," he scoffed. "Does it not bother you how he talks about women?", he asked.

Mother just smiled, "You are a good boy, Atticus, but your Father is not always this way." She lowers her cutlery, "He does love you very much, and you too, Alexandria." I looked up again at the sound of my name, "Pardon me?"

"I'm sorry, Mother, but I have a hard time believing you. It seems like we are simply here for his gain. To obtain the Beausant house," he retorted.

"We?" I looked at my brother, "Atticus, do not sell yourself short. It is you that father only has eyes for." "Hush now, Alexandria," Mother snapped. "You do not think I have seen you reading there, at dinner." I quickly looked down at my book again.

"Perhaps he favours me now, but should I fail..." He trailed off in thought, "Well, I might as well disown myself."

"He will not disown you, I will not allow it," Mother said forcefully. "Besides, with this face, and your manners, you will win any lady's heart." She had directed the manners comment at me, but I did not pay her any attention. She lifted herself up from the table. "I too must be going to bed now. Goodnight, Alexandria, Atticus," she said as she was leaving the room.

"Goodnight, Mother," I muttered, without looking up from my book.

"Goodnight mother." Atticus nodded as she left. Once she was gone he let out a long sigh. "That went just as I thought it would. Terribly."

I looked up from my book, closing it as I do so, "Pardon? Did you say something?"

"No, nothing," he sighed and stood up. "Come. We should retire to our rooms."

"Very well." Once again, I take his arm and we ascend the stairs. Outside of my room, as I am opening my door, I turn to face him. "Good night, brother," I whisper before kissing him on the cheek.

"Goodnight," he nodded before returning to his own room. I turned around and walked into my room. I prepared myself for bed, then crawled in and went to sleep.

***

I woke as the sun hit my face. It is Thursday, the day of the ball. I got up out of bed. I have a quick wash, though the water in the bowl is now cold, and I change into one of my simple dresses. It is short-sleeved and pale yellow, with a repetitive dot/snowflake-like pattern on it. I brushed my hair and left it down, before picking up my book and heading downstairs to the parlour to read.

In the parlour, I heard a horse galloping up our estate. I closed my book and looked out the parlour window. Who is this gentleman on horseback?, I thought. When I heard him knock, I rush to the door and open it, beating our servants. "Hello?", I said curiously.

"Hello madam, I hope I am not interrupting anything. You see, my name is Laurent Beausant and you were invited to our ball tonight. I saw that we were strangers, thus I thought I should introduce myself before the ball," He announced, filling my head with so much information. "I am sorry if I am talking too much. May I ask what is the young lady's name?"

My eyes were wide in disbelief. I stood there, awestruck. A Beausant is standing in front of me. Talking to me? Talk to him. Quickly now. Before he leaves, I told myself in my head. I am silent much too long. "Uh ... Alexandria Egerton," I introduced myself before I curtsy.

"Well, it is nice to meet you, Alexandria," he stood in front of me. He looked a little awkward. I thought to myself, Alexandria, what are you doing? Say something. Speak now. Should I invite him in? Yes, of course, I should. So just do it, Alexandria, just do it.