Joshua stares at Tamia in silence.

He had no defense. He had nothing to say that could stand up against Tamia’s words because nothing could surpass the truth that she spoke. Joshua is absolutely letting life pass him by. He’s wasting away right before Tamia's eyes, or so that's how she feels, and it's saddening because she knows that Joshua will never get to live out the fantasy that’s in his head; the one where he and Rory are together and living happily ever after.

It’s a nice fantasy, one that Joshua created and clung to after the passing of his mother.

Rory’s content, his life vlogs more so than his fitness videos, helped Joshua get through dark times, helped him smile when he thought he couldn’t anymore, helped him laugh when he thought he never would again. Both Rory and Tamia helped Joshua get through one of the toughest moments in his life, and for that, he'll forever be grateful to them both.

Joshua can’t let go of Rory Carter completely, but he can take Tamia’s advice and put some distance between them while he works to better himself. It’s the least he can do for Tamia.

Tamia is someone that has had Joshua’s back since they were kids, and had it not been for the support that she and her family gave to Joshua after he’d lost the most important person in his life, the only parent he’d ever known, Joshua probably wouldn’t even be here right now. He shudders to think about how he might have turned out had Tamia not been a part of his life.

"For the record, I don't hate Rory Carter," Tamia says. "I just feel like the time that you spend on him is a lot, and I wish you'd put that time and energy into other things; things that'll help you grow as a person, things that'll help you gain the confidence to go out and meet people, maybe even meet a nice guy and start a relationship with someone worthy of your time versus being holed up in this apartment watching Rory’s videos all damn day and night.”

“Are you finished, or are you done?” Joshua jokes, not having taken offense to her words.

“Yes. I promise I’m done preaching.” Tamia laughs. “Is it your turn to drill into me now?”

Joshua shakes his head. “No. I’m not going to yell at you for speaking the truth. And I know…I’ve always known that I don’t stand a chance with Rory. Only in my dreams. I also can understand how you see me as an obsessive fanboy who spends too much time on the internet and not enough time outside. I can’t blame it on me being an introvert, as much as I want to.” Joshua pauses, remembering his mother. “I admit that I’ve been emotionally unavailable ever since my mom died. It’s been difficult for me to open up to people, difficult for me to build new relationships but I’m trying. Every day I’m trying.”

Tamia squeezes his hand. “I know you are, darling. I know. And I’m sorry if I came across as harsh or insensitive. Listen, if Rory makes you as happy as you claim he does, then I have no choice but to be happy right alongside you.”

“He does make me happy.” Joshua smiles. “When I'm feeling like crap and am on the verge of breaking down because certain days are harder to get through than others, I turn to Rory because he cheers me up with his positive vibe and kind words. He makes me feel good. And I don’t want to give that up right now. I can’t give that up right now.”

“And I will never force you to give that up,” Tamia says. “All that I can do is tell you how I’m feeling and wish you well. But like I said, if you’re happy, I’m happy. No more preaching. Now get over here and hug me, bitch.”

Joshua laughs. “Okay, bitch.” 

With less than an hour to spare, Joshua finally gets out of bed to get ready for work.

He’s a cashier at the local supermarket that sits in the center of his town. He’s worked there long enough to get the regulars who come in to call him by his name instead of yelling at him ‘Hey, you there!’. Not a lot of exciting things happen at the supermarket, but there is one person that Joshua looks forward to servicing every time they come in, and that person’s name is Rory Carter.  

While Rory may be popular online, he hasn't gotten to the point where he can't go out in public without being swarmed by fans. He is still able to go out for morning runs, still able to grocery shop at the supermarket where Joshua works. Rory has gone through Joshua’s checkout line a few times now. They’ve even held conversations with one another, albeit brief.

This is by far the most painful crush that Joshua has ever had to deal with.

There’s nothing like having a crush on someone who lives just a short drive away from you. And that is undoubtedly the most difficult part for Joshua when it comes to being such a hardcore fanboy of Rory's. It’s him knowing that Rory lives just on the other side of town, the side of town where there are sidewalks and working stoplights.

Rory is literally within Joshua’s reach and yet, at the same time, so far away.

“I’m headed to the car!” Tamia calls out from the living room a few minutes later. Joshua can hear the front door open and shut as she leaves.

Joshua grabs his cell phone from off the nightstand before heading out until he finds himself pausing at his bedroom door after checking his Twitter notifications. Out of the thirty notifs, there is only one that stands out among the rest. 

And it belongs to Rory Carter.

“Holy shit…Rory just followed me on Twitter?!”