I lay on my side, watching Aiden sleep. He has one arm folded and tucked beneath his head, his cheek resting against his bicep, heavy eyelashes fluttering now and then as he dreams.

One of his hands is between us on the bed, left there from when I slowly and carefully twisted my way out of his grasp. It looks almost like he passed out in the middle of reaching for me.

The night beyond Aiden’s open window breathes cool air onto my face, but I’m basking in Heliomancer heat.

The darkness of the bedroom is broken up with a soft, shifting glow. Some of Aiden’s fireflies are still awake even as he sleeps, drifting through the air like tiny bundles of spun gold. They’re an unintentional byproduct of what we were just up to, but I’m happy that they’re here. They let me see Aiden clearly.

His hand slides further across the bed until his fingers gently poke my stomach. He murmurs something when he finds me. Sleep-spoken sounds, loose syllables that don’t fully form a word. I close my eyes, savoring the deep, husky rumble of his voice.

Then I open them again, go back to studying him. I love his voice, but I love his silences, too.

The world beyond the bounds of Aiden’s bedroom feels unreal to me at the moment, completely disregarded by my brain. My whole life seems to be cozied up in this bed. I know that there are other things out there, things that will eventually need my attention. But the radio static of worries and to-do lists in my mind has gone utterly silent.

I stroke my fingertips down the side of Aiden’s face. Smooth skin, then the roughness of his close-cropped beard. I follow his cheek down to the hard ridge of his jawline, to his chin.

A sleepy little sigh rises from him. My toes curl beneath the blankets.

I lay there and try to think of something bigger than my love for Aiden, but come up empty-handed. Nothing meets the criteria, nothing.

Suddenly overwhelmed, I slip out of the bed, find my boxers, and pull on one of Aiden’s sweaters. Press the fabric to my nose, take a deep breath of the vetiver embedded in the soft wool fibers.

A fine rain would be falling if the air was warmer; as it is, snowflakes drift lazily down, adding to the glittering white blanket on Aiden’s porch. Stepping out into the winter night, I realize that I probably should have put on more clothes. But Aiden’s warmth seems to come with me, to fend off the frigid air. The cold only meets my face, where it pulls some of the heat out of my cheeks.

I can almost still feel Aiden’s thumbs pressed into the dimples at the base of my spine, his mouth gliding up the back of my neck, leaving a trail of kisses. The warmth of his breath, his body. The way he looked, sleeping afterwards.

I put my elbows on the porch railing and lean into them. My breath fogs on the air, puffing out in white clouds around my face.

I just needed to breathe. My stupid goddamn heart can only take so much, and Aiden fills it up so thoroughly, so completely, so easily. It was ready to burst.

It’s late enough that the Christmas lights on their automatic timers have turned off. But a few houses here and there remain lit up all night, casting their colorful glow onto the snowbanks. The trees pick up the moonlight and scatter it, so that it falls across everything in chips and pieces.

A breeze rolls through the nearby trees, shifting the branches, sending up a papery rustling noise. The pine needles shift, like swaying waves on a moonlit ocean. I bend to rest my chin on my folded arms, watching.

Aiden’s voice drifts through my head. Jamie would love this.

This is the first moment I’ve had to really think about those quiet words he let slip at the Ghost Office.

I try to imagine him in one of those faraway places he’s visited. Names that he’s mentioned float through my mind: Aomori, Gdańsk, Dresden, Chennai. I’ve never been to any of them, but - did Aiden take me there, in his heart?

Jamie would love this.

Is that what Aiden thought, when he stopped and came out of his haze long enough to appreciate something beautiful?

The thought sends warmth flooding through me, from head to toe.

It strikes me that I still don’t know why Aiden traveled so far, what he was looking for. Why he went nomadic for eight entire years.

I’ve waited a long time for him to tell me, but I’m not upset that he hasn’t. I know that it’s not easy for Aiden to translate his thoughts into words. He has to slowly and meticulously weave each sentence together, thread by thread, to create the full tapestry. It’s a process.

And when it comes to this particular topic… Aiden really doesn’t like to talk about it. This wouldn’t be easy for him to talk about even if doing so came perfectly naturally to him. This is boss level stuff.

I’ll wait, and I won’t push Aiden into talking. So long as I can wait with him in my arms, I’m all good.

Some deeper instinct tells me that we have time to get there, anyways. I mean, I’m not going anywhere. I won’t be leaving Aiden’s side. With every passing minute, the idea seems more and more impossible.

Nothing would be the same, after Aiden. Even if I’d been touched by his magic just once, it would have changed everything. And I don’t mean his Guardian magic. I mean the powerful kind we make together. Companion Plant magic.

It’s opened new worlds to me. It breathes meaning and warmth and beauty into everything.

Yeah, I’m not giving up Aiden. Which means - assuming that he wants to stick with me, too - we have time. So until he's ready, I’ll wait.

I’ve been staring silently out at the night sky, watching the movements of the trees. But now something pulls me from my thoughts. On some subconscious level, I process a very slight change, an addition or subtraction to the environment that wasn’t there before. It takes me a second to figure out what it is.

Beneath the whisper of the breeze through the pine needles, I pick up a barely-perceptible jingling sound, like pieces of broken glass clicking against each other.

I know that sound. It means that the malachite plant is shifting. Moving to face Aiden, as it always does.

It could mean that he’s just rolled over in bed. Still, I find myself hurrying back inside, pausing only to shut the sliding glass door after myself.

The fireflies have gone out and disappeared when I slip back into the bedroom. Aiden is still in bed, but he must have been moving around a lot, because the blankets have slid down to his waist. There’s a five-finger imprint in my pillow, like he was holding onto it tightly.

He’s on his back, his arm flung over his face, murmuring beneath his breath.

Having a nightmare.

I quickly shed my clothes and climb back into bed with Aiden, gently move his elbow away from his face. I gather him up into my arms, until his cheek rests against my chest. He’s shivering a little, his eyes squeezed tightly shut.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles, breathing hard and fast. “I tried - you were - too far… I tried, I tried...”

My heart twists painfully, and I smooth some of Aiden’s hair out of his face. I should wake him up, but he was so exhausted, after his frustrating day at work. I was really hoping he could get some good rest tonight.

“It’s okay,” I whisper, but he either doesn’t hear, or doesn’t understand. He buries his face into my chest, his eyebrows furrowing, his breathing ragged.

I’m about to touch his arm, give him a shake to wake him up. But I hesitate, my hand hovering over him.

I’ve been swimming in a pool of peaceful calm - of loving him - all night. There’s a way that I can give Aiden some of that. Assuming that his barriers are down to me, even in his sleep. It means I’ll have to feel what he’s feeling right now, but… I think I can handle it, for Aiden. He brings out the strength in me.

Oh, god. This is going to absolutely suck, but - he’s my Companion Plant.

I take a second to brace myself. Then I close my eyes, and curl my hand around the back of Aiden’s neck.

The connection shimmers open.

I’m struck full-force with the brutal, crushing rush of Aiden’s emotions. Panic, guilt, and despair crash through me. Along with those, there’s the horrible, crestfallen feeling of imminent and catastrophic failure.

It hits me from every direction at once, so hard that I gasp. My jaw clamps shut, white sparks explode behind my eyelids, and a shudder moves through my body.

“Fuck,” I whisper, through gritted teeth. “Fuckfuckfuck - ohmygodholyshit…”

But unlike Aiden, I know that this is only a nightmare. I’m conscious enough to fight back.

I struggle through the violent tidal wave of his emotions and force myself to focus, to think of what I’d been thinking about before.

Aiden, and the way he lives in my heart.

I start pressing kisses onto his face, mothwing-light, so that I don’t wake him up. The green, foresty scent of vetiver meets my nose. It helps me take a breath, then another.

When I can think somewhat clearly again, I close my eyes and let myself drift into memories from this past summer. Swimming in the river at dawn with Aiden, and waking up in our tent on the mountainside. The old-growth forest spread out beneath us, the endless azure sky overhead.

The two of us sitting together on the pebbled beach outside of the Ghost Office. Looking up at the rippling green leaves overhead, our cups from Mugshot condensating onto our hands. Aiden’s blue eyes, sweet and expressive, glancing over at me. The breeze on the river. Even the wind was warm.

The storm-wracked sea of emotions within me starts to smooth out. The waves grow gentle, peaceful.

When I open my eyes, Aiden’s tortured expression is gone. He’s sleeping deeply, taking full breaths. His face is no longer pressed anxiously into my chest, but resting easily against it. He lets out a contented sigh, snuggling up closer to me.

A burst of happiness comes from my heart, rolls down my body, and seeps through the connection, right into Aiden. He smiles in his sleep, his cheeks rounding out.

I’m smiling, too.

I’ve always wished there was a way I could take some of the burden off of Aiden’s shoulders. It looks like I’ve finally found one.

~~~~

The last thing I remember before falling asleep was my nose nuzzled against Aiden’s, the crowns of our heads tipped together.

The first thing I’m aware of when I wake up is the feeling of soft kisses being brushed down my side.

I linger in my half-asleep state, but then a huge, gentle hand follows the path of the kisses, all the way down to my thigh. My pulse picks up in response, drawing me into full consciousness.

I roll onto my back, blink my eyes open, and find myself looking up into two stunning bright blue pools, bejeweled by the morning sunlight.

“Hi,” Aiden murmurs, bending to kiss me.

I don’t answer, even when he draws back. I’m having trouble finding words.

He looks so ridiculously good right now, his chestnut hair all morning-messy, his glowing smile lighting up his whole face. My heart stumbles, then does it again when Aiden bends to give my neck a playful nip.

“Have mercy, oh my god,” I mumble, fully aware that my cheeks are already a fiery shade of scarlet.

“Mmm?” Aiden hums, his lips brushing my throat. “What’d you say?”

“Um - nothing.” I smile up at him as he eases back, trace a fingertip along his jaw. “You’re in a good mood, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I slept really well last night. Don’t know why.” Aiden bites his lip, wincing. “I - may or may not have overslept my alarm by like three hours.”

I sit up, pressing my fingers to my mouth. “Oh, no-”

“It’s okay, don’t worry. I called Gabby and told her I’d just work late tonight, do some stuff for the exhibition. Like, you know. Figuring out how the fuck it’s all supposed to come together.”

A flash of stress crosses Aiden’s face, but it doesn’t last long. He really is in a good mood, and he lets it roll right off his shoulders.

“We’ll figure something out,” I tell him, in case there’s any residual anxiety. “Honestly, we will.”

Aiden smiles again, tips towards me to lean his forehead against mine.

“Will you come visit me at work today?” he murmurs, then hastily pins on: “Just - so we can - brainstorm exhibition stuff?”

I get the distinct impression that Aiden only added that last bit as an excuse, a reason to see me. I bite back a smile, nod at him.

“Cool,” he says, all casual. He pops a kiss onto my nose, then gets to his feet, stretching his arms up over his head. “Want to just come by after your shift?”

I was about to finger-comb my hair off of my forehead, but I freeze with my hand halfway to my face, my eyes wide.

It takes me a second to even realize that Aiden said something. The sight of him standing there with sunlight spilling down his bare body has thoroughly whited out every other thought in my brain. My heart is beating a hell of a lot faster than it was before, all of a sudden.

“Shift - come by - what?” I blink rapidly, gathering my knees to myself, my cheeks scorching hot. “Oh - yeah! I’ll come over as soon as I’m done.”

Aiden smiles, tossing a strand of chestnut hair out of his eyes. “You won’t keep me waiting too long?”

I smile back at him, nibbling my lip. “No. Of course not.”

In fact, my every instinct is screaming for me to pull him back into the bed. But I shouldn’t make him even more late for work, right?

Yeah, probably not. Goddamnit.

I close my eyes, flop onto my back, and let out a pained groan.

A soft huff of laughter meets my ears. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I’m dying,” I answer, then blink in surprise as two warm, powerful arms wrap around me. They lift me out from the covers, out of the bed, and into the air. “What-? Aiden!”

He grins, settling me up against him. I wrap my legs around him, laughing, but also kind of ready to scream. This definitely isn’t helping me resist the urge to push him back down into the bed.

“What?” Aiden purrs. He draws me into a slow, lingering kiss. “I have to shower before I go to work, anyways, so… you should shower with me. If you want to.”

The answer is probably obvious in my eyes, but I try to hide it.

“You already have to work late tonight, babe. And you know exactly what’s gonna happen if I get in the shower with you.”

“Like you said, I’m already working late.” Aiden tips his head to the side, looking at me with seriously dilated pupils. “I’ll just - work later.”

I try to give him a disapproving look, but end up letting out a helpless laugh, dropping my forehead onto his shoulder. Aiden breaks into a grin, sets me down, and takes my hand.

He leads me towards the shower, and the malachite plant shifts to follow his movements. I glance at it, then do a double-take, peering through the window.

Aiden’s bedroom is shimmering with golden light, which I assumed to be sunshine. But now I can see that it’s a stormy day outside, dark clouds everywhere, snow already starting to sprinkle down. It’s actually kind of dark out there.

Which means… all of the light is coming from Aiden.

I know that he’s happy right now, but I didn’t realize he’s this happy. I’m not sure that Aiden himself even realizes that he’s the source of all this light.

I’m about to ask him, but he kisses me all the way into the shower, and I forget every single word I was going to say.