I came home form a stressfull day at work, hoping to get some peace and quiet but I hadn't counted in how much of an annoying roommate John could be.
Because even before I walked into the apartment I could hear the terrible screams and screeching sound that he called music.
Great so much for having some god damn peace. You could probably even wake up the dead at this volume.
I frowned and made my way to the livingroom to turn this horrific stuff  down.
John was laying on the couch and  smoking a joint.
With an angry glare on my face, I took the TV remote from his hand and turned it off.
"Wow what the hell?" He starred at me with wide eye and sat up.
"Seriously why do you have to listen to that?! It's horrible! Why are you so god damn anyoning!" I screamed at him and then added: "And how often do I have to tell you that not to smoke that crap! You are going to die from it."
I stomped towards the window and opened it.
When I turned around, I saw him staring at me in shock.
"I'm I really going to die because of this?"
I shook my head. "No but if you get on my nerves even more I promise you, you will!"
A variety of emotions washed over his face until it settled on a look somewhere in between confusion and concern.
"Are you okay? You seem kinda even more pissed off than usual."
"I'm perfectly fine. Just leave me the fuck alone!"
I yelled at him while storming off to my room and slamming the door behind me.
Oh who am I kidding, I'm not fine and I haven't been fine for a long time.
I thought and threw myself on the bed.
Why the hell did I thought that this would be my second chance of having a life? This job sucks and the stuff that I have to do makes me feel so sick.
Maybe I should resign.
Yeah who cares...even if I have lost my chance of going to the afterlife by choosing to become a Grim reaper.
Everything would still be better than this shit.
I just can't handle this anymore.
So many thoughts and emotions were coming over me that I couldn't keep myself from tearing up.
I just want it all to stop.

After what felt like hours I was able to calm myself down and the numbing emptiness took its place again.
Then I heard a knock on my door.
"I told you to leave me alone." My voice sounded emotionless and a little bit scratchy.
But instead of leaving me alone, John just opened the door and stepped inside.
"I know man but if the hot chocolate gets too cold it will get this skin stuff on top and that's really disgusting."
I turned my face towards him and wiped a tear from my cheek. "You made hot chocolate?"
"Yeah. What did you think took me so long?"
With a wide grin on his face he gave me one of the two coffee mugs he was holding and then sat down on my bed.
"Thank you." I mumble while taking a sip.
"No problem." There was a moment of silence and then he said "You know it's okay to be not okay right?"
I just nodded.
"Even if I don't know what's it like to be dead or how you exactly feel, I still want you to know that I'm here for you bro."
A small smile was forming in the corners of my mouth.
"So what happened? Was it Karen from work again? I bet it's her fault. If I ever see her I promise I will kill her."
I chuckled. "You can't kill her. She is already dead just like me... and it was not her fault. At least not this time.
It's just I've been feeling pretty stressed lately and... I don't know it's just a lot I guess." I let out an exhausted sigh.
"I don't really want to talk about it right now."
After a moment of silence John put his mug down on my nightstand and hugged me.
I was barely able to get my hot chocolate out of the way so it wouldn't spill.
"What are you doing?" I asked confused.
"I'm giving you a motivational bro hug."
"Okay....but why?"
"You looked like you could need one."
I just set there awkwardly while he was hugging me. When even after a few minutes he didn't let go I just sight in defeat and hugged him back.
A strange feeling of calmness and comfort was spreading inside of me.
He some how had known that even if I didn't want to talk about the stuff that was tormenting me, I didn't really wanted to be alone and that hug would help me to feel at least a little bit better at that moment.

After a while we started talking about how our day had been and then we ordered something for dinner.
When it arrived we ate it while watching some stupid comedy movie and in the middle of it I fell asleep on the couch.