My breath catches in my throat as Jason’s hand drifts up to press against his shoulder. I watch his eyes flicker from mine down to his thighs and back, his lower lip getting caught between his teeth.

“Yeah,” Jason says finally, swallowing and looking away from me. “You’re right.”

You don’t believe me.

“I-”

“No talking, you three!” Alex calls. Jason and I jump, then look at each other and snicker.

“Sorry!” Crayton holds up a hand. “Won’t happen again.”

“I highly doubt that.”

“It won’t, I promise!”

“Shut up and let these guys work.”

“Yes sir.” 

“So anyways,” I mumble, looking back at Jason. “You guys live in that mansion, right? The one near the edge of town?”

“Yeah. My dad owns a successful business our grandpa started, and Mom- she’s, well, y’know.” Jason shrugs.

“Hey, it’s snowing!” Crayton leans over me and points at the window.

“Get off of me or I’m going to knee you in the stomach.”

“Sorry, alright, sorry.” Crayton sits back up and smiles sheepishly. “I just really like-”

“Crayton.” Alex glares at the new kid, who just shrugs in response.

“I’ll be quiet, I promise.”

“If you won’t I will make you take this test.”

“I’ll be silent as a mouse.”

For the remainder of school, Crayton is an obnoxious son of a bitch, always smiling and laughing and being just annoyingly positive.

“So now where to?” Jason stretches his arms over his head as we walk out of the school.

“The barn,” Crayton answers. I don’t have to look at him to know he’s smiling. “We talked about it earlier. After that, it’s my place.”

“Actually, we can head straight to yours,” I jump in, looking at my phone screen. “My aunt said the new people are gonna help do chores the next few times.”

“And you trust them enough?”

“Not in the slightest but if they start doing chores I can look for an actual job.” I shrug. 

“So how’re we getting to my house?” Crayton steps in front of Jason and I and whirls around, eyes flitting between our faces. “I got dropped off this morning by my sister.”

“I’ll drive.” Jason pulls his keys out of his pocket and takes a sudden left. Crayton nearly falls as he whirls to his right, heel hitting a puddle.

“Xael, can I ask you something?”

“I get shotgun,” I answer, walking up to Jason’s truck and pulling open the passenger door.

“Not about that.” Crayton pulls open the door behind me and jumps into the truck. “In first period some guy said you were gay and while I know it’s not my business to ask, I’ve been curious all day as to why they think that.”

“Because I live in flannels and hoodies,” I reply. Jason slams his door closed and turns on the truck. “Flannels are lesbian culture. Erego, I must be gay.”

“So you are?”

“Nope.” I lift my leg, showing him the cuffed leg of the jeans I changed into after gym. “Bi.”

“And you’re not gonna tell them?”

“Why would I?”

Movement draws my eyes to Jason’s hand as he turns on the radio.

“Because then they’d stop spreading rumors about you being gay?”

“If I tell them I’m bi then they’ll say shit like I’m looking for threesomes.” I put my seatbelt on and clutch the part of it that rests over my stomach. “They’ll tell me to pick a side, because apparently sexuality is a line and the only things that exist are gay and straight. The only thing that would happen to the problem is a word change. The numbers stay the same and the answer will always be the same.”

“You do know you radiate bi energy, right?” Jason glances over at me as he drives past my house. “Half-tucked shirt, converse, cuffed jeans- that’s just bi fashion.”

“I never claimed I was being subtle about it, I just said I wasn’t gonna say anything about it.”

“Y’all have a dynamic I can’t touch,” Crayton remarks. “How long have you guys been friends?”

“A day,” Jason and I answer.

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope.” Jason looks at Crayton in his rearview mirror. “One day.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I’d remember being friends with someone as awesome as her.”

“True.”

“I’m sitting right here.” I flash both Crayton and Jason an unamused look. They look at me and innocent smiles cross their faces.

“We’re well aware.”

“You’re not gonna get a reaction out of me.”

“Still well aware.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

“Do you think you can sleep over, Xael?” Crayton asks. “It’d be more fun.”

“I doubt your parents would be okay with it.”

“They don’t care. You can borrow some clothes from Delia.”

“I’m fine with it if Delia’s fine with it.”

“You should probably call her.” Jason looks at Crayton in his side mirror. “So she’s not surprised when some of her clothes go missing.”

Crayton nods and pulls out his phone, tapping the screen a few times before pressing it to his ear.

“Hey, Delia! No, I’m not- I didn’t get- I’m not hurt, either. I’m calling- yes, it’s important! You- no, not that. J- can I finish a sentence? Yeesh. It’s a diamond Joker. No, not Jack and King. I’m having friends over and I was wondering- yeah I know you already know but- one of them is going to borrow some clothes, alright?”

Crayton sighs once the call ends. “I can’t keep up with her, ever.”

Jason and I exchange a glance. How energetic is she if Crayton can’t keep up?

“She’ll be home in time for supper. You guys don’t mind if I leave you alone for a bit to cook, right?”

“You cook?”

“Damn good at it too.”

“What’re you making tonight?”

“Pasta, probably.” Crayton shrugs. “Tortellini maybe?”

“Skadiddle skadoodle, your dick is now a noodle,” Jason and I reply in perfect unison. Crayton rolls his eyes at us as Jason turns right.

“We’ll be at my house any minute.” Jason drums his fingers on his steering wheel. “You two will stay in the truck, understand? Conner’s home and neither of you need to be running into him.”

“Especially you, Crayton,” I jump in. “Not after the lunch incident.”

“Conner’s scared of me, don’t try and convince me otherwise.”

“I doubt it’s fear,” I mutter.

“What?” Both Jason and Crayton look at me.

“Nothing. Don’t mind me, I like talking to myself.”

“Alright.”

My phone buzzes and I pull it out of my pocket.

“Oh, you follow Rinock too?” Crayton rests a hand on my seat, peering over my shoulder.

“Yeah, I do.”

Scars haunt my dreams now. Just one night and I’ve woken in a cold sweat twice, scabbed-over cuts adorning his body.

His skin used to be untouched with the exception of the freckles on his face and the scars on his knees that everyone has from falling while running down a sidewalk.

And I made it worse. I made the pain he was feeling from the cuts worse.

And then there’s him.

I met a new guy today. He did what my conscious has been trying to get me to do for years: stop.

His words echo in my head, bouncing around when I want to do something to them.

Why can’t I just fucking stop?

“That’s- a lot.” Crayton moves, back hitting his seat with a dull thump. “I mean, where do I even start?”

I nod in agreement. “Who’s he talking about? The first guy is the person he bullies, that much is obvious.”

“He bullies at least two people,” Crayton corrects. “He talks about a girl and a guy in his posts. I’m guessing the other guy and the first one are the same.”

“You’re right.” I reread the post quickly.

“Who’re you guys talking about?” Jason takes an exit, eyes flitting over to me for a split second. “Sounds like a bad guy.”

“He’s not bad, he’s confused!” Crayton exclaims. “He doesn’t have anyone to talk to about this stuff. His family doesn’t like him and his friends would kick him out of their group.”