I always feel like I'm weighing my friends down from life and from the things that they want to do with their lives. I feel like a burden on them. they say that i'm not but i can't help but feel that way. They all deserve way better than me and i'm not gonna make it in this world if i can't feel accepted, i'm not gonna make it anywhere, not even life. I feel as though I'm not enough for anyone, not even my family. They want me to live up to their expectations but i just can't. Im sorry. I'm sorry I'm not perfect and I'm sorry i dont act like a senior in college. I'm still in highschool and you have me worried abt college. I can't take the weight you put on my shoulders anymore. I'm just wasting oxygen. The world would be able to breathe if i wasn't. Now I'm not saying that i want that to happen, I just like to think that to give myself a sorry-ass excuse to be sad about nothing. There are two types of sadness, the kind i wanna get rid of and go listen to happy music and find someone to talk to. Then there's the one where you know you're sad but you want to isolate yourself, listen to sad music, read qoutes about life, drink some monster, and basically just feel empty.

Just let me feel low. It's not like it'll change me anymore than it already has. I mean at this point I just feel numb. It feels like that drug they give you before you slip into hours of sleep. But only it won't pass, I can't wake up because I feel empty, like there isn't anything here to pull me back into life. Sometimes I wish I could just restart. Restart everything. As a different person too. If only we could... that'd be neat.