Thursday, December 7th, 2017

It's getting closer to Christmas. I've been thinking about getting you a gift, but I'm not sure how I would give it to you, or if you would even want it. What would a boy who has everything even want? I mean, you could ask for anything, and people would give it to you. Hell, you wouldn't even HAVE to ask, people just love you that much. I can only imagine what that must feel like~to be loved by all, hated by none.

Friday, December 8th, 2017

Well, I may not know what you want for Christmas, but I know what I want. Today was a particularly rainy day, so we stayed indoors after school. We just hung around and talked for a while. We played ping pong with the others, then got some popcorn and watched a movie. Simple days like this with you; that's all I ask for this Christmas.

This also reminds of that one holiday Britney song, My Only Wish (This Year). She sings about how she's alone, and tells Santa that her only wish is to bring her love to her for Christmas. "Santa, can you hear me?/ I have been so good this year/ And all I want is one thing/ Tell me my true love is here." Now obviously, I don't believe in true love and all that jazz. But just enjoying the little things with someone I like (a lot), sounds like the best way to spend Christmas.

Monday, December 11th, 2017

There goes any hope I had for my Christmas wish. Why does this keep happening?

I come back to school from a nice, long weekend, and what do I hear? "Omg, did you know Kaleb and Victoria are a thing now?" NO, I DID NOT KNOW THIS.

First of all, you were literally JUST in a relationship with another girl. Second of all, HOW in the WORLD did you manage to start another relationship?! You were just whining about it a couple of weeks ago, so now you're just going to replace her with a new person?

Yes, I know, this might be jealousy talking, but there is some truth to my words. And OF COURSE, you had to be with another one of my friends. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I keep saying that I'll leave, or I'll get over it, but will it actually happen? Will I really muster up the courage to leave and get over you? This is getting really repetitive, since I don't see a happy ending for you and me, so I might as well quit pursuing you, and just move on. That would be best, since it stings knowing that you're with someone else and you aren't thinking of me. So, I am locking up my feelings for you in here. I'll just be your friend. No strings attached.

I'll probably cry later on tonight. It just hasn't hit me that I'm really letting go, and that I'm going to move on to better things. I'm sure it will hurt, but I'm getting nowhere just chasing after you. So, this is the last time I'll pine for you. Goodbye, wretched feelings.