Friday, December 22nd, 2017

It's strange not running after you and catering to your every whim. I still get sad when I see you hanging out with Victoria, but I've come to accept that we were never meant to be together. And yet, a part of me longs for you. I still can't get you out of my head, but at least the pain isn't as great as it was before. Now, it's more like a dull ache instead of sharp stabs to my heart. I'm sure it'll fade over time, though. Everything goes away with a bit of time.

Sunday, December 24th, 2017

It's Christmas Eve. I was at my uncle's house for a party. It almost made me forget all the sadness that I'm feeling. Almost.

We played so much games. We had to open Hershey Kisses with oven mitts on and feed them to the next person. We also had to put Vaseline on our noses and pick up as many cotton balls as we could. We even had ping pong balls in a Kleenex box tied around our waists and we had to shake out as many as we could!

The food was also amazing. There was cake noodle, sushi, pork, puto, and so much more. I hate to admit it, but my eyes are bigger than my stomach. I ate until I felt like the food was going to come back up.

But I looked around and noticed that almost everyone was either married or in a relationship, and that just reminded me of you. And how lonely I am on Christmas Eve.

Monday, December 25th, 2017

I woke up to presents and the smell of pancakes. It was unusually sunny today; normally, it's gray and rainy out during this time of the year. It's like the universe was telling me that everything was going to be okay. I hope that's what it's telling me.

I went to my great-grandma's house in the morning. There was more food and more presents, but it was just fun hanging out with my cousins. We had this grab-bag game, where if you roll a 7, 11, or double on the die, you get to either a) pick a present or b) trade a present with someone else. I ended up getting the weirdest thing: a toaster oven. Why a toaster oven?? My mom seemed to like it, though, so I kept it.

In the afternoon, we went to my aunty's house. It's a lot more laid back at her house, so we just watch some TV, eat some food, play a few word games (she's a kindergarten teacher ;-; ). And I think I did a pretty great job of moving on, if I do say so myself. No thoughts of you today. I mean, I guess it counts as thinking of you if I'm literally writing about you, so I've still got some work to do.

puto* is Filipino steamed rice cake. It's really good, I highly reccomend you try it.