Tuesday, December 26th, 2017

Today, I went out with a large group of people that, unfortunately, included you and Victoria. Yeah, seeing you guys together did sting and probably set my progress back by a bit, but I just need some time to adjust to this.

So, I kinda avoided you and just sat at the far end of the table. It was easier this way ~ I wouldn't have to get swept up in any of the conversations that you had, which probably would have had something to do with your relationship. I looked over to your side of the table (where'd my progress go?) and ~ surprise, surprise ~ most of the girls were by you. It irritated me, which it shouldn't have, that you were dating someone but still had plenty of admirers.

I was mostly successful in dodging you for the entire day, until I tried to leave early. You tried to stop me and asked me where I was going. I couldn't even look you in the eye as I replied, "Home." I made up some random excuse, and just fled. It really does suck having to see couples; you're just reminded of what you don't have.

Thursday, December 28th, 2017

I was just taking a shower, and then I had an epiphany. What if the key to getting over you, was writing a song about you? Maybe I could channel my feelings into lyrics, and that would be the closure I needed. And I came up with some pretty good lyrics, too. I think I'm gonna call it "Let You Go," because that's essentially what I'm hoping will happen. I've got a good portion of it already done. It goes like this:

Yeah, I don't know where to start (no, wait, I do)

'Cause from the start you had my heart

You never gave me a chance at love

And now I've gotta lose this

Strangeness that I've felt

Since I met you

You always made me smile

If I didn't want to

And now I've gotta get you off my mind

And that's why

It's still a rough outline, but I'm liking it so far. At least something good came out of this painful mess I got myself into.

Friday, December 29th, 2017

I've figured out the chorus. It'll go like:

I've gotta let you go, let you go

Not gonna hold on no, hold on no

Gotta let you go, let you go

Oh no, oh

Oh no, oh

And then the second time around will probably be altered, but I need to figure out second verse first.

What would I even do with this song, anyways? I only know how to play one instrument, and it doesn't really match this song. I don't know how to play the guitar, and I don't know anyone who does. Maybe it's best if I keep this song under wraps until I'm sure that I want to share it with others.

Even so, I think that this is a step in the right direction. I don't mean to toot my own horn but, damn, I'm pretty awesome. HAHA, kidding ~ but not really.