I'm not suicidal. I'm not that sad. I just think of death sometimes. I just think about how it would be to die. I'm just thinking about it. I'm not actually going to die. I'm not suicidal. I don't want to die. I just think of death.

I'm not that sad. I'm not happy but I'm not sad. I'm nothing? Yeah. Nothing. I'm just there. I don't feel there but I am. I don't have any specific thoughts. I just stand there. I don't know. I'm not sad. I just think of death.

I just think about drowning. How it would feel like holding my breath. How long could I hold my breath? Five minutes? More or less? Maybe about a couple of seconds. I wouldn't really know. I don't keep up with the time.

I think about hanging from the ceiling. Strangling. It would be painful. It's painful to live. I'm not sad. I'm not suicidal. I just think about how it would be like choking. I wish someone would hold me by the throat. I'm not sad. My brain is. I'm not.

It just wants to die.