Cain jumped when Ella nudged him, and that little glint in her eye told him he’d been staring. A drift of leaves twined down the river below them, speckles of grey like dove feathers caught on the swell. “Thank you for helping me, Cain. It’s a lot more fun doing it with you.”

Oh. Cain rubbed his hand over his face and took a sip of his wine so that he didn’t have to hold her eyes. Maybe hide the stupid smile hearing that brought to his lips. The alcohol heat hardly held a torch to the fuzzy warmth that flooded him.

Why did she have to do that? Put that little kindling of hope in his chest no matter that none of it was borne from anything but friendship. Cain took another gulp of the wine – good for a street vendor, delicious, in fact – and looked out at the river as he spoke, his throat tight.

“It’s no problem. I’ve enjoyed myself as well.”

Behind them, laughter burst from a group walking by and sent a flock of pigeons warbling into the air. They flapped around in a storm of wings and coos before alighting on the railing just down from them. The cacophony had drowned the sound of Ella shifting, and Cain jumped as her weight settled against his arm. Although he just managed not to jerk away entirely. As she finished shifting in closer, her warmth began to seep through his jacket, blissful against his skin.

Not that he could bloody relax with her so close. Which way? Closer and she might think it was weird, and the other way would be moving away from her. But he couldn’t just stand here and—

“You said you didn’t really feel part of all of this before.”

Cain glanced at her and raised an eyebrow.

Ella spread her hand out to the river, her arm jostling against his. “All of this. Do you now?”

“I suppose…” Cain sunk further into the railing and after a moment, Ella moved with him, leaning her forearms on the stone and clasping her wine in both hands. Cain took a swig of his, like the touch of alcohol would loosen the iron bands tightening around his chest. “I feel like I’ve let myself in. Like the door was unlocked all along but I sat outside in the cold nonetheless because it never felt … proper for me to go in.”

God, she was so close. His chest hurt so much. Would she notice if he just … relaxed into her a bit? Cain took a deep breath and as he let it out, he let some of the tautness ebb from his muscles. Ella shifted, but she didn’t move away. Did she truly not mind him being this close?

“Ella—” Cain swallowed hard as her eyes turned up to him, mouth hidden behind the rim of the cup. Her curiosity turned his mouth to a desert. What had he planned on saying? “Thank you for this evening. I’ve really had an amazing time. It’d be nice if we could … do it again some time?”

Stupid, stupid, stupid. Like this was anything more than shopping for Levi’s party. Anything more than friends.

Ella’s smile made even that blushing, berating part of his brain freeze up. She sunk deeper against his arm, almost as if she were just another shift away from resting her head on his shoulder. Cain swallowed again, willing some moisture to come back into his mouth. Why was she smiling so widely? So beautifully? When was she going to start laughing at this idiot talking like they’d been on a bloody date?

“I’ve had a wonderful time too.” Wonderful? Did she think it was a date too? Did she want it to be? “Will you come out with me again next week?” Cain’s heart pounded in his chest. God, he couldn’t breathe, was she going to— “We’ve still got to buy more stuff for Lev’s party, don’t we?”

Shit. Thrice damned shit. Cain just about managed a nod as he tipped the rest of his wine down his throat, just about managed a pathetic smile around the curdling disappointment in his chest. Of course. “Of course.” His voice came out cracked and Cain cleared his throat. “Of course. We’ve still got to buy food as well, I suppose.”

Ella nodded, laughing. “Exactly. Are we going to cook it or—”

“I’ve seen your cooking, Ella. I’ll pay for a caterer – trust me, it’ll make life easier for everyone.”

“Hey!”

“I’m only thinking of your party.”

Laughing, Ella shifted in closer again and fuck, now she really did rest her head on his shoulder. Against his shoulder, and even then she only reached it because he was bent so low over the railing but damn, she actually was and if he just turned his head he could maybe call her name and she’d look up and he could kiss her and—

Fuck, his chest hurt. His muscles trembled with tension. Could she notice how wrought he was? How quick and uneven his breath came?

Calm, Cain. Why did he drink all the bloody wine already?

“I never imagined you’d be so thoughtful, you know.”

Cain almost turned to look at her, but he could feel her turning her face up to look at him and he’d probably faint if he came that close to her lips, so he just glanced at her from the corner of his eye. “What do you mean?”

“I mean…” She pursed her lips, her nose wrinkling up a touch. “I don’t know. You’re just a lot different to what I expected – you know, back then. In a good way. I never thought the King of the Apocalypse would be one of my best friends.”

Best friends. God, that really was pathetic after all of this. Cain squeezed his eyes closed and pushed down on the lump rising in his throat. “Only one of?”

Ella slapped his hand, laughing. “Stop it. You know what I mean.” Yes, he did. And not just in a bitter way. He’d surprised himself as well with the way he’d found … normality. “I just mean … I’m really glad I met you, Cain. You’re a really wonderful person and you’re really, really important to me. I hope you know that.”

Shit. Cain pressed his hand across his mouth as he stared blind down into the river. If only she knew how much that meant. His eyes stung, a haze touching the bottom of his vision. Why did she have to keep giving him bloody hope like that?

“Cain?” A high note of concern tightened her voice now, and she lifted her head from his shoulder. “Are you alright? Did I say something wrong?”

No, he couldn’t just stare at the river and cry, could he? Cain took a deep breath and flicked his fingers beneath his eyes, turning the movement into sweeping back his hair. Another deep breath and he cleared his throat. Maybe his voice wouldn’t crack. “Sorry.” So much for hopes. “I’m okay, Ella. You didn’t say anything wrong. The opposite.”

“It’s true, you know.”

Her face was all tight with pursed lips and a little frown, but behind those lips was a smile, the same quiet one that brightened her eyes. As a wavering grin crept across Cain’s lips, her expression burst in full, gorgeous technicolour joy.

“I know, Ella,” Cain murmured, “and if it means so much to you, I hope you can imagine how much it means to me.”

She nodded, no more words as she rested her head once again against his shoulder. This time, in a burst of bravery, he leant back so he could wrap his arm around her waist. With a deep, contented sigh, she snuggled into the crook of his arm like the spot had been made for her, and as the pigeons took off in a flight of grey and green across the cityscape and somewhere in the distance, a choir began to sing, he pulled her in tight and decided that perhaps the entirety of him had been created solely to love her.

If only she’d been made the same way.