"I am the worst, aren't I?" Azu whispered, sadness lacing his voice. He gently patted the back of Akira head, embracing him in the warmth he had seeked. "It's all right Aki, you did nothing wrong. I am the one who needs to sort out my shit."
Akira let exhaustion sweep over him, as he rested his head on Azu's shoulder. It was his way of letting Azu know that he wanted to be spoilt and taken care of.
In response bloomed a sad smile, on Azu's face. Unable to resist the urge, he gave Akira a quick kiss on his shoulder.
"I love you, you know?" The confession warmed his heart, filling it with joy even as anxiety threatened to rear its ugly head.
I need to treat him better.
To Azu, fighting with Akira was always unpleasant and painful. Regardless of winning it or loosing it, he always ended up feeling like a loser .
But if there was one thing he hated even more - it was seeing Akira in pain. While it was true that he himself had tried to hurt him countless times in the past - sometimes out of jealousy and sometimes for reasons that can never be justified, everytime Akira cried in silence, his heart would begin to crumble.
The one thing Azu had learned from all those instances was that in the end, he never could find the satisfaction he was hoping for. As they spent more time with each other, every once in a while when Akira was hurt by something he said, Azu would feel his sorrow trickling into him. It would tear at his heart and bring along a flood of unwelcome emotions - emotions of guilt and shame, leaving him feeling disgusted with himself. He could swear that some of those times, he could even feel his magic rejecting him, protesting against him and accusing him of betrayal.
Duels that I can never win, huh?
He chuckled softly.
"You know what?", he spoke, "I think I'll stop seeing Izuki for sometime."
Akira pulled back from the hug in surprise. "You will?!"
If what happened earlier wasn't enough to convince Azu of his decision, the innocent look of surprise on Akira's face and the uninhibited smile that appeared afterwards when Azu confirmed that he was positive about it, sealed the deal. He held him close, hugged him tight and let out a sigh as he thought to himself -
What's there to choose anyways? It's always going to be him.
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