Jax's POV 

I seethed all the way back to my cabin. People made room for me when I cut through crowds and guards stared at my as I walked past them but I didn't stop marching until I slammed my cabin door open. 

I felt three set of eyes snap to me but I didn't care. Anger bubbles up inside of me and stayed there as if someone put a lid over the anger pot. 

"How did it go?" Callum worked up the nerve to ask after I laid down on my bed and glared up at the celling. 

"I'm never going back there again," I decided. 

"Me either," Ryder agree from his place between his boyfriends. 

Liam frowned at both of us but wisely said nothing as he went back to watching whatever movie was playing. 

I had hoped that after I laid down for a while my anger would disappear or at the very least settle down but if anything it had gotten progressively worse. I knew there was only going to be one way I was going to calm down tonight. 

"Do you guys have any place in this whole camp where you can just go and punch the living shit out of something?" I ask after a few minute of silence. 

At first all three boys seemed hesitant to answer before Liam spoke up. 

"No? The whole point of this camp is to learn how to get away from violent or illegal tendencies."

"It's only illegal if you get caught," I told him as I stood up for the bed. "It's alright. I'll find a place by myself," I grumbled as I walked to the door. 

Just as I was about to slam the door shut, Liam's voice caught my attention. 

"Try by the far side of the lake. There aren't any guards on that side. Just be back before dark, thats when they double down on security." I looked back at him with slightly wide eyes. I was surprised he of all people would help me. 

"Thanks," I said sincerely before shutting the door and taking off. 

I jogged the whole way around the lake until I got to the side Liam told me to go to. 

For the first time since I got to this place I felt completely alone and it was a great feeling. 

At first I was tempted to just sit down and relax until I remembered what bought me all the way out here. My fists clenched up again as I looked around me; nothing but trees for miles.  

Without thinking I slammed my fist into the closest tree.

Pain wasn't the first thing that I felt. Hell, pain didn't even place second for that. 

Relief flooded me as soon as my fist connected with the tree. More anger followed it though and the next thing I know my other hand is taking its place. 

Over and over my fists hit the innocent tree. 

I wasn't myself anymore but at that moment it didn't matter. 

My jaw was clenched, sweat poured down my forehead, voices danced around my head. 

"You call that a punch?" 

I punch harder. 

"Quit being a fag and pay attention."

I pick up speed even though my chest feels like it my explode. 

"You're in deep shit. Just wait until we get home." 

My eyes widen, my breath catches, I stop punching. 

Pain finally sets in. 

I look at the tree first. I'm sad to say all my work was fruitless, the tree sat there as if nothing ever happened. My blood, which stained only a small circle, was the only thing that could what happened. 

I sigh and finally look at my hands even though I really don't want to. I already know exactly how they will look. 

Only the first two knuckles on each hand were oozing blood and beginning to bruise. The others were only red and swollen. 

I drop my hands as I began walking back to my cabin. 

The sun was starting to set; I had clearly missed dinner but it was fine since I didn't feel like eating anyway. 

As I walk I could feel my blood roll down my fingers before falling to the ground. 

My knuckles throbbed in the same rhythm as my heartbeat. 

As I walked I felt myself come back from the shadows of my own mind.

When I finally get back to the cabin everything is totally different from how things were when I left. 

Ryder was pacing the floor, Callum looked overly worried, and Liam looked as if he was thinking too hard for his own good, which was actually a strangely normal look for Liam to wear. 

When I closed the door all eyes were on me. 

Ryder stopped pacing, relief flooded through Callum, and Liam just stared at me before zeroing in on my hands. 

"You're bleeding," he states as if it weren't obvious. At the statement Ryder gasps and runs to the bathroom for something. 

"I noticed," I say as I sit on my bed just as Ryder comes back with a first aid kit. "And I don't need any of that." This causes Callum to frown. 

"It will take the pain away and make sure it won't scar," he pointed out but I only shrug as I lay down. 

"It wouldn't be the first scar and it damn sure won't be the last." 

"Please?" Ryder asks in a small voice. 

I look up at him from my spot and raise as eyebrow. 

He looked younger from the angle. His lip jutted out in a pout while his big brown eyes went wide with hope. 

I only roll my eyes as I give him my left hand and let him do what he wanted. 

"What did you do?" Liam asks though he doesn't seem all that worried unlike his lovers.

"Picked a fight with a tree," I muttered while closing my eyes. 

"Seems like you lost," he pointed out. I smirk, mostly to myself, before answering. 

"You should see the other guy," fake pride slipped into my voice and I can tell they all picked up on it. 

Ryder pours something on my hand to make it sting but I don't flinch or ask him to stop. 

"You missed dinner," Callum says. 

"I figured as much. I'm not hungry anyway."  

"You need to eat," Liam argued but I didn't care. "You're at least eating a bag of chips after this." I hum in response and that seems to tide him over for now. 

"You're lucky you don't have any splinters," Ryder says as he moves from one hand to the other. 

I don't answer. 

"Maybe next time you can think of something better to hit." 

"Well I thought about hitting a person but I figured none of you would like that too much," I joked but none of them laughed. 

When Ryder was finally done with my hands, he stood up from the bed with a frown. 

"Maybe you should take a shower." I frown up at him. 

"Are you trying to tell me I smell bad?" I ask bluntly which makes his eyes go wide. 

"No!" He says quickly, "I just meant that it might make you feel better!"

"I don't think warm showers are the answer to all of the world's problems," I point out which makes him glare although it doesn't have any affect on me. 

"Just do it."  

I couldn't help but roll my eyes with a chuckle as I stood up from the bed. 

"Fine, but only cause I want to."

After picking up new clothes I walk to the bathroom and chatter almost immediately picks up in the room I just left. 

I scoff at them though I know they can't hear it. If they wanted to talk about me they could have just told me; I'd be back in the woods like nothing ever happened. Now I'm stuck in a small bathroom with a shower that has a timer on it.

For a while I just stand there under the heat of the shower. 

My arms don't seem interested in the bath soap right behind me so I just stand there. I can feel every single drop of water that rolls down my skin. 

I felt the exact moment the timer went off, plunging me into cold water but I don't move. 

The coldness of the water brought me back to my father's house all times he told me the hot water heater was broken. I use to see how long I could stay under the coldness before I couldn't stand it any longer. I'd gotten pretty good at it too. 

I wanted to do it again but just as I started counting the seconds a knock came through the door. 

"If you don't hurry up I'm throwing your food  in the trash," Callum said even though I knew that was an empty threat. 

Without a word I shut off the shower, got dressed, and walked out the door.