It was good to be back home. 

And yes, we lived together in a dorm, even though we could very much afford to live on our own these days. It was so much easier this way, logistically speaking. And I loved the place. It felt like home. It was home. More than the barracks where I had spent almost two years of my life recently. Let’s just say I did not miss the stench of sweaty camo pants and wet socks. 

If only it wasn’t for the damn fanservice part of our profession, I would’ve loved every second of it, and everything that came with the lifestyle.

I mean, I didn’t even have to ask, and my glass seemed to fill itself.

As if on cue, Do-hyun held the bottle up and towards me again.

“More wine?” he asked.

To be honest, I never cared that much about wine, but it was an okay drink with food, so I nodded. Like the good hyung he was, he topped off the glass right away. Unfortunately, I didn’t get to take a sip in peace.

“Well, if we are still doing this DoMino thing, why don’t we start feeding the fans right away?” Chris asked from across the table, looking at me and Do with narrowed eyes and holding up a phone—the camera aimed straight at us. “They must be starving by now.”

I nearly choked on the wine. Miraculously, I managed not to, and slowly lowered the glass back on the table while trying to not get irritated. I didn’t succeed. “I’d rather not.”

“I think Chris is right,” Tae said, raising his glass at me. “The sooner we get some new content out there, the better.”

“I thought social media was my thing.”

“We can share,” Chris said, blinking his round, innocent-looking eyes, pleading. Too bad I knew him—that annoying little brat—and especially that expression, enough to not fall for it.

“I think I need more soju.”

And with that, I stood up, ignoring Do-hyun who was already handing me a shot glass. Instead, I walked over to the shelf by the glass-railing stairs and grabbed a bottle, before heading to the downstairs dance studio.

Once inside, I could finally breathe again. 

I walked my way over to the gigantic mirror that spanned all the way from floor to ceiling and wall to wall and let out a long sigh. Cracking open the bottle still nestled in my hand, I took a sip,welcoming the slight burning sensation of the strong alcohol with open arms. 

The dim outline of my reflection in the mirror was colored red due to the clock. It made me look ten times better, to be honest. And reminded me of how envious I was of the image people had of me—or rather my stage persona. 

That Minjae was awesome. Confident, sexy…and thanks to the damn fanservice, stage-Minjae got to enjoy what the real me couldn’t: being openly romantic with Do-hyun. Well, as much as we could, considering anything really gay was out of the question since…well…it was Korea, after all. The best or worst part though: the feeling was supposed to be mutual.

In reality, it was all acting. 

Fanservice. A word that had started to sound like a curse word in my head over the years. Yet, it was a huge part of my life. Yeah, we had that covered, as Tae had so generously put it yesterday at the meeting. In fact, we had been known for it throughout the whole Korean music industry. It was one of the factors that helped us become so huge in the first place. 

It wasn’t like I hated all of it, though. Sure, I could flirt with the fans. I was used to showing some skin. Mustering up racy choreograph was second nature. It was only this one thing people around us liked to do that bothered me when they figuratively smashed mine and Do’s heads together chanting “kiss” repeatedly.

In a way it was both creepy and bittersweet all at the same time. 

I gulped down some more liquor, then screwed the top back on and tossed the bottle towards the couch on my left. Miraculously enough, it landed right in the middle—good. I wasn’t in the mood for cleaning up the inevitable mess. 

At the same time, Do-hyun marched inside, looking kind of puzzled. I ignored him and a silence ensued. I didn’t really know what else to do other than to walk over to the couch, crack open the bottle again and take another sip. Once I realized Do-hyun was still staring at me, I held out the bottle.

“Want some?”

“Sure,” he said, already approaching me. 

I backed off at first, until I remembered I was supposed to give him the bottle. Grimacing internally, I held it out once more. Do sported a slightly confused face but grabbed the bottle anyway. I slumped on the couch. 

The other end of it dipped down not a few seconds after.

“So, what are you doing here alone, dancing in the dark while there’s a perfectly good party upstairs?”

I shrugged. 

“Don’t tell me you’re still upset about the whole fanservice thing?”

“Well, aren’t you?” 

When Do-hyun didn’t reply, I couldn’t help but glance at his face. There was a tiny crease between his eyebrows as he pondered for a minute, long enough for me to start freaking out. 

I found it hard to believe he wouldn’t mind fanservice. Based on the past, at least. He had this habit of shutting me out occasionally. Especially after concerts and stuff like that, when it had been more intense due to the acting being live. Funny how differently we reacted to the whole thing back in the day. I had fallen in love, and he had become more distant. 

I wondered if he’d still distance himself from me after Friday.

“Yeah, I guess…” Do-hyun said eventually, trailing off as if there was more he wanted to say but hesitated. “Though I think my reason is different from yours.”

My eyes dropped to my hands. He was right. Surely his reason couldn’t be that he had also had real feelings towards me in the past. As far as I knew, he was as straight as an arrow. And even if he was gay, I wouldn’t have the slightest chance. 

“I guess it is,” I said. 

“It’ll get easier once we get used to it again.”

“I surely hope so.”

Do-hyun nudged my shoulder with his. “Come on, let’s get back to the party. It’s not like we can do anything about it now.”