Chapter 13

-Emmanuel-

I hold Percy close to me, stroking through his long hair, wondering why he isn’t scenting me. I would’ve thought that now, when he’s emotionally distraught, would be the time he would need and want to.

But maybe he just doesn’t like doing that, which is fine.

There’s still so much I don’t know about Percy.

Including the reason an alpha is here in the first place, with a group of refugees. My theory is that someone challenged him for the position of alpha, and he lost his leg in the fight. Because wolves rarely lose limbs; give it enough time and we’ll heal through the damage.

That is, unless a limb is cut off. We can’t just grow a new arm or leg in Percy’s case, so I thought that somehow, his leg must have just been cut straight off; he said that it had been amputated.

That was until I saw his leg last night, when I visited him after his nightmare. 

The scarring on his leg was…massive. It looked like he’d been mauled, which made sense, if he had to fight another wolf. But then surely he would’ve just been able to heal through it? He wouldn’t have had to get a prosthetic then.

It wouldn’t have had to be amputated.

Which leaves me with one theory: Percy couldn’t heal. But alphas…we’re strong. We have great healing abilities; we don’t lose limbs.

So why couldn’t Percy heal? Unless his wolf…

“Emmi, I…I resented you for a long time, for leaving like that after we mated. But I also wanted to thank you. Because if I hadn’t met you that night, I would have died.”

Percy’s teary voice pulls me from my thoughts and I smooth my hand up and down his back, giving him a small squeeze. “What do you mean?”

Percy is silent for a moment before he whispers the words which I’d been terrified to hear. “Whilst I was with you, my pack was being attacked. When I went back to them in the morning, every single one of them was dead. And that sight…it killed my wolf. Emmi, I’m not- I’m not a werewolf. I’m just- I’m just a failed alpha.”

I pull back from the hug, cupping Percy’s face with both hands as I rest my forehead against his. “You are not a failure. You never failed your people and you never failed as a leader or a wolf. Perseus, I can already tell. You’re responsible and kind and brave and sweet and I’m sure your pack adored you. They would be so glad that you survived.”

He hugs me again, sobbing into my neck as his body shakes with the grief. I can’t believe that after all he had to go through, I could stand there yesterday and shout at him that he meant nothing to me.

I was being cruel.

And it wasn’t deliberate, but that doesn’t matter. I was cruel to Percy when what he needed the most was help. I was cruel.

It was this moment that solidified something in my mind. I worried that I would still accidentally lash out at Percy or shout at him, but not anymore.

I would never, ever hurt Percy again. I would only try to make him happy; I would be the best mate I could to him, because he deserves that at the very least, and because I want to. I want to make him happy, I want to be his home. I want to take the pain from his life and store it somewhere else.

But I can’t do that, so I can just make sure that I am never the source of his pain. I want to protect Percy and although I can’t ever atone for leaving him, for sleeping with other people and not sparing him a thought whilst he suffered through hell, for yelling at him, for pushing him away…I can’t atone for any of it, but I can make sure that I never repeat those cruelties.

“I will be better, Percy. I promise you, on my honour as an alpha, as a wolf, as a person. I promise you that I will always stay by your side. I will never leave you, and I will protect you from as much that I can. I promise that I will make you happy,” I say quietly but determinedly, stroking his hair.

Percy lets out a little laugh, but he doesn’t let go of me. “God, you’re so full of yourself. What makes you think you can make me happy? But I’ll hold you to that promise, Emmanuel.”

I nod quickly before regretting it as my dizziness from earlier makes a return. Instead, I just keep hugging Percy and offering him as much comfort as I can. 

—————

-Percy-

I stay with Emmi for the rest of the evening, resuming our conversation on what things we like and dislike, occasionally talking about our childhoods…we have to be careful though, because we can’t bring up Emmi’s mother without upsetting him or my pack without upsetting me.

But we manage to get to know each some more, and it’s…really nice. 

“By the way, is there anything I can do to prevent you from collapsing again?” I ask after a while of silence; we’re both tired and I’m planning on going to my room to sleep soon. Emmi glances over at me, frowning. “No, I can take care of myself and this wouldn’t even be a problem if I wasn’t such a shitshow of an alpha.”

I return his frown, reaching over and messing up his hair until he starts clicking his tongue at me in frustration and pushing my hand away. Still, his frown isn’t as deep set as before, and I can tell that his mood is a bit lighter now.

“Emmi. I know you can look after yourself and you’re also not a bad alpha, but you can always improve, and that’s always a good thing. So, what can I do to help you? Because I was an alpha for six years and although I wasn’t the best, I do at least know how to run a pack. So. If you want any help…”

Emmi rolls onto his side, looking into my eyes. We’re both lying down on his bed, parallel to each other. He reaches out, running his fingers across the mating mark he gave me. “Well, usually the alpha’s mate is the luna, so…would you want to be-“ I interrupt him by pressing a kiss to his lips.

“Yes, I would love to,” I say gently, coasting my fingertips across the mating mark I gave him. Emmanuel’s smile is gorgeous. It’s so warm and bright and it feels like I’ve always been waiting to see this sight. 

“Alright. That’s- cool. Also…you kissed me,” he says, like he’s still surprised I did that. Which honestly? Fair enough that he was surprised; I am a little too. “Mm. Yeah. Well you know, I had to get even after you randomly kissed me yesterday,” I say nonchalantly, like I didn’t kiss him just because I wanted to. Emmi smiles back at me, touching my cheek gently. “Don’t suppose you want to get uneven with another kiss?”

Rolling my eyes, I pull him closer and kiss him properly, now that we both know what’s happening. “Gosh, a demanding one, aren’t you?” I say teasingly, and luckily he takes it as a joke and just smiles into the kiss with a small laugh.