The clock struck 1AM on Sam’s mobile, lighting up the mess on the table that was cluttered with mostly empty drinking glasses, purses, and other mobiles. The mobile screen then quickly switched to another call notification coming from “Dad”. The blaring music from the club dampened the slamming door that closed behind a disgruntled man in his late forties, dressed in a business suit and lightweight designer trench coat with tied back arctic white hair, who briskly walked through the crowd in the middle, dodging bodies left and right before finding the ringing mobile as if it was calling to him from across the room. His pale blue eyes nearly matched the color of Sam’s as they found her at the table nearby, half slumped over her chair back, laughing away at another girl’s story, both wearing revealing party dresses. He quickly walked over to pick up the mobile along with her bag, proceeded to grab her by the arm without a word, and firmly began to drag her towards the exit.

“Dad! What the- dad let me go!”

“Like hell I will,” he grumbled back, barely audible over the music, still pulling her along and back between the moving crowd. “You can’t even walk straight, much less on your own!”

“You can’t do this! I, I-“ she sputtered as she managed to wiggle free, stumbling to the ground in an awkward fashion. Her dad picked her up with an embarrassed face to match, this time holding her up by the shoulders before guiding her back towards the exit.

“Sam, I swear, you are twenty-five and you think you can drink your way out of that failed bar exam?! I’m taking your drunk ass home before you make a fool out of me any more than you already have!”

▽　▽　▽

This is yet another one of those ‘where did I go wrong?’ moments, isn’t it? It was much easier for him to think now that they were outside in a more controlled environment. “Get in, go on, I got your shit already, see?” he continued grumbling as he showed Sam her bag and its contents, seeing that she was about to panic over her belongings. He helped her take her seat in the back of their car as the seatbelts engaged. He then took his seat and pulled away, taking a breath as to try and start over. “I saw the results, but rather than yell about your failed second attempt, I’d like to ask, what is it you’d rather be doing? I think this is a message you are trying to send me or your mother with this 35% score.”

Lovely, here we go yet again! Sam thought as her stomach tensed into a knot. “I thought…” she started, scrambling to gather a response. “Wait, dad, how did you even get the score? I didn’t send it to you or mom!” Are they spying on me? She didn’t notice his eyes roll as she thumbed through her mobile to see a message sent at 11:57pm to Alexander Knight, labeled “Dad”. “Ah, damn it. I did, didn’t I,” she let out in defeat. “Yeah, that… that was meant for Daja, not you.”

“Clearly,” he smugly replied. But by this point, Alexander felt the weight of the atmosphere push him away from his overused lecture to the all-too-common emotionally charged deflection. He took another breath, collecting himself. “Sam, what is going on? Or do I need to wait for your head to clear up in the morning?”

Odd… that’s all he’s going to say? Her eyes wandered off to the passing buildings seen through her window. “You know, normally you are a lot madder than this. Like last time. And the time before that.”

“Last time I thought would be the last. Sam, you keep going out to these, I don’t know, parties and getting piss drunk… for what I don’t fucking know, but shit, Sam, I don’t know what to do anymore. I ran out as soon as I could as I think I’d rather have things lined up before your mom starts interrogating. You are normally at home by eleven, midnight at latest.”

Sam laughed through her nose the instant she heard that line. “Isaiah never had curfews.”

“Yeah, well, that’s probably another reason why he’s gone,” he let out with a sigh. “We let him do too much on his own after we had those bouts with his undergrad studies and keeping him away from work, which unlike you, he never finished, remember? I thought letting go would be better for everyone. Both me and your mother can’t just keep letting you destroy yourself, either. I keep saying that over and over again, hoping one day you’ll understand.”

But that was just it! The line she had already used hundreds of times. Perhaps her parents were as she suspected: they were in denial this whole time about why Isaiah removed himself from the family. “So, you do know why he’s gone.”

He hesitated a moment before answering. He could sense that the threat of losing another child might be around the corner. What was the point of dodging the question anymore? “He has a life elsewhere, doing what he feels is right. That’s all I can say. And all we can do is hope he’s doing alright. We have to move on until he’s ready to come back… that is, if he ever forgives us.”

There was another long, quiet minute that passed before Sam broke the silence. “I like my job with Hexa. I want to be with Infinity… full time.”

“Now that,” he chuckled, “that sounds like alcohol influenced talk right there. Why? How did you even come up with that?”

“Because it’s the only thing consistent for me… and…”

“You don’t even go anywhere. You just log pilot training diagnostics for the new recruits. What fun is there in that? It’s not even good pay for the sixteen hours a week you do.”

“That’s why I want to go full time, dad! Damn! I swear you don’t ever let me finish. If I… when I go full time they… I mean I get to choose pilot ops, which is what I have always wanted to do. Shit, I mean, I went to a naval academy so-”

“We just said-” he cut himself short before he turned to see the look in her eyes staring out the window, still. “I know, you still have that hero expectation thing going on. That’s what I hate about us three. I wish we didn’t have any media perception to battle with since it’s tough enough already as is.”

“See?!” her eyes widened with frustration as she snapped her glance in his direction. “This is all I get from you and mom, too! You do all this stuff, expect the same stuff from yourselves, expect the same from Isaiah, but then I am supposed to just fade out and be a… a… good little lawyer girl for you, mom, and grandpa? Media nothing! You all did what I grew up wanting to do! I only joined Hexa as a tech part time as a way to sneak myself into a piloting job knowing damn well no one would approve! I was a fucking moron to think I could ask you and expect you to get it.”

“Sam-”

“And you and mom always say the same thing over and over! I get it! You and Isaiah both didn’t enjoy being a pilot, that you never asked to be a Harbinger or take on those responsibilities, and that all it brought you was grief. But I--- I also keep on saying this over and over! It’s not wartime anymore! This is like any other plain old job where all I do is fly security! Travel places! I haven’t even been to Earth outside of France and England! I will go back to finish school after I enjoy a life I chose! It’s not going to be more than five or six years anyway.”

“Well, perhaps it’s come to that proverbial breaking point,” he replied as he let his voice taper off. “Let’s see what your mom says.”

“Do we really want to go there? I mean… you don’t even talk to her.” Speaking of which, when was the last time they’ve talked in person? It’s been more than a year by now.

▽　▽　▽

An electronic stamp showed up on Sam’s request for fulltime status update form as she watched from her mobile screen. A look of excitement rushed over her face, evident even to the kiosk staff where she had been standing. “Welcome to your new position, Ms. Knight,” the recruitment officer spoke up with a smile as he handed her a code card. “You will get access to all the files you need to look over, sign, all that good stuff. Everything is due by five this evening. You will then get your reporting time before Monday 8am.”

Sam rushed outside where she found an empty bench near the cab rotary. Her makeup was more meticulous and done with more care than before; perhaps there was more motivation this time than the prior evening. She took her hair down and felt as if she shook away years of frustration into the air. She then quickly dialed up the girl from the night before at the club. “Hey, yeah, they already activated my request and I will get my travel schedule Monday! Can you believe that?!” she shouted enthusiastically. “Yeah, exactly! Right! I didn’t even tell my mom! Who cares- I signed that dotted line- I am done!”

Her excitement then suddenly took a drop upon hearing something from the other line. “Yes… that might be an issue.” She sat back, letting herself stretch over as her head pointed to the upward curving streets and cityscape right above her. “You know, I can only pack the essentials, anyway. I will just have to shop when I get there. Or read up on local culture and things like that… yeah yeah you know I will message you as soon as I find out! Sorry, yeah, can’t shop this one out. We will do something else tomorrow, ok? Sweet, will call you then.”

She tapped her earpiece, put her mobile in her bag, and started down the sidewalk, looking for an open cab. She found one, took a seat, and entered her destination into the portal. I feel like I won’t be missing this view for a good while, she thought as her eyes wandered back to the narrow horizon of alternating infrastructure and artificial sky panels that curved around up and out of view.

Upon arrival to her destination, she tagged her mobile for payment as she got out and stood up before a quaint yet tastefully decorated office building that looked no larger than a two-story house. She walked up the pathway past a sign that read “Raven and Associates Counseling”. She entered through the door, nodded to the secretary who pointed her toward the back hallway through which Sam passed, finding her way to a door that read “Saffire Aurion-Raven, PhD.” She waited a moment before a light came on by the entry panel. She let out a deep breath before entering, thinking to herself: the last remaining sanctuary for me to have someone properly listen to me.

“Well, hey, Sam, fancy seeing you again so soon!” the woman dressed in a full business suit smiled, standing up to hug her as she approached.

“Thanks for leaving me an opening, Saff,” Sam replied as she took a seat on the sofa behind her, clutching her bag. “Look, I can keep it quick. I mean, real fast since I know you are going to be busy.”

“Oh sure, no problem! What’s on your mind?” Saffire answered as she leaned against the table.

“Yeah, I kind of did a thing… a thing that I know for sure will piss my mom off and maybe even you.” She dug up her code card and showed the Hexa International logo on it with a faint wave. “I got myself signed up full time… and am headed for Earth in about a week.”

Saffire began to chuckle and replied with a shake of her head: “I didn’t think you’d make up your mind that quick!” She turned and took a seat next to Sam and continued: “Let me handle talking to them since I know that’s what’s got you worried, but did you at least tell your father?” She saw her nod, easing her concerns somewhat. “So, I take it he wasn’t upset. Of course he wouldn’t be, though. Knowing Al, he’d be upset on the surface, but I think he deep down wants you to do what makes you happy.”

“That’s one of two things that has me so bent out of shape, still,” Sam said as she put the code card back up. “He’s always so, what’s the word? Hands off. I sometimes wish he’d be a bit more involved. He tries to save us when we screw up but it’s when we are trying to do the right thing where, I don’t know, he just let’s things happen. And that’s where I feel like I’m taking advantage of the situation. Like, I really want to do this- I mean I’ve been wanting to since I was little.”

“And that’s what usually comes up between you and your mother, and I assume what you still think about how things went before your brother took off.” Saffire then leaned back with a hint of resignation. “I know we haven’t talked about you being a pilot in a year or two, knowing how sour a topic it can become. I still get it, though,” she said with a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “I could once again run on and on about the horrors we experienced. I get it. Everyone around you including me have all these battle scars and stories to tell, sad or not, and it still can be a confusing but real source of pressure. But you were right back then and even now you still are right. It’s not the same world it was. Everything is so much better now in comparison. You know, with how well you’ve established yourself in pilot training, I think a tour or two running security would be great to fill whatever void it is you have, then come back home. And, you know, let things continue the way you all want them to.”

“Yeah, it won’t be too much, or anything permanent. I was thinking just a few years.” Even though I just told dad it’d be five or six years…

“So, see? I will talk to your mother and father next chance I get, let’s say, Monday? I think Michel and I can stop by then.”

“Actually,” Sam answered as she turned to face her. “Tuesday would be best. I have to find out where they will send me, first, and I won’t know until Monday. You know her reaction will be different if it was a cool place like Bali, Vietnam, or even anywhere in the NAU (North American Union). Being new, I bet they do like most others and run them through the lighter pockets.” Sam then couldn’t help but flash back to daydreams she used to have; she had always pictured herself meeting popular vloggers she followed that worked in the NAU, namely in New York, all the while continuing her line of work in the vicinity.

“Good point. Look, as soon as you find out, send me a message so I will know beforehand, ok?”

“Great, will do!” Sam stood up with a look of relief. “Thanks so much for always being here to talk, Saff. Best auntie ever!” As they hugged once more, Sam made her way toward the door.

“I’ll tell the guys back home you stopped by and said hey!” Saffire said as she waved goodbye. After the door closed, she let out a troubled sigh as she returned to her seat, thinking to herself: “When will Amelie ever get things straight with her on her own terms? Or when will Al ever find a way to do the same? I can only butt in so much before it’s nothing but stress for me.”