no everyone is the main character of their own story-

but I'll always be a story that no one would want to read-

what are you talking about what about-

NO! Stop thinking! Stop thinking! Should I go to sleep? Sleep fixes everything, there is nothing but dreams and no annoying thoughts. But I can't sleep my mind will still keep wandering if I sleep. I'll just listent to some music, but all the music just makes it worse. So many other thoughts from other people I can't handdle it. Instermental just lets my thoughts wonder off. Nothing is working!

I can't cry. Crying makes you weak-

but being able to show emotion is brave in itself-

FOR GOD SAKE! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER YOU FUCKING CRYBABY! IF YOU FUCKING CAN'T HANDLE THIS WEAK SHIT THEN HOW WILL YOU EVER SURVIVE! EITHER GET IT TOGETHER OR YOU WILL BE BETTER OFF DEAD!

I'll use something to shock myself out of it. I can try cutting. Just grab the knife and hold it to the skin, good, good. But what if someone sees it? I'm too scared to do it. I'll use a lighter. I'll burn myself just enough to distract my mind. It won't leave any marks it's perfect. Grab the lighter and light it. Put it under your arm SHIT! 

...HAHA... it works, they stoped HAHA. I am smiling, weird considering I just burnt myself. Am I a masochist-

No your not that special-

OW!... they stoped again. funny how I have goose bumps all over when i'm using fire. Now I just need to hold onto this feeling just hold onto it and you don't need to think anymore.