The next morning came sooner than I’d been hoping for. Morning equaled school, school equaled Thunderbirds. Thunderbirds equaled… I didn’t wanna go there. I felt sick only thinking about meeting one of them in the hallway. At seventy-three degrees, wearing my black hoodie was definitely too warm, but I felt exposed wearing anything else. It was my shield, my iron armor, the coat hiding old and new scars. It protected me.

With my mind being absent, I could hardly follow anything that was being discussed in class; and since I had abandoned my backpack inside the locker room, I couldn’t even look up what we’d learned today since most of my study books were in it. I’d have to make up a plan to get it back. Someday.

Not today.

I was on guard, expecting the boogie man behind every corner, in each classroom, and I clung to my black armor made of polyester. That nothing happened was almost worse than if anything had happened. But when I left for work after school, none of the Thunderbirds had approached me. It was as if the whole team had been swallowed by a black hole.

So, I went to work with a false sense of security. Matt froze momentarily when seeing my bruised face, but the look in my eyes must’ve told him to let it go. And he did. It was already getting quieter in the store this afternoon when Matt asked me to fill up the free space in the bookshelves. He eyed me with a suspicious gaze because he knew something was wrong. But he didn’t ask, and I didn’t confess. 

I was almost done unpacking my third box full of books when a shadow fell over me.

“Hey.”

The novel fell from my hands before I got the chance to put it on its shelf. While my entire body was paralyzed, it fell to the ground with a muffled sound. Feeling like the actor in a bad movie, I watched how Clay kneeled down next to me and took the book in his hand. “Tolkien.” He turned the book around, carefully studying the dark cover of The Hobbit. “Never got the chance to read it.” He smirked when turning his eyes from the novel to put them on me instead. 

I had no idea what he was up to, whether he was here to silence me or whether it was sheer coincidence that he was here. The only thing I could do was stare at him with a terrified gaze.

When I didn’t correspond to his book talk, Clay turned and put the book on the shelf. 

I watched him do whatever he did, wondering what he would do next. Surely, he wasn’t here to casually chat about Bilbo Baggins. 

He didn’t do a thing. Clay just kept looking at me with his cool grey eyes and I stared back at him, his sun-kissed face, the straight brows, and his unruly auburn hair. I noticed that the ceiling lights reflected in the three silver rings in his left ear but left the matte pin in his lobe untouched.

In the end, he was the one breaking the silence. “Kenji…what my boys did to you on Friday…”

Abruptly, I jumped to my feet and turned away – my flight instinct got triggered. I didn’t wanna listen to him. Hell, I couldn’t listen to him. Not if my body kept telling me to run. 

“Wait!” Clay yelled and grabbed my arm. He was not the one who’d hurt me. In fact, he was the one who’d saved me. I knew that, but still, I yelped when he touched my skin. Helplessly, I tore my arm out of his grasp and held it to my chest. Cold sweat was breaking out on my forehead, my breathing quickened.

I wanted to scream.

“Sorry.” Clay held up his hands and slowly made a step back. “Sorry. Please, I won’t hurt you. I promise.”

That’s what he said, but I couldn’t believe it.

I was certain that he was here to silence me. To prevent me from spreading what had happened inside the locker room. He didn’t need to. Nobody would believe me anyway. 

Just…

Why couldn’t I tell him that? Why would my lips not move?

Clay was still holding his hands up in the air. He seemed to be waiting for any kind of reaction on my side. It was ridiculous that he appeared to be so harmless in his blue t-shirt and grey shorts when there might’ve been a predator below this image of the perfect son-in-law.

We had to be an odd picture, standing here in between the shelves facing each other, not knowing what to do. And soon, I noticed that some of the customers were watching us curiously while whispering to one another. Afraid that they’d complain to Matt about this, and that I’d lose the job I desperately needed, I told Clay to lower his hands.

“Um, here.” Slowly, Clay slipped the handles of his black backpack from his shoulders and put it on the ground before taking a step back.

I narrowed my eyes.

No. Not the handles of his backpack. It was mine!

I grabbed the handles and literally jumped back to where I had been standing before, pressing it to my body like a shield. “Th…thanks”

“I…” Clay looked around the shop and pushed his hands in the pockets of his shorts. He cleared his throat. “Do you wanna go over there? Seems a bit quieter…for a conversation, I mean.”

Over there was my lonely reading nook. Hardly any people. Dark. We’d be almost completely alone, and nobody would notice if I needed help.

My wide-eyed stare made him clench his teeth. “Fine, here then.”

I nodded.

Clay took one of the fantasy novels from the shelf and flipped through the pages. I could tell by his aimless gaze that he wasn’t reading. “There have been rumors recently, you know. Complaints that were made by players of our opposing teams. They complained about…the harassment…of gay players on their teams.” His eyes drifted towards me. I lowered my gaze. “It was always their word against Drake’s, or Hayden’s, or Jack’s. And I wouldn’t…I couldn’t believe that three of my boys would do something like that.” He put the book back onto the shelf. When his hands were holding onto the wooden frame, his knuckles shone white through his skin. “But when I heard your scream and saw exactly those three…” He clenched his jaws. “I was so blind!”

“You saved me,” I murmured, suddenly feeling the urge to comfort him. “Thanks.”

He cursed. “Don’t thank me, Kenji! Don’t you do that!” His shoulders tensed. “It’s my fault. If I’d done some investigation, I might’ve been able to stop them.”

He was blaming himself?

And here I’d thought that he was just here to shut me up…or worse.

“Still.” I made a careful step in his direction. “If it wasn’t for you, they would have…” My throat felt tight. I couldn’t say it.

“They’re no longer part of the team,” he said quietly. “It was too much. God knows what would’ve happened in the…”

I couldn’t hear his next words. A whistle rang through my ears, fogged my senses, and made my heart stop beating. He kicked them out of the team. All three of them.

Because of me.

I was done for.

“Kenji? Hey, are you okay?”

Through a blurry veil covering my eyes, I could see Clay reaching out for me but then he dropped his hand again. Good, because I couldn’t predict how I would’ve reacted.

“They’ll kill me,” I coughed holding my aching stomach.

“No.”

He didn’t understand. How could he ever? Popular kids never had to worry about stuff like this. “I can’t go back to school. I gotta…”

“Excuse me.” A young girl tugged at my polo shirt. She was staring at me with her big chocolate eyes. “Where can I find the coloring books?”

Coloring books.

The coloring books, where were they again?

I knew that. Had passed by them thousands of times.

I…

Clay kneeled down next to the girl and gave her a friendly smile. “They’re right over there on the right.” He pointed in said direction.

The girl grinned. “Great! Thanks!” Then she hopped her way while I was eyeing the auburn-haired boy with curiosity.

He knew…

I blinked. “How did you know that?”

“I’m here quite often.” When Clay lifted his eyes back to me, his gaze had changed. It became a gaze I didn’t expect coming from him. Long, intense. I blushed. “That’s how I know that you usually sit over there. I didn’t wanna lead you to a shady corner, or anything. I just thought you’d feel more comfortable there.”

He’d noticed me.

He knew I existed.

And I hadn’t even noticed that he’d ever been inside the store.

“Again, about the part where they…kill you.” His face looked grave. “I’ll never let that happen. As long as I’m with you, none of them will hurt you, understood?”

I frowned. “As…as long as you’re with me?”

I must’ve misheard.

Definitely.

Clay got up again. Standing this close, I had to lift my head to look into his face. “You’ll never be alone again, Kenji. At school, I mean. Either I or my boys will stay by your side.” I winced, and he added: “There are good boys in my team, trust me.” Easier said than done. “None of these three will dare to get close to you.”

“How’s this supposed to work?” I whispered.

“Well, you probably didn’t notice that there’s at least one Thunderbird in each of your classes, did you?” I shook my head, and he rubbed his nape.  “You don’t have to be friendly with them - I totally understand if you don’t want that. But they will keep an eye on you. And after class, you come to practice with us until I can drive you home.”

He had to be kidding me.

“Is this some kind of cruel joke?”

“I’m dead serious.” Clay turned serious when extending his hand. “Kenji Fox, from this day on, consider yourself protected.”

They were nice words, but could I believe them?

I stared at his hand – his friendly peace offering.

Did I believe him? Irrelevant.

I had to think about more than just myself.

I had to think about mom.

And Clay had just opened a second chance for my deal with Holland.

His hand was warm when I accepted his protection.

Two days.

Two deals.

And while his offer was sincere and born from guilt, my intentions were entirely different. There was one thing Clay couldn’t see at this moment.

The ten-thousand-dollar check flashing over his head.

Chapter 4 - End