It wasn’t David that ended the relationship. It was the lack of a spark between Steven and me that did it. Towards the end, we stopped kissing and sleeping together completely. We were more like friends that were forced to align their schedules all the time, which became more trouble than it was worth. Steven took mercy on me and ended the relationship in the nicest way possible with a gallon of ice cream that we shared and an entire night of making fun of our awkwardness. 

Best break-up I ever had. 

“Ow! See! This is why you two are perfect together. You two get off far too much on hurting me. I wasn’t even your worst boyfriend! I was much better than Rajesh who broke up with you for faking being vegetarian—” I opened my mouth to correct him, but Steven continued anyways, “—and way better than Miller.”

Gretchen tilted her head. “Was Andrés the one you fake dated or was that Miller?”

Before I could answer, Steven said, “That was Miller! Andrés broke up with him because Coach Ford said he had to stop having sex before big matches—” 

“Steven!” David’s voice bellowed low enough to make the ground rumble, this was paired with a seventh-grade level of skill (and maturity) snowball spell where you can use your water bottle to summon a thrum of snowballs. A line of pearly white balls cut between Steven and I, some of them smacking Steven in the arm. 

We all whirled around to find David glaring at Steven with a crumbled water bottle in his hand. “Do you plan to run your mouth all day or are you gonna practice? At all?” 

Steven grimaced. He leaned back towards me and with hands up in prayer, he whispered, “Do me a favor Cal and go with David to the Spring Fling. That way I’m not slaughtered before I can move out of my parent’s house. I’m young and wish for a full life.” 

“I can’t…” I insisted, which could’ve been followed with “because I promised David when we were fifteen that I would be his person and if we started dating, I’d break that promise because anyone who ever loved me always learns a reason to leave me and saying that forces me to realize I needed David more than he ever needed me.”

Instead, I told Steven as I slipped the rabbit back into his palm, “I’m going with Jeremy. He is my boyfriend after all.”

“Still?”

My hand flew to smack him again, but Steven dodged with a laugh. He ran over to the others on the team, throwing his arms around David’s shoulder despite his many protests. That was the only way to become David’s friend. By force. I watched David because I had spent almost half my life watching him. 

Gretchen ceremoniously sat next to me and she waited the polite amount of time before asking, “Do you want to tell me why you and David are fighting?”

“We’re not fighting. You have to talk to fight, so I’m refusing to speak to him.”

“Wow. Your maturity is admirable. May we all hope to achieve that level of tack.”

“Hilarious.”

“Seriously, that’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard today, and George called to tell me he couldn’t come to practice because his tarot cards said danger awaits. Load of bull. I saw his grade in tarot. He wouldn’t be able to read the cards, even if they told him the sky was blue.”

“Everything I do is stupid, you know me. Even my fights would fail the exam.” 

She flinched. “You’re not stupid, Calvin. You have to stop saying that.”

I didn’t respond.

I stopped trying to stick up for myself on that front a long time ago. 

“And you can’t lie to me. Your hair turned blue. Obviously, you’re upset about something.” 

“It’s nothing.” I looked up, not having realized my hair had changed. Now my outside matched my miserable insides. I got up and fished through my bag to find a hat, shoving it over my traitorous hair. “I’m gonna head home. I need to say goodbye to my parents before they leave for the Unicorn Sanctuary. They act like they don’t leave every other week, so they have to explain to me how to feed the cat and the dog and when to water the plants.” 

“Fine. Will I see you at my party tonight?”

“No. Jeremy and I decided to stay in tonight.”

“Did you both decide? Or was that Jeremy’s decision?” 

I sighed, my body worn out from this verbal beating. “What does it matter?”

“And I’m guess you haven’t told David that.” 

“You’re psychic, Gretchen, and wasted in alchemy.”

“Don’t be cute. And you still haven’t gotten back to me about trying out for the team next semester.”

My stomach twisted. “Um, I don’t know. Jeremy and I will be too busy helping his parents move for me to get to practices. Plus, I’m not even good enough to join.”

“But you haven’t even tried out.”

“I don’t have to Gretchen. I know the first thing I’m going to do is ruin it for everyone else.”

Gretchen huffed and I could feel the heat radiating from her edges. “I’m not going to ask you if you want my opinion because no one ever wants it.”

“Awesome. Can’t wait.”

“I don’t like it when you let these guys tell you what to do all the time. Sometimes, they control you to the point where I can’t even see Calvin Keys anymore.” 

“Well, maybe you just never knew me in the first place,” I said to be nasty. I could taste the venom in my words. I wanted to be mean. Mean like snapping her crayons in half or destroying her sandcastle. The guilt came fast, hit me harder than a slap. 

Before I could apologize, Gretchen nodded. “Maybe not.”

I slumped and held my backpack straps a little tighter. We stared at each other, the silence thickening the air around me and making it hard to breath. I let out a sigh and said, “I’ll try to swing by the party, if Jeremy’s cool with it.” 

“Okay, Calvin.” 

Feeling like I just lost something, I forced my legs to leave the gymnasium and went home without saying goodbye to David.