Between them, Dai and Noct knew some real weirdos, and Austin meant that in the most affectionate way possible. Some of the musicians that they introduced him to at that first festival were some of the most bizarre people he’d met to date. Most of them were from theme or costume bands, the sort of people who revelled in their gimmicks with the manic glee of people who had stopped giving a shit long ago about being ‘super serious’ metal musicians. They were fun, and odd and more than once Austin found himself tongue-tied, from a bizarre combination of being starstruck and just totally weirded out. 

But it was brilliant fun, and ended far too quickly.

The next concert was in a place called Brisbane. On paper it didn’t seem that far away, but it was finally starting to dawn on Austin just how big Australia was. They had been ushered onto their flight quite late in the evening, and Austin was already yawning when Jake had started exclaiming his dismay over the nearly 2 hour flight time. Noct, shuffling up the aisle behind them, had laughed at him.

“Just you wait until we go to Perth,” She’d quipped, and then stuck her tongue out at Jake over Austin’s shoulder as he made a face at her. Austin didn’t want to know how far away Perth was. He was just glad they didn’t have to drive. 

Jake scooched into his seat ahead of Austin, beside their drummer who was already nervously thrumming his thumbs against his thighs. Callum hated flying, and Austin was secretly glad that it was Jake who would bear the brunt of the little drummer’s sudden squeaks and unexpected hand-holding. Not that he minded too much, but Callum’s grip was strong and he’d nearly broken Austin’s fingers on the way over from America. 

Austin’s seat was the row just behind Jake’s, sandwiched between his own band and a couple of broody gentlemen he instantly recognised as Noct’s bandmates. Not for the first time, Austin was struck by how eerily similar the four of them were. Drummer, guitarist, bassist and keyboardist. At some point before their most recent album Vilification’s aesthetic had shifted again, and as always the band remained very thematic. Even out of costume, they had the same stark white hair (which had been black for the album before), matching silver piercings and oddly similar faces. The only thing that varied between the four was their builds, and their clothing. 

Noct was humming behind him, and Austin felt her gently prod him with her knee from behind. 

“Avery gets thingy about sitting next to strangers. You don’t mind that I swapped him so he can sit with Dain?”

Austin felt his ears start to heat as he dropped his chin and shook his head to mask his sudden embarrassment. 

“Good good good. You want the window? I suck at heights.” 

And so Austin ended up nestled between the window and the enormity of his own growing feelings and his complete inability to do anything about them. Noct proved a much better travel companion than Callum, though the way her fingers turned white when she gripped the armrests on takeoff made him suspect that she was nowhere near as comfortable as she wanted to appear. There was a single hellebore tucked behind her ear closest to Austin, and he watched her fiddle with it as the plane lurched up into the sky. 

Watching Noct’s eyes flick around nervously as she inspected first her seatbelt, then the lights on the roof and aisle floor, Austin couldn’t help but smile. Like this she seemed far more like the dorky online girl he was used to and it settled his flip-flopping stomach slightly. As the plane began to settle into steadiness, he nudged her elbow. When her eyes settled on him, he waved an earbud at her. 

“I meant to send you a message about this new band the other day, but I got too caught up packing. I think the music nerd in you will love it.”     

Noct took the earpiece gratefully, and sunk down so that their heads were almost touching. The earphones were corded - Austin was far too likely to lose wireless ones - so she nestled right up against him as the plane settled fully at last. A tiny part of Austin crowed internally in victory as he watched her slowly relax and unwind. Flying seemed to make her supremely uncomfortable, but distractions seemed to work and Austin was more than happy to provide them. The bass solo halfway through the song he’d chosen to play for Noct made her gasp in delight, her brow furrow and her fingers wiggle on the armrest as she followed the complex runs the bassist expertly picked through.   

Austin was too busy watching her groove her way through the track to think about what else was on his playlist. It shuffled automatically for him, and he was startled by the sudden chunky riff that replaced the void left by the previous song. He was so surprised he almost dropped his phone, causing Noct to choke on a giggle beside him. The song that had started playing was called “Doubt”. It was one of the most aggressively personal songs off an album that had gained international attention in their little scene for just how wretchedly self-destructive and beautiful it was. That album was Vilfication’s second studio release. Sitting next to their vocalist, it was a smidge embarrassing just how many Vilification songs were on this playlist. 

“It’s okay,” Noct squeezed his hand, and Austin’s heart lurched. “I don’t mind if you leave it on. We don’t play this live so I’m not sick to the teeth of it anymore.”

There was a reason they didn’t play it live though, and Austin dared to squeeze back before he flipped through to a song far less fraught with emotional baggage. The music was low enough that they could still talk over it without raising their voices at all, and Austin could see the flicker of relief in Noct’s eyes as something neutral replaced her own voice.

“I think I met you in the middle of making that album. It still amazes you stuck around to talk to me.” Her voice was low, and all the bubbles in it had fizzed out. Austin couldn’t help but run a thumb comfortingly over the back of her hand, and he was rewarded with her head bumping to rest against his arm. For the first time, she wouldn’t quite meet his eyes and he wasn’t surprised. It had, in a word, sucked. 

They had met through a mutual friend, a fellow muso who often ran as a healer when Austin did dungeons in the game they all played together. He’d known Austin was chasing a decent damage character to play with, and had suggested Jim. They had barely spoken for ages. She was shy, painfully so, something that Eggs had mentioned when he’d suggested they play together. She was a fabulous player, a seriously big hitter when she bothered to play properly. But most of the time she kept herself to herself. If not prodded, Jim happily spent hours virtually fishing on her own, churning out inconsequential achievements that most people didn’t bother with.  Noct had known Eggs in real life, and it was him that encouraged Austin to speak to her initially.

Noct had been lonely. Painfully, and destructively so. It had been obvious there was something she was grappling with, even through her ceaseless positivity towards others. Her downward spiral had been particularly obvious once they started to spend time speaking over Vox, and there were periods where she would disappear completely for days, sometimes weeks at a time. She drank far, far more regularly than she should have. 

Suddenly how ferociously pained Wicked Sprites was - the album that “Doubt” had featured on - made a lot of sense, and Austin couldn’t help the way his eyes prickled with the beginnings of tears. There were a lot of songs that Vilification didn’t play live that came from that album, and a couple that they always played. Wicked Sprites had earned Vilification a lot of new fans, a lot of people who found that it bled the pain out of their own experiences. 

Austin couldn’t help but cling to her hand, like it was a lifeline.

“I’m glad.” He started, voice hoarse and little more than a whisper, “Really glad that I did.”

He must have been silently processing for longer than he realised. When he looked down, the sadness had smoothed from her face, and her eyelashes with little dark half-moons against the paleness of her cheeks. Noct’s breathing was slow and easy as she slept, still nestled against his shoulder, fingers still wound in his. Austin smiled, and carefully leaned down to kiss the top of her head.