The rest of the tour seemed to pass in a blur. Fronting up to such massive crowds slowly became easier and easier. Perth was indeed, incredibly far away. The techno vikings that had accosted him that first night reintroduced themselves around the third show of the festival, meek and apologetic. They hadn’t realised he had known Noct. He wasn’t sure why that mattered, but they seemed genuinely mortified in their own behaviour and had spent a long, tipsy evening shouting him drinks left and right. 

The last show of the tour was in a place called Melbourne, almost as far south as you could go in such a big country, discounting the small inverted triangle island nestled underneath Australia’s bulk known as Tasmania. 

Austin had worn his bubblegum pink wig, to the unending delight of both Mochi, who turned out to be a Melbourne local, and Noct, who had instantly pilfered the hideously curly monstrosity to wear as they wandered the festival in the aftermath of Sycorax’s set. It looked far cuter on her than it did on him, Austin had to admit. 

He had expected her to discard the scratchy cheap wig pretty quickly, but Noct wore it proudly like a badge of honor, even as she climbed onstage next to her bandmates for her own set. It looked ridiculous, and clashed terribly with the eerie bone-white aesthetic Vilification was currently rocking as a whole. There was something a little unsettling about the way the black contacts she wore onstage peered out from beneath such an outrageous shade of pink. But she never took it off. 

Callum and Jake had accompanied Austin for this last performance, and they stood together in the crowd watching Vilification belt through “Lights In The Sky” in addition to a couple of the absolute bangers off their most recent record. Austin had been to every single one of Vilification’s slots, and he knew the setlist almost by heart now. So he could not help but make a small, confused noise when instead of the bouncy, boppy introduction of “Cities Below” - usually their set outro - Vilification’s guitarist Dain instead swept into an incredibly chunky little riff that Austin had never heard live before. There was something incredibly pained in the tone of his guitar. It was such a meaty, satisfying riff, but it sounded like it hurt. Noct’s bubblegum pink wig had disappeared before Austin even realised it was gone. She was so incredibly still, perfectly poised onstage. There was something incredibly introspective, almost pinched in her expression as she stared out across the audience. 

I don’t know what I’m doing, but I can’t stop doing it. 

Push me too far.

I’ll watch you melt away. 

Through my fingers, like sand. 

Austin’s breath hitched. He had no idea what this song was about. He could guess, anyone could. All he knew was that this song was pain. There were some beautiful, desperately hopeful songs off Wicked Sprites. “Doubt” was not one of those songs. 

Kick me dirtside, I’m still here.

I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing.

All you’ve left me with is doubt. 

This was a side of Noct that Austin did not know. She had always been incredibly private with her struggles. Even the few times she’d gotten messy drunk over Vox chat, she had never gone into details. A lot of people probably never realised she was having trouble, especially the people she played games online with. Onstage, Noct had sunk down onto her heels. Many vocalists would have avoided hunching like that like the plague, scared of compressing their own voice and struggling to get the words out. It did not seem to bother her, even as she sang with her head bowed. 

Please please, don’t push me too far.

I don’t wanna watch you melt away. 

Like fog. 

Austin’s heart ached for her, and then twisted painfully. Noct’s head tipped back, and suddenly she was looking at him, with a tiny sad smile. 

How am I supposed to come back from this? 

I’m so fucking doubtful.