. . .
Aaron never thought he would feel something else than the fear and the pain as long as he was in prison. It was a miracle that he could smile again, he still had to get used to the feeling of something warm rushing through his veins. He was in love. He was madly in love. Thinking about Rick kept the darkness away that had controlled his brain for months. One look, one brief touch, one smile — even a memory was enough to give him courage, reminding him that he had to endure only a few more weeks before he would be free. Once he was out, he would wait for Rick, and then they no longer had to meet in secret. He loved to fantasize about it; how they would walk hand in hand, how he would introduce Rick to his mother, how they would be able to cuddle without the fear of getting caught...
Two days had passed since their kiss, and he thought about it as often as he could. When he was alone, he sometimes softly touched his lips, knowing Rick had been the last one touching them. It felt like the boy was always with him, as if he was continuously whispering in his ear, telling him this hell was almost over and that a beautiful life was waiting for him.
Aaron wasn't aware of the dreamy smile that often adorned his lips, or the sparkle in his eyes every time he had been around Rick, or the fact that his shoulders no longer slumped down.
Moloch however was aware of it.
Like every night, Aaron was about to take off his clothes so Moloch could take what he wanted, so it would be over for today. Lately, he succeeded more and more in fleeing to a corner of his mind, to detach himself from what was happening to his body.
Somehow all this became more bearable — maybe because he now knew that his life wasn't condemned to darkness forever. By now, he knew he was still capable of other emotions than fear and pain.
"Tonight we're going to do something different," Moloch however told him. His voice sounded dead, and the thought that his routine would be interrupted, not knowing whether something worse was going to happen to him, made him flinch.
He said nothing, he just waited for instructions.
Moloch sat down at the edge of his bed and leaned back a little. His lustful eyes scanned Aaron's body. Although he was still clothed, he was sure Moloch saw what was underneath it.
"Come sit." He patted his legs. "Your face towards me."
Aaron stared at him in disbelief. Did he want him to sit on his lap?
He didn't want to — like always when Moloch was using his body, he wanted to turn his face away, convincing himself that it wasn't happening to him, that it was someone else's pain he was feeling.
He was inclined to shake his head, but by now he knew there was no point in it. Before the night was over, Moloch would break his resistance. It only turned him on when Aaron was trying to fight back, making all of it worse.
And so, he stood up in silence and straddled the man's lap. Cold fingers caressed his neck. His stomach cramped up, he wanted to push the man away.
"Kiss me," Moloch said.
Aaron froze. "W-what?"
Moloch had never wanted to kiss. Why would he now? Would he...
Suddenly, he felt ice cold.
Moloch knew. Moloch knew he had kissed Rick.
"Why?" he whispered.
"I heard you like to be kissed." He laid both of his rough hands against Aaron's cheeks. "How come you never told me, baby boy?"
Tears stung in his eyes. How could Moloch know about Rick and him? Had someone seen them? Were there cameras in the cells? His bottom lip started to tremble.
He didn't want to kiss the man, he rather had the man rape him. His kisses were Rick's; he had been glad that that little bit of intimacy hadn't been destroyed by Moloch.
A tear itched down his cheek. "I — I don't want to," he said in a shaky voice.
"Cry, baby boy. You know Daddy likes your tears." His grasp around Aaron's face strengthened and Moloch brought his face closer to that of Aaron. He whimpered when Moloch's tongue stroked his cheek, following the salty trail.
Aaron squeezed his eyes. If only he was somewhere else. If only he were with Rick right now... He longed for his arms around him, he craved for his consoling kisses.
"Kiss me," the man told him once again — this time sounding more impatient.
Aaron shook his head. He didn't want to give this away, it felt like the last thing that belonged to himself.
"I will offer you a way out," the man said in a sweet voice. Thumbs brushed his cheeks. "Tell me who it was and I'll let my baby boy sleep."
He pursed his lips.
"No? You want to keep your little secret a little longer?" Sadistic laughter followed his words. "That's okay, baby boy. But then you'll have to give Daddy what he wants."
His stomach contracted. He wanted to cry, he wanted to scream.
But more than anything, he wanted to protect Rick. And so he broke through his reluctance and kissed the man he hated with every bone in his body, allowing him to poison his kisses as well.