. . .
Blaise contemplated her words. He didn't know if he dared to talk about it, but at the same time he was done with not daring things. Maybe he should just bite the bullet. If he continued like this, he was going to ruin their friendship anyway.
"Okay," he said softly.
"Very well." She kissed his cheek. "I'm sure you'll feel relieved."
After a deep sigh, Blaise got up. His intestines seemed to slush through his body as he walked to the balcony, his feet feeling heavy as lead. Softly, he closed the door behind him. The night air was cold – maybe he should have gotten himself a shirt.
However, one glance at Raine and he felt hot again. The Warrior was leaning against the railing, staring into the distance, to the mountains surrounding Norwich.
"This is a nice spot," Raine noticed.
Blaise was grateful that he was trying to keep things light; he went to stand next to the other man and stared at the starry sky. "Yeah, the view is amazing."
Raine studied his face. "You feel a little better?" he asked quietly.
The concern in his voice caused a paralyzing feeling in his chest. Quietly, he shrugged his shoulders, staring into the darkness again. "My head's a mess," he confessed.
Raine didn't dig deeper, but instead gave him space to elaborate. He raised his hand, offering Blaise his cigarette. His cheeks flushed as he took the smoke from him, knowing it had been between Raine's lips a few seconds ago. He took a deep drag.
"You meant what you said?" Blaise asked, his face turned to the scenery again. "That you wouldn't have minded if I'd kissed you?"
"I don't think I'd push you away."
He peeked to his side, although he was too shy to look him straight in the eye. "Why not?" he whispered.
Raine shrugged his shoulders. "Why would I? I'm sure you're a skilled kisser."
With the nail of his thumb he scratched the railing. What the hell was he supposed to do with that? He still didn't know whether the guy was serious or not. At the same time, he realized he was hard to read too. "I never thought you wanted to turn me into a rat," he confessed. He took a deep breath, but pulled through: "I panicked because I... felt certain things which made me feel ashamed. That was just the first excuse crossing my mind."
Raine turned a little more towards him. "We're friends now, Blaise. You don't have to be ashamed of anything around me."
Blaise dropped his eyes. That was easier said than done.
Suddenly, Raine turned towards him and caught his gaze. His hand slipped out of his pocket and shoved it up across Blaise's side, settling between his ribs and hip bone. Blaise sucked in his breath as he felt the caress across his skin. He felt so stressed, his legs started to shake.
"Look. I would lie if I told you I don't feel attracted to you. But what exactly do you feel, Blaise? Are you just in the mood to kiss? Or are your feelings... more serious?"
Blaise bent his head and stared at the hand that was still on his skin. His touch was gentler than it had been in his imagination. "After the fundraiser, Mouse told me I that was in love with you. And I – I think she's right. Even when I – when I've never been into guys before." Although his cheeks were reddening again, he forced himself to look up. "And I'm scared you don't want to be friends anymore, because of these feelings."
"Why wouldn't I want to be friends anymore?"
Awkwardly, Blaise shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. Maybe you think it's disgusting."
"I'm not homophobic. I told you I kissed a guy myself."
"But you called it a blunder."
"Because it wasn't my intention. It wasn't about the fact that it was a guy. It might just as well have been some granny; that wouldn't have meant that I'm not into girls in general."
"So... you're also bisexual?" he asked quietly.
"I dunno. Maybe." He lifted the corner of his mouth. "Probably. Since a part of me is dying to kiss you."
Blaise had the feeling the butterflies in his stomach were lifting him up and he was floating in the air. "You – you do?" he stammered.
"Yeah," he answered softly. His thumb brushed slightly over his skin, spreading goose bumps across his body. "But I think it's better if we don't kiss. For now. I'm not sure where that longing is coming from. Maybe it's just curiosity, or maybe that longing to be friends with you is just absurdly strong. Or maybe I do have feelings for you. I don't know – I've never thought about kissing you before today. I don't want to give you hope if what you're wishing for might never happen. And I'm also afraid that it will ruin our friendship if it leads to nothing. I think it's better if we stay friends for now. Until we feel just as comfortable around each other as you feel around Skye, and then we can figure out what to do from there." He smiled a bit nervous. "What do you think?"
"Yeah, sounds like a plan," Blaise admitted. He wasn't disappointed; he thought it was a wise decision. Despite his feelings, he wasn't sure he wanted to be in a relationship with a man – and truth to be told; a romance with a Warrior was even more complicated than a friendship.
"Let's just see what happens, okay? Let's just be open about it."
Blaise nodded, an optimistic smile spreading on his face. Wherever this would lead to – as long as they went down that road together, he was fine with it.
A shiver of longing went through his body when Raine pulled his hand away. However, the heat ascended to his cheeks when Raine's fingers pressed against his chin, his thumb tracing Blaise's bottom lip.
"But you better be careful with that smile of yours."
His voice sounded deeper. Low in his stomach, something contracted.
"Then you better not touch me like this," he said, a little hoarse.
Their eyes locked. "I know," he said softly. He dipped his head so their foreheads were resting against each other.
His lips were so close... It was the only thing Blaise could think about. At the same moment, he realized he needed this tension to go away if he wanted this to work. Softly, he pressed his lips against Raine's, giving him a small kiss. The man's fingertips ghosted across his jawline, only slightly touching him.
Raine created a little more distance between their lips so he could kiss Blaise himself; first on the corner of his mouth, then in the middle of it. A longing for more rushed through his veins. Still, he broke the kiss; he didn't want to destroy a friendship by diving into this, only to find out later one of them wasn't really into it.
Nervously, he pursed his lips as he shyly looked at Raine. "Sorry," he said. "I just..."
"Had to take away the tension."
He nodded, relieved Raine had felt that too.
"I think it was good. We'll see how manically this kiss is going to haunt me," he smirked. He squeezed Blaise's shoulder. "I think I'm heading home. Don't think you can handle much more stress, right?"
"The worst is over now," he muttered. Nevertheless, he turned towards the door and led Raine to the living room.
Skye was sitting on the couch, her phone in her hands. Her way too wide grin told him she knew exactly what had happened on the balcony.
"I gotta go," Raine said to Skye.
She got up. "Yeah." She gave him a squeezing tight hug. "Thanks for today. It was fun."
"Thank you too." He kissed her cheek. "See you soon."
Blaise walked him to the door. Their embrace was way more intimate than their first hug had been, and it took Blaise a hell of an effort to let go of him.
"Skye told me you have my number," Raine said, putting on his kutte. "Just text me when you wanna hang out."
Blaise nodded eagerly.
Raine gave him a smile that made his knees feel weak, then Raine picked up his helmet and closed the door.
Blaise had the feeling his heart was dancing in his chest when he returned to the living room.
Mouse almost ran towards him, jumping in his arms. "Oh my god!! I saw you kiss!"
"Were you spyin' on us?"
"Of course I was! I ship you two so hard, I was way too curious."
"It was just a kiss on the lips," Blaise muttered. He slipped a hand into his pocket. "It's not what you think, we're not going to date. He told me he doesn't know what he feels for me – whether it's curiosity, or strong feelings of friendship or more... and he's afraid it will ruin our friendship if we... try something while ending up with one of us hurt. So... For now, we'll be just friends and we'll see if it will change in the future."
Mouse smiled, giving him another tight hug. "He's perfect for you baby. He already knows you so well, he knows what you need... I think it's great that you're not rushing into anything; that you take the time to figure out how to deal with each other and your clubs, before you're going to explore your feelings." She pulled back a little, looking at him. "Or do you mind waiting?"
He shook his head. "No. I'm not even sure if it's something I want. Coming out and shit like that... I just know it will make me an outcast in our world. The biker who's gay." He sighed softly. "But I'm glad I don't have to hide my feelings around him. It will save me a hell of a lot of stress." He raked his fingers through her purple hair, kissing her forehead. "Thanks Mouse. For encouraging me to be honest with him."
"Always baby." Her arms slid around him and her cheek rested against his chest. "I will always be there for you, Blaise."
He held her tight. "I'll always be there for you too, Mouse."
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