“Anything,” Tyler said, opening his arms. “I’m an open book.”

Katie took a deep breath. She had margarita courage, but she still wasn’t sure if she should open this door with Tyler.

“You never answered Grace’s question awhile back. Where have you been the last few years? Why did it take you so long to find...this place?” Katie watched Tyler carefully to see if what she had asked was painful.

But Tyler just shrugged and said, “There was an accident. And it took me a long time to recover. It set me back a few years. But I’m healed now, I feel the best I ever have, and I’m so lucky to have found my way here.”

“What kind of accident?” Katie asked, before she could stop herself. She had to know how much Tyler recalled.

“To be honest, I don’t remember,” Tyler said. “My parents told me I had been driving too fast and took a turn too hard and then…” He made a gesture with his hand indicating the car flying off the road.

“But you weren’t driving!” Katie exclaimed. Then, realizing her error, corrected herself slowly. You were driving?” Katie asked. “Being reckless like that...that doesn’t sound like you. You’re so responsible.” She couldn’t believe his parents had hidden the truth from him.

“I know, and the car was a real beauty, too, apparently. I don’t know what I could have been thinking,” Tyler said, as if he was searching again for the memory that wouldn’t come. “It’s so weird--I don’t remember anything before the crash.”

“Nothing…?” Katie asked, tentatively. “Like your whole childhood is gone?”

“Not exactly,” said Tyler, softly. “I have bits and pieces, fragments, before college. But the last thing I remember really clearly before the accident is my high school graduation--and then waking up in the hospital. The doctor said I lost a full four years of my life. And my studies were obviously gone too. So basically I had to start from scratch on my degree, which...set me back a little.”

Katie didn’t realize that she had been softly crying as she listened to Tyler explain. It was true--she was completely gone from his memory. Everything between them, the memories wiped away, like rain on a windshield.

“Hey, it’s ok--I’m ok,” Tyler said, handing her a used to-go napkin that he found among the food still scattered around them. 

“I’m sorry,” Katie said, wiping her eyes, smearing some guac on her face. “I’m always a mess when I eat Mexican, but this is bad even for me.” They both smiled. 

“I just--feel bad,” Katie continued. “That all sounds so terrible and de-stabilizing. I can’t believe that happened to you.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t great,” Tyler said, smiling, “but please don’t pity me. I worked hard to get back on my feet, and it all led me here, so everything worked out.”

“How do you do that?” Katie wondered out loud, marveling at his endless optimism.

“Which part?” Tyler asked.

“All of it. Stay so positive in the face of so much pain and loss and...setback,” Katie had always wondered where Tyler’s bright outlook came from, when she always imagined the worst case scenario at every opportunity.

“I don’t know,” Tyler said, honestly. “I guess I just see how many people have it worse than me. I survived. I got my degree, I’ve got this awesome internship,” he winked at her. “What are a few memories gone? I’ll make new ones.”

“I wish it was that easy for me to move on,” Katie said. “I hold on to the past.”

“What are you holding on to?” Tyler asked, gently.

She decided to tell him part of the truth. She had come this far. “I’m not that great at relationships, even if it might look like it. I hate conflict, so I push my own feelings down--and then leave people before they can leave me. My dad disappeared when I was a kid, and I think that’s something I carry with me, as much as I feel like I’m over it,” Katie explained. “ To protect myself, I worry that I hurt people.”

She paused and realized Tyler had wrapped a comforting arm around her.

“I’m sorry,” Katie said, “I think I’m just tired, and the margaritas, and everything--I get emotional after 11 PM. Like Cinderella after the ball, but with snot.” 

Tyler moved closer to her, handing her another scratchy napkin. “Listen, we’ve all got dad stuff. And hey--emotions are good. It means you’re human.”

Katie took the napkin, feeling grateful that Tyler wasn’t judging her. And also feeling guilty again that he couldn’t, since he didn’t know the real truth. They were sitting close again, on the love seat in Katie’s office. She dabbed at her eyes and nose, and tucked her hair behind her ears, out of her messy face.

“What’s that?” Tyler said, gently touching her left earlobe.

Katie knew exactly what he was looking at--a tiny scar from the accident. She had been otherwise unhurt that night, except somehow a small piece of glass had grazed her ear. She hadn’t even noticed until after she was home from the hospital and noticed blood on her pillow in the morning. 

“Oh, nothing,” Katie said, covering. “I--when I was a kid--I fell out of a tree. I’ve had it for a long time.” She quickly brushed her hair back over her ear.

Tyler tucked her hair back behind her ear again, giving her pleasant shivers. “I like it,” he said. “Scars are their own memories. They remind us who we are.”

Katie looked at him, proud of who he had become, and full of regret. “Thanks,” she said. 

“For what?” Tyler asked. 

“For being so honest,” Katie said. 

“What’s the point in covering up the past?” Tyler asked, genuinely. “The truth always comes out in the end. And I’m not ashamed or embarrassed about who I am.”

Katie took that in. “Tyler--I…” she started. She wanted to tell him the truth. But she also knew how much it would hurt--both of them.

“Yeah?” he asked.

“I--think we should get out of here. It’s late. And I don’t want to do anything I’ll regret,” Katie replied. Again, she added to herself. All of that was true. The other part would have to wait. 

“Totally,” He said, springing to his feet and breaking the closeness between them.

Would she ever be able to give him the full truth? She wondered, as they both started packing up for the night. Soon, she promised herself. And she meant to keep her promise.