It has been a week since Elaine ran away from home, and every family member had apologised to Elaine regarding that incident. Nothing hectic has happened ever since then.
During her short holiday, her brothers and Violet gave her a tour of the whole mansion. The three reminisced together as they introduced various places Elaine liked to frequent in the past, bringing a smile to her face when she saw fondness in their eyes. She enjoyed the stories they would tell her while walking down memory lane, though she did not recall them.
And suddenly, her mind wandered to the moment where the piece of memory with Violet returned without warning.
'Why is it the only memory returned to me was one with Violet? I haven't received one that included my family, the king or the prince.'
Then, she thought about the woman's soft voice that spoke to her after.
Her voice sounded strangely familiar, yet she could not identify where she heard it. Elaine could not detect any harmful intent from its presence, but she still had to question its existence. She had to talk with the owner of that voice again.
This thought brings her to another--the red-eyed man she saw in the Academy. Her hands were already tied with her amnesia, but now she had two beings in her life that she had to figure out.
But, her life still went on even with the troubles shrouding her mind.
The day before she was to attend the Academy, Gerard knocked on Elaine's room's door. She raised her eyebrow when she saw her brother peeking through the opened door and smiled when he finally entered.
"Are those portraits I see in your hands, Brother?" Elaine questioned.
"Yes," Gerard told Elaine to sit down next to him. "Of your friends."
"...I see." Elaine felt a bit relieved yet bewildered that she had friends, revealing a small smile. From what she's heard of her reputation, it seemed unlikely that she would have close companions. She just had low expectations.
Gerard laid three papers filled with her friends' profiles and details. "We will be meeting them tomorrow."
Elaine took a glance at the papers, and she was slightly amused and sceptical of herself.
"They are all men." Another reason why there was much gossip about her.
It would be no lie to say that her three friends were one of the kingdom's most eligible bachelors, though they were only fifteen. Even their stunning appearances were comparable to Prince Lucas', and Elaine established a close relationship with them. There is no telling what sort of rumours emerged because of her friendship with the three noble children.
Elaine scanned the first page, then the next, and the last.
Xavier Wills Carlson is the youngest of the three sons of Marquess Carlson. His fierce orange eyes and crimson hair made Elaine thought he was a charismatic individual, just as his portrait suggested. Gerard told Elaine that he specialises in fire magic and is talented in swordsmanship as well.
Sergio Frederic Edman, on the other hand, is the only son of Count Edman. Elaine found him reserved when she saw his portrait; he had spectacles over his calm green eyes paired with ash blonde hair. It might just be the artist's talent, but the clothes he wore had no wrinkles, and he did not slouch in the picture as well. His looks were picturesque.
Lastly, Victor Dan Yulian is the oldest of the Yulian Duchy, making him the next heir to their house. His platinum hair and bright blue eyes were stunning, but he had a cold aura around him as his face held no emotion in the painting.
"I was about to make a joke about how you were delivering me marriage candidates, Brother." Elaine chuckled by herself when she finished analysing the papers.
"They might as well be." Gerard smiled along. "I only trust these three to be by your side. Even Prince Lucas, I did not trust."
"Now, do not turn this into a serious conversation." Elaine set her friends' profiles aside and looked at Gerard. "I want to know if the rumour saying that I was a promiscuous woman came to be due to my friendship with them."
Gerard clenched his jaw and looked away from Elaine when she asked about this particular topic.
"The truth, Brother." Elaine touched Gerard's hand with a tiny smile.
"You said you did not want this to turn serious," Gerard mumbled.
"...Yes," The brother answered with a sigh. "Wherever you are, they follow loyally, as if bewitched, they say."
"I also see that they are quite wealthy," Elaine added. "And because of that, I was said to be full of greed, even though I am a duke's daughter?"
"...That rumour as well." Gerard was sweating. It was difficult for him to tell his sister the reasons behind several rumours about her. It was even more challenging because she was the one asking.
"Okay." Elaine smiled at Gerard. "Thank you for your honesty, Brother."
Gerard retreated to his quarters after Elaine's questioning but was worried that answering them might disturb Elaine's sleep. However, it was a needless worry.
Elaine had a restful night, and the day finally arrived for the only daughter of the Gustova duchy's departure to the Academy.
"Do not skip your lunch, okay?" Duchess Gustova hugged her baby girl. "You have to gain your strength back."
"Of course, Mother." Elaine smiled.
"Keep your word, alright?" The Duke embraced her as well. "Even if it is only an educational institution, you were hurt there once. Be careful."
"I will." Elaine nodded.
Elaine then noticed his eldest brother and approached him with a tiny grin. "Does Brother Noah have any parting words for me as well?"
"...Good luck with your studies, though I doubt you would learn much there." Noah patted Elaine's head. "Your brain's been filled with much knowledge already. Just get to know your friends when you reach the Academy, okay?"
Elaine stared at Noah's hand on her head, and her eyes travelled down to his body. She remembered his hesitance to embrace her. Then, she hugged him, catching him off guard. "Thank you, Brother."
Noah blinked with parted lips at first. Then he returned the gesture with a loving smile.
Elaine and Gerard rode on the carriage and finally set off to the Academy. She was nervous and at the same time excited since she had to meet her friends today. Gerard told her that her friends knew of her condition and were all right with it. Still, Elaine could not imagine how their reactions would be when they physically meet.
"Don't be too nervous when meeting them." Gerard held Elaine's hand. "Though they could not believe their ears at first and were causing a ruckus trying to enter our estate, they will accept you just like we did. You can trust them."
"Yes, Brother." Elaine nodded. It was pretty early when they left, so there was time to spare. Gerard had already informed her friends of the meeting place, and it was somewhat secluded. No one would accidentally stumble upon the area, and Elaine thought it was perfect.
When she saw that her friends arrived ahead of them, Elaine could feel her nervousness returning. However, she did not plan on running away.
Her male friends stared at her blankly, thinking that she looked well, aside from the fact that she looked thinner from before. It did not seem like Elaine forgot them until they saw the look in her eyes.
They all stiffened when Elaine stood before them and introduced herself respectfully with an elegant curtsy. "I assume you all know my name, but I would still like to present myself properly. I am Elaine Louise Gustova. It is my pleasure to meet you."
They all clenched their jaws at the manner of Elaine's speech. There was an agreement between them that Elaine, herself, established. It was to disregard their statuses when speaking with each other. In their hearts, they were just a group of friends who liked to hang around each other comfortably.
Gerard glared at the boys when they just stared at Elaine without response. "Return her greetings."
"I am Sergio Frederic Edman, Lady Elaine." Sergio bowed slightly.
"...Xavier Wills Carlson." He grumbled with a folded arm.
"And my name is Victor Dan Yulian." Victor lowered his head.
Elaine nodded at their greetings. "I am sure you have heard of my illness but do not know the full details of it?"
"Is it not just losing your memories of your past?" Sergio questioned.
"There is that, but I have regained my knowledge, you see." The lady explained. "And I believe I had a photographic memory? Therefore, once I read all of your profiles, I know of the details that they wrote on the paper."
"That is just the surface," Xavier said in irritation. "You don't know us from the inside."
Sergio nudged Xavier, warning him once. However, he ignored it.
"How could you have forgotten everyone close to you in your life from a mere bump on the head?!" Xavier's anger burst.
Elaine froze when she heard Xavier's grievance. Victor and Sergio simultaneously covered their friend's mouth, holding him back when he struggled to break free from their hold.
Sergio jabbed the man with his sharp elbows when it seemed like Gerard would kill Xavier for his unforgivable mistake. It caused a whimper to reveal itself from Xavier's covered lips.
"Forgive his impulsiveness." Sergio bowed his head in Xavier's stead. "He is still emotional about the incident."
Elaine gulped but nodded at his words.
"You idiot!" Sergio scolded with whispers. "We told you to cool off. It's been a week, and you're still like this?"
Victor could only give Xavier death glares, coldly stabbing him with his fierce eyes. Gerard did the same.
While the men busied themselves with reprimanding Xavier Wills Carlson, Elaine could only think about those triggering words echoing in her mind.
'Of course, they would think that. I bet everyone thought of the same thing but did not dare say it to me directly.'
...
'Well, I am glad that there is a person who told me what they honestly felt.'
Without noticing, Elaine's breathing got heavier and heavier. Her heart was clenching so hard, and she felt out of breath.
Elaine had a panic attack.
She brought her hand to her chest, trying to withstand the pain, but could not hold it in. It was when she fell to the ground did the men finally noticed Elaine was in distress.
"Elaine?" Gerard kneeled beside her immediately. "W-What's wrong? Can you speak?" Sergio, Xavier and Victor surrounded her as well.
'Breathe slowly, child.'
Elaine's eyes widened when the woman's voice returned to her head.
"I...can't..." Elaine stammered.
'Do you not wish for your memories to return? I can help you.'
"No..." Elaine grunted. Her strength left her body suddenly, and she was left unconscious on Gerard's trembling arms.
----
Elaine's bright blue eyes blasted open, and she sat up straight, gasping for air violently.
'Relax.'
Elaine looked around in confusion, searching for the voice's owner in the empty white space she has woken in.
"Where am I?"
'This is your subconscious, child.' The voice reverberated throughout the domain.
Elaine tried to grasp what happened to turn up in her subconscious and remembered what happened in the 'real' realm. "I fainted."
'Yes.' The woman confirmed. 'The seizure brought you here.'
"..." Elaine was still in disarray. "Who exactly are you? You are not me, are you? We have different wants."
'No, I am not you.' The voice chuckled at Elaine's silliness.
Suddenly, golden specks of dust descended from above, forming into a human girl not older than herself. Her overflowing hair—a waterfall of golden glitter—would disappear as it reaches the floor, and she was wearing a simple golden knee-length dress. It was unusual as she was made entirely of those particles and had no physical attributes. Elaine's mouth fell open at the magical sight.
'This was my true form.' The girl revealed. 'I am much older, despite my appearance, though.'
Elaine remembered the remarkable sight. "You're from the tree..."
'Yes.' She nodded. 'I became that tree when my sister tried to keep me from merging with nature.'
"..." Elaine hesitated to ask a question regarding her explanation, but she decided to speak to satisfy her curiosity. "Is this is your mana?"
The woman's words were very confusing at first, but mana could live in any form when she thought about it. From there, Elaine deduced that the golden particles were the woman's mana as she could feel a very pure life from her.
'It is similar but different.' The girl smiled. 'Now, back to you.' Her lips curved downwards. Elaine gulped at her sudden change in attitude.
'Is there something wrong with me without my knowledge?' Elaine thought.
'Your mana is...conflicted.' She tried to describe it with difficulty to Elaine. 'Magic has everything to do with your emotions and your physical body.'
Elaine nodded nervously. She knew of this fact.
'When you meet your loved ones, your emotions fluctuated dangerously. At those particular moments, you unconsciously put pressure on yourself, even though you do not know them now.'
'You feel guilty because you forgot them. During those moments, you have a powerful urge to remember your memories.' The woman explained. 'I wanted to alert you sooner, but I did not have enough power to reveal myself. Until a memory unlocked itself to you.'
"Violet." Elaine realised, gasping softly.
'It was then that I could speak to you, even for a moment.' She nodded. 'And here I am, because of your friend's words that sparked something inside of you.'
'But, let us dismiss that for a second. What is more alarming is that something is keeping you from recalling your memories.' The woman's face was grim.
"But, that piece of memory returned to me without any consequence...?"
'No, not without consequence.' She shook her head, disagreeing. 'I suppose that memory was not deemed important, so you were only left with a slight dizziness.'
Elaine's eyebrow twitched. "It was a significant one to me."
It did not make sense. If Elaine was the culprit to her problem, then the memory returned to her should be one of the last ones revealed, with an immense pain greater than just light-headedness.
'Yes,' She understood where Elaine was coming from. 'However, the moment you made contact with that prince in the garden, that took a heavy toll on your body. Now, that was a huge consequence.'
Elaine widened her eyes slightly at the realisation. So, if she wasn't the cause of her own 'misery', then someone else must have done this to her.
'It seems that my time with you has run out.' Her body started to disappear. 'Before I forget...'
'Whenever you are to go through another 'episode' like this, I can bring you to your subconscious to stabilise your mana with my powers. Our discussion will continue then.'
"May I know your name?" Elaine asked before the woman completely disappeared.
The woman smiled. 'I am called Tiara.'
Elaine's eyes finally opened three hours after she fell unconscious.
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