Level 000

I shoved my way through the crowd, ignoring the flurry of chat messages streaming up the left side of my vision. NPCs mechanically shuffled out of the way as I approached, disgruntled emojis fluttering over their heads as I passed. I shoved real players aside, and felt a haptic rumble through my hands as I collided with their bodies. Yellow warning messages slid into place warning me that This is a non-PVP zone.

I ignored the messages.

My eyes stayed fixed on the stone tower looming overhead, and the wooden balcony overlooking the Summer Tournament’s final event. An ocean of noise washed over me from the crowd, a mixture of recycled dialogue from NPCs, real player’s voices cheering and shouting for their favourite, and of course, the bright and excited commentary from Beryl herself.

I broke free of the crowd and hurtled around a corner, one eye on my stamina bar. It was depleting quickly. Too quickly. I summoned my menu, one hand flicking through the circular buttons until I landed on a Summerburst Potion. The crystal bottle manifested with a shower of bright polygons, and my stamina bar refilled completely.

I pounded up the inner staircase of the tower. My twin ponytails whipped around me, and the frills of my skirt flapped about my thighs as took the steps two and three at a time.

Faster! I urged my avatar. Come on, you can go faster than this!!

A massive roar erupted from the crowd, followed shortly after by the concussive boom of fireworks. Through one of the slotted windows, I saw brightly coloured explosions and a shower of digital confetti raining over the arena.

The battle is over already! Dammit, Natalie, I needed you to buy me more time!

“Ladies and gentlemen, we have our winners of the Summer Tournament!” 

A brilliant voice rang out across the square, magnified by the game’s engine.

Beryl. Her voice filled my chest with a sharp, painful ache. The type that gnaws away at your emotions until there’s nothing left of you but a raw bundle of nerves.

“The Femme Faeries survived everything we here at CraftQuest could throw at them, and they have emerged victorious!”

The noise from the crowd was deafening and distracting, so I summoned my menu system again. A series of holographic panels emerged in the middle of my vision, and I navigated them with practised ease. I quickly muted the general voice chat — I only needed one person’s voice channel open, after all. 

Then I was running again, ever faster, ever more urgent.

Blood pounded in my ears — my real ears, thousands of miles away from this server, from this digital body. Somewhere in the real world, I was laying on my bed, drenched in sweat, my teeth gritted despite the artificially induced paralysis.

I have to reach her! I can’t let her do this, I can’t let her go!!

And then finally—

Half a dozen guards stood around her — real players, not NPCs. Probably employed by CraftQuest’s management just to keep her safe, just in case the anti-PVP system failed accidentally. The guards snapped to attention when they saw me, but I ignored them.

There was only one person I had eyes for.

Beryl turned away from the balcony.

Turned away from her life as the star idol of CraftQuest.

“Remy…?”

Her voice was soft, surprised. Her blue-green hair drifted behind her slender body, carried on an artificial breeze that permanently surrounded her avatar. She narrowed her eyes, her lips forming a thin line — an expression that would sit better upon her real body than this artificial projection. But all the same, I loved this version of her; I loved all of her, more than I had ever thought possible.

The ache in my chest squeezed harder. All I wanted to do was rush over there and embrace her, to have her settle into my arms and tell me she was never going away.

But I couldn’t be selfish. 

I had put my feelings aside. I had made that decision, to help her as a friend above all else, to repay her the debt I owed — for the past three months of the summer, and for the past three years that she had filled my heart and home, even if she hadn't known it.

I had to stop her from doing something she’d regret for the rest of her life.

“What are you doing here, Remy?”

“You know why I’m here. I can’t let you do this.”

“I thought you understood,” Beryl shook her head. “This — all of this — it’s not what I want anymore. I can’t keep living a lie—”

“It’s not a lie! Do you think my feelings for you are a lie?! I came to love you because of Beryl, because of you! Don’t you see? There’s no difference between this version of you, or the one in the real world!”

I hoped the passion in my voice could break through her stubbornness. I wanted her to believe in me, believe that I knew better for her … but that was my selfishness talking again. I wanted her to need me, but the reality was, she — as Beryl, and as herself — was the centre of my world, not the other way around.

A shadow passed over Beryl’s expression.

She stepped forward. Long hair trailed behind her like smoke curling through the air. Strands of brilliant green and blue shimmered in the sunlight streaming through the balcony. She still took my breath away, even after all this time — maybe even more so now that I knew the real girl behind Beryl.

“Please,” I begged, my voice cracking. “Please stay. Please let me help you! I know how you feel, and I promise I won’t abandon you like — like everyone else!”

Beryl gave me a small, sad smile.

“Remy… I’ve made my decision. You know that.”

There was a resignation to her voice that broke something inside me. Her expression fell, and I knew that she was lost to me — that everything we’d been working towards had all been … for nothing.

“Please! Please wait!” I cried, throwing myself forward — only to have my movement stopped by a wall of red light.

OUT OF BOUNDS — OUT OF BOUNDS — OUT OF BOUNDS

The white text flashed against the blindingly bright wall of crimson. 

“Nooooo!!” I screamed, slamming my fists against the barrier. The system rebuffed my avatar, and my HP took a hit of damage. “Dammit! Let me through! I’m not done talking!!”

Beryl turned away with a swish of her hair.

The guards formed up around her and give me a disdainful look. They must’ve thought I was just some crazy fan coming to waste Beryl’s time. They didn’t know the truth — that I was her friend. Her teammate. That I was the girl so hopelessly in love with her that I’d thrown myself headfirst into a world I knew nothing about. I had tested myself against skills I never knew I could possess, faced humiliation and defeat and heartbreak and more.

All for a chance to stand beside her.

For a chance to be with the girl I loved.

OUT OF BOUNDS — SERVER KICK IN 3…

“No, please!!” I screamed, but my voice channel had been muted. 

Even so, Beryl turned around to look at me one last time.

SERVER KICK IN 2…

“I’m sorry, Remy, I really am.”

SERVER KICK in 1…

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be the Beryl you wanted me to be.”

I wanted to shout back at her, tell her that she’d always been exactly who I’d wanted her to be — and more. That she’d been the most important person in my life for years.

But the words didn’t come out.

KICKED FROM SERVER.

The world turned to black.

It was only when I awoke that I realised I’d been crying the whole time.