8:39 PM, Sunday, January 22nd, 2023

France, Oregon

Patty sat in her rocking chair at the apartment she shared with Tess and their daughters.

Tess was in the girls’ room, tucking them into their bunk bed.

“Mom,” said Annie, the younger daughter. “What is Mommy reading?”

“Well,” Tess answered. “Her grandfather, your great-grandfather, kept a diary, and he wanted her to read it.”

“What’s in the diary?” asked Kam, the middle daughter.

“Well, I’m sure mommy will tell us when she’s ready.”

Casey, the oldest, came out of the bathroom, holding her toothbrush.

“Mom said something about Great-Grandpa Murr ‘hiding something,’” she said.

“Like in ‘hide and seek?’” Annie wondered.

“Casey, please, go brush your teeth,” Tess said.

“That’s not a denial,” Casey smirked, going back into the bathroom.

Tess sighed. This revelation had really shaken things up in the family. If the girls were asking this many questions, who knew how the other Newmans would react?

Patty was still reading the diary when she and Tess were ready for bed themselves. Tess saw this as she came out of the bathroom, rubbing moisturizer on her hands.

“Patty, for god’s sake. You’ve had your nose stuffed into that book since the moment we got home. You have plenty of time to read it.”

Patty looked up at Tess. “My grandpa was living through me.”

“What?”

“It all makes sense now. This is why he was so supportive when I came out. This is why he always asked me about my dates, my social life— Murray Newman was gay by proxy.”

“That’s not- What?!”

“He was right. People in his generation don’t talk about things like sex and sexuality. What if he stayed in the closet because of pressure? Was he using me as his only connection to the LGBTQ+ community?”

“What about Fred?” Tess asked pointedly. “Didn’t they reconnect a few years ago? Why wouldn’t he be another connection to the community?”

Patty shoved her face in her hands and groaned.

“I forgot. Oh, God. I’m sorry, Tess, but this is quite the shock. Please understand: I want answers. My grandpa had a secret life.”

Tess took her wife’s hand in hers.

“Patty,” she said. “Calm down. I know this is a big surprise, but if you want answers, you need to pace yourself. In fact, if you promise not to read anymore tonight, I will call down to the retirement village to see if Fred is available for lunch sometime this week. Now, deep breath.”

Patty took a deep breath. “Fine. Fred might know more, anyway.”

“Good,” said Tess, taking the book and placing it on the console table. “Now, let’s get some sleep.”

Tess turned out the lights and crawled into bed with Patty.

But now, neither of them could get to sleep. They were both curious as to what happened next in the story of Fred and Murray.

3:18 PM, Friday, August 15th, 1952

Berberry Falls, France, Oregon

Here they were: Fred and Murray’s last summer before the former started his senior year.

He and Murray just spent the day lounging with their feet in the water of Berberry Pond as the falls sprayed them with mist. Their shirts hung over them on the branch of the Douglas Fir sapling, and their shoes lay underneath the daffodils. They just laid down on the bank, thinking about their lives as they sunbathed.

Murray turned to Fred.

“So what’s the verdict, Fred?” asked Murray. “Where is the Fredmeister going to college?”

Fred took a minute to think about this. “I’m not sure. Part of me wants to follow my brother to Stanford, or my uncle to Oregon. There’s another part of me that wants to go to that new school in Portland. Even still, I wonder if I should try a few years at the community college here in France. What about you, Murr? Where are you thinking?”

“I’m not sure,” Murray replied. “I’m not even sure what I want to do after college.”

“You’re telling me. It seems like every adult in my life is telling me to ‘do this’ or ‘do that.’”

Murray sat up straight. “Well, what are your thoughts? What do you want to do with your life?”

“Honestly,” said Fred. “What I want to do most is travel the world. Maybe as a travel writer, or a journalist.”

“That sounds nice,” Murray remarked. “Were you thinking, like, a war reporter in Korea? Or maybe a documentary maker going on Safari in Africa, or the Outback?”

“The documentary thing piques my interest more, but I was thinking about heading to my family’s homeland.”

“Greece? That could be interesting. You could go with the history, which is incredibly fascinating, or maybe the mythology.”

“Exactly,” Fred agreed. “I wish I had the money right now. I could fly to Athens right now and get a head start.”

“Walk in the footsteps of Aristotle, Socrates, and Plato. That would be incredible.”

Fred blushed. Ever since he realized his feelings for Murray, everything had changed. Just listening to Murray talk about all the things that interested him brought a smile to Fred’s face. Fred only wished that he could act on his feelings. In fact, he doubted Murray even felt the same way. All Fred could do for now was spend time with Murray and think about what could happen if he could be with him.

Fred’s eye gazed over the body of the man of his affections. Murray had filled out a little more since joining the baseball team, but he would still be considered skinny. His face was still youthful but now more manly. A strong, square shape, but you could still call him “cute.”

Murray’s jet-black hair was always slick and short, and he only let it get messy whenever he and Fred swam in the pond.

Murray noticed Fred staring at him.

“Are you okay?” Murray asked.

Fred snapped out of his trance.

“Uh— yeah. I’m fine,” Fred lied. “Hey, race you to the cave.”

Before Murray could protest, Fred got a head start, swimming quickly towards the cave behind the waterfall.

“Hey!” shouted Murray, throwing his glasses to his shoes.

Behind Berberry Falls, there was a small cave. Murray had discovered it a year before he met Fred, and they agreed that it would be their secret spot. It was perfect: a shallow pool of water, a flat, sandy bed to lie on, and a solid sheet of water flowing gracefully over the opening. Even now that they were almost adults, the boys still called it their favorite place.

Even though Fred gave himself a head start, Murray beat him onto the cave shore. Even though Fred was a better athlete overall, no one could deny that Murray was a faster swimmer.

“You’re not letting me win, are you, Fred?” Murray teased.

Fred blushed yet again. “Of course not. What kind of athlete would I be if I let the nerd win? No, you beat me fair and square, Murr.”

“Nerd? Who are you calling a nerd?”

“You, ya’ big nerd.”

Murray playfully pushed Fred. “Knock it off.”

“Nerd! Nerd!” teased Fred as he pushed back- a little too hard.

Murray slipped backward and was about to fall onto the rocks. However, Fred caught him just in time.

The mood changed quickly. It got quiet. Fred stood with Murray in his arms. They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, yet also only a few seconds. They didn’t move for that entire time.

Murray then slowly stood up.

“Th-thank you,” he said. “I should probably get going. My dad’s taking the family out to dinner in Cannon Beach.”

“Oh. Okay. See you tomorrow.”

Fred swam out of the cave with Murray and proceeded to watch his friend walk away.

All Fred could think about for the rest of that day was the scene in the cave, how he held the man he loved in his arms under that waterfall, and how much he wanted to kiss him.