A life with meaning is what everyone wants for themselves, is like a craving, is what people expect to reach at some point, but what happens when you realize that your life has no meaning? Are the small things that take the meaning out of life, those broken dreams, those broken promises, those broken hearts. A meaningless life is like no life at all, is being empty, so how could you feel alive, or even be alive, when one of the most important people in your life takes that meaning away from you?

After Julia waved me good-bye and entered to a huge grey house with a very colorful garden, I went walking slowly to my house that it was just as Julia's, except for the garden, the one we had in our house was kind of dead, it reminded of my family, is very fuiraleh when a young person looks at its own family in such a macabre way. While I entered, I shouted a deep “zavan’tiezhe[1]” as if anyone would answer me, I was the only tuzhnechj in the house. I went to the kitchen and on the table, I found my lunch, and one of the doors of the mrachjtazh[2] a note, I didn’t have to read it to know what it was about, my parents were going to the Ufgagnezh[3] kri Akajari[4] in Verdya[5] to give a speech about finances and to pick up my older brother Finnegan, or Finn to me; that meant they were going to be even more late than usual. My parents had prepared a special dinner for him, only for the four of us, I didn't know the reason for such a private and ridiculous extravaganza, nevertheless I needed to dress formal according to my mother’s rules, so I went upstairs to my bedroom and changed my clothes to the ones my mother chose for me the night before, it was a pair of grey trousers, a white shirt, a green sweater and a yellow tie, I hated it, my mother had no taste in fashion. 

I organized that awful tie and looked myself on the mirror, I couldn’t stand the sight of me, it was just as if I was becoming my brother, or even worse, my father. So, after ten minutes of trying not to look like an ambrochjtiku[6], I gave up, it was pointless, so went to find something better to do while my parents and brother arrived, and so I could forget about the tie chocking my neck. I remembered I had Julia’s notebook in my backpack, so I thought it would be a good idea to burn my time by studying. Back in the kitchen again, I took an arizahani[7] out from the mrachjtazh, I sat on the kitchen table and started to read the history notes, they were actually very interesting and made me wish I had paid more attention in class.

It was more or less three hours until my family arrived, time enough for me to read Julia’s notes twice, write down some questions and search for the answers, and to finally decide to change my stupid outfit. My mother was the first one to enter the house always so loud, she was going to hug me when she realized I was wearing something completely different from what she picked last night, she looked at me up and down like if I was disgusting and gave me a pat on the shoulder, then she went straight to the kitchen. Soon after that, my father and brother entered, both of them greeted me with a gentle nod, it terrified me how much they were alike, then the three of us headed to the living room and sat each one in a different sofa with not even whispering a sound, until my mother came out of the kitchen all joyful, as if there was a reason to be ultari about that joke of a dinner, and told us to get ready, so we washed our hands and then sat on the dining table, I tried to talk with Finn or with my father but with their heads stuck in their echjtalu’x[8] it was like if the rest of the creation disappeared.

- Dinner is ready to enjoy! - my mother said, and she came back with a big silver platter and on it four plates with something in them that didn’t smelled nice, yet it didn’t surprised me, whenever she was trying to impress our father, she would teach herself a new recipe, it usually ended in disaster. We all started to eat without saying a word, I tried really hard not to make any funny faces, I could tell my brother was struggling with the same, in spite of that, everything was going great, for Hadsan family standards, until my father coughed quietly and wiggled his nose, I knew that meant he was going to ambush someone.

- So, Luke tell us, how was the Personality Test today? - he asked looking directly at me.

- Actually father, the Personality Test begins this Oramfte[9], today was just the first day of preparation - I said scared of my father's reaction.

- I see, anyway, to which city are you planning to go? I suppose you're going to the green city of course, just like Finnegan - he said in a condescending tone, in that moment I realized that the special dinner wasn't for Finn, it was for convincing me to continue with the family tradition, in other words, to make sure I would continue with the family tradition.

- Is no like I can decide just yet, but I like to think of the purple city as a possibility? - I answered very nervous, and my father began to laugh, in that moment Finn cleaned his mouth, stood up from his chair, and gave my mother a kiss in the forehead havarizh’teir her for the dinner.

 - Bar’ssajani [10] Luke - he whispered to me and went upstairs to his old bedroom, I felt a shiver running down my spine, I turned slowly my head back towards my father, who was standing right before me and slapped me, or maybe even punched, the blow was so hard and so sudden I couldn’t tell, I could see the disappointment in his eyes.

- What is wrong with you!?- I shouted I almost crying with one hand on my left chick, that was already bleeding.

- What's the wrong with me?! Mordial[11], seriously?! Be a real man for once in your life Luke! - he shouted with his face totally red of anger, I stood up from my chair as fast as I could and ran directly to my bedroom with tears in my eyes. I looked myself in my room and escaped to the roof through the window, and sat down on the highest part of it, as I used to do when I wanted to leave the house, but I actually couldn’t, and then began to cry for real. A few moments later I heard my mother entered the room, I was sure I looked the door but then I remembered my mother had no respect for privacy, so I believe somehow, she forced the door.

- Luke are you here? - she asked, but I didn't want to talk with her, I was too upset with her, she just sat there in silence while my father hit me and screamed. She finally left, I stopped crying, and began to overthink, it was like a spiral of negative thoughts, the spiral eventually took me to “Julia’s bariko azhnerechj” and made myself feel even worse. I knew that if I continue down that spiral, I will end up jumping from the roof, so I went back to my bedroom, I could hear my parents shouting to each other in the living room while I reached the door to make sure there was no way my mother could open it again, I took off my clothes and, in the bathroom, I tried to dress up my wound, it hurt like a tajori[12]. After a while, I went to bed and tried to sleep but the pain was too much, the worst part was that it wasn’t just physical pain but emotional too, my father managed to make feel so small that it hurt in an indescribable way, so I just stayed in my bed looking to the ceiling and hoping tomorrow would be better.