Somethings are just that, accidents, product of right and wrong decisions, but sometimes they're more than that, they can be the destiny we refuse to accept when it takes away someone we love. We want to believe that it is just an unpleasant dream, that soon it would be over, and that we'll wake up to see another day, yet that is just a desperate desire of our delicate nature. And I truly believe that this kind of accidents deserve to be written, because maybe this way we can finally understand why it happened, or at least what happened.
I still remember the first time I saw her, or when I actually realized she existed. I was 15 years old; I was young, uptight, immature, and clueless about the chaos that was waiting for me. The day started as any other, between the warm of the sea and the cold of an empty house, and with a poor breakfast in the kitchen. I came out of my house and grabbed my shoes, only to remember that my bike was getting fixed after I crashed it into a nokantori[1], so I had to walk all the way down to the estoryka[2] kri[3] praaduli[4], which I hated, it made me feel even more lonely than I already was, and I didn’t know why it made me feel that way.
Once I found an empty sit, I began to wonder, and eventually to overthink, why I was being forced to take the Personality Test[5], I understood the importance of it in our society and all that krachmejat[6], but still I refused to make a sense of it, and it was making me mad. When I came down from the praaduli in the central estoryka, I was able to see some of the other boys and girls that were also going to do the Personality Test that month with me, and when I didn't recognize anyone, my angriness became worriedness.
It was the first time I arrived early to something school related, I had never seen the school so deserted. I knew everyone would be heading towards the cafeteria and I wasn't in the mood for trying to be social, so I just went directly to the gyrchjtalem[7] where the first meeting was taking place, after I took off my shoes and left them in the ichjliazh[8]. I don't if it was an accident or just something that needed to happen, but there she was, the only tuzhnechj[9] in the room. I thought she was from another school because I had never seen her before, except that then I noticed the patch in her sweater with the symbol of my school, and I still don't understand why that simple detail made me more curious about that girl.
She was just sitting there, reading or maybe writing something, how could I tell from that distance, I wanted really badly to sit down on the place next to her, but in that exact moment Gairah[10] and all the Rakuro’x[11] conspired against me and made the other 22 students, plus the three teachers that hate me the most enter to the gyrchjtalem, so I end up sitting in the other side of the room right next to this guy who was always smelling wefnatezh[12] and that nobody, and I mean nobody, knew his name.
Zernufi[13] Zaahira Parkinasa, our mean philosophy teacher, began to talk about the changes it would have the preparation for that test on our schedules, how the schools were going to manage later the classes we were going to miss that nachtrajari[14], and briefly explained how the test was going to work, but I couldn't pay attention to Zernufi Parkinasa, I was very busy trying to guess her name, as lame as it sounds, because at the beginning I was hoping they would read the names list but of course they didn't, so I started to imagine how it would be when I finally met her and more cheesy stuff like that, and in time of nothing the bell for the morning recess rang, I must have fell asleep thinking of stupid stuff cause I couldn't remember a single word Zernufi Parkinasa said, and also cause I was the last tuzhnechj left in that huge gyrchjtalem. The idea of her had to have me under some kind of spell, because in a single jump I crossed the room to where she was sitting down, and obviously she wasn't there, except for one book, it was a very old book, it seemed to be part of the collection of books saved from the Nrezikar[15] Barzhet[16], I didn't recognized which because it was written in a lost language, yet it made me became even more fascinated about this mystery of a girl. I picked the book up from the floor and started running directly to the cafeteria to look for her, it was like if I was posed by this weird feeling that I had never felt before and that I couldn't control.
As I was running blindly through the halls, I suddenly felt myself in the ground after crashing with someone. I was about to shout all the mrunaf’x[17] I knew, even though it was my fault, when I realized that I was in front of the most of beautiful brown eyes with this unique sparkle, these magnificent bright pink lips and this wonderful wavy brown hair almost blonde.
- Demiah’jaru[18], are you okay? - she said, I tried to say something, but I couldn't, I was kind of hypnotized.
- Great you found my book! - she said with the most perfect smile I have ever seen.
- So, this is your book? Yeah, I was looking for its owner, and by the way what's your name? - I said very nervous and like in a rush, I never had any prochjna[19] talking to other girls before, I was used to be so calm and smooth but this time I was just a disaster.
- Oh, of course you wouldn't know my name, I'm Julia Kovar and nevertheless havarizh’te[20] for finding my book Luke - she said finally after getting up from the ground. I found it hard to believe that she knew my name if we have never met before, and because around her I found it difficult to think at all and because there was no one there to stop me, I just kept shooting stupid questions.
- Wait, how do you know my name? - I asked her with the most ridiculous tone I could have done.
- You're Luke Hadsan, right? Everyone in this school knows who you're- she said laughing in a sarcastic way. I always had few azhnerechj’x[21] and I couldn’t describe myself as a “social” person, so I couldn't believe what Julia was telling me.
- I thought I was invisible - I said.
- Luke, all the school have an insane crush on you, not just because of the kind of people you hang around with, but also because you have like this bad boy reputation - she said smiling, and just after that, Julia started laughing like crazy maybe cause of the stupid face I was doing in that moment, I mean, I was shocked.
- Does that mean you have a crush on me? - I asked her, then she laughed even harder than before.
- Demiah’jaru Luke not a big fan of yours, you can be as cute as you want but I not into that whole bad boy act you're trying to pull off - she said almost without breathing, in that moment I didn't understand what she wanted to say, or if she was trying to make fun of me, but still she was charming.
- So, Julia do you have any azhnerechj’x here? - I asked her, trying my best to sound as calm as possible.
- Well... I do but they aren't doing the Personality Test this month, so you could say I don't have any azhnerechj’x right now - she said in a very nervous way.
- And what about you Luke? - she asked in an attempt to change the subject.
- I do have azhnerechj’x, but I'm the older one in my group therefore I'm the only one doing the Personality Test, so I'm alone as well - I said turning my head down, it seemed like if I was crying or something like that, and after a few moments of horrible silence, I looked up again just to see the sweetest smile in this creation, with it I noticed Julia had some cute little freckles on top of her nose and part of her checks.
- If you want, we could be together for the next nachtrajari, so we don't have to be alone, we would be helping each other - she said.
- Like azhnerechj’x, obviously - she added. I blushed, I looked like a complete idiot and besides I couldn't answer, I was like frozen, so made the situation worse.
- But if you don't want to it's okay - she said while her smile started to disappear, she waited a little more and then she began to walk away.
- No, wait! I do want to be with you - I finally said when I came back to reality, she turned back and looked at me confused while raising one eyebrow, she used to do it a lot, so I called it "the suspicious look". Suddenly I realized I kind of said that I wanted her in a different way, and it was weird.
- Only as azhnerechj’x of course - I added, even though I didn't mean it, I didn't know why but I did want to be more.
Short after that, we went to the cafeteria to have something to eat. I was used not to be in control, so when Julia asked me where I wanted to sit down, I simply didn't know what to say, that made her laugh and then she told me to follow her. We finally sat at a table that was in a really hidden corner near a small window, I didn't wanted to ask why we were sitting in that place if there were so many other tables, for a second, I thought she might be embarrassed to be seen with me, still I sat down and waited for Julia to say something.
- I have always loved this table - she said after a few moments.
- But why? Is just like any other table, the only difference is that is almost impossible to find - I asked after looking around.
- In all the time I had been here, the only window with this view is this one, it is kind of like wurntika[22], and besides here the sun arrives in chilly mornings - she said looking through the window. I tried to see it, I really wanted to, but I couldn't, and for the first time in my life I didn't want to be a mlykuri[23] and ruin that wurntika that was so special to her, so I just stayed there in silence admiring her.
I stayed staring at Julia for a while until she turned back her beautiful bronze eyes at me once more. We started to eat, again in silence, it was a little bit awkward actually, we stayed like that for a while, but in my mind still remained the comment Julia made that morning.
- Julia why did you said that all the girls have an insane crush on me? I mean, it's a little exaggerated and also, I don't think I'm even "cute" as you say - I asked her, and she looked down at me.
- Luke, ovikariak[24], you're like two meters tall, I guess, your eyes are green with a little bit of grey on them, you've got dark wavy hair, and you've got this kind of fernako[25], you're like ideal perfect, how do you not expect that everyone falls for you? - she said with a little laugh, and I blushed again, I felt like an idiot, that wasn't me! I was used to be tough with no doubts of my next move, but when I met her I simply just through all of that out the window, it was like she had this power over me, a power I was afraid to understand, she made me want to be someone else, someone better, but with the pass of the years I began to understand that not all the power in this creation, not even Julia, could ever change the nature inside me.
[1] Agryssian word for a tall plant that has a wood trunk and branches that grow from its upper part.
[2] Agryssian word for a building or buildings and the surrounding area where a particular service or activity takes place, in this case public transportation.
[3] Agryssian word used to show possession, belonging, or origin.
[4] Agryssian word for an electric vehicle that transports people, usually in cities, and goes along metal tracks in the road.
[5] A two-day test done every month in each city, for twenty-four Agryssian teenagers. Fifteen-year-old boys and girls preform a set of aptitude challenges in order to determine the cities they could live according to their personality. They must sign the Great Book of the city the choose and get the citizenship tattoo on the wrist.
[6] Agryssian word used to describe an idea, something said or written, or behavior that is silly or stupid.
[7] Agryssian word for a large public building where meetings are held.
[8] A small cottage or room in the main entrances of public places where people leave their shoes.
[9] Agryssian word for the spiritual part of a person that continues to exist in some form after their body has died, and that experiences deep feelings and emotions.
[10] The “human form” of the universe’s power, is not all-powerful nor the kindest. They are the supreme god/dess, the decisions they make have a greater significance and it affects everyone.
[11] Plural of “rakuro”, Agryssian word for a spirit or being believed to control some part of the universe or an aspect of life and often worshiped for doing so. In Agryssian culture, are the twelve celestial bodies that help Gairah taking care of the lives on Earth and of the behavior of human beings (giving them personality gifts). They are responsible for specific and the most important aspects of life.
[12] A very strong and bad smell that makes you gag.
[13] Agryssian word used as a form of address for a woman that is married.
[14] Agryssian word for a period of nine days.
[15] Agryssian word for armed fighting between two or more countries or groups.
[16] The great religious fight that almost ended with the human race.
[17] Plural of “mrunaf”, Agryssian word for a rude or offensive word.
[18] Agryssian word used for apologizing for something
[19] Agryssian word for a situation, person, or thing that needs attention and needs to be dealt with or solved.
[20] Agryssian word used to express to someone that you are pleased about or grateful for something that they have done.
[21] Plural of “azhnerechj”, Agryssian word for a person who you know well and who you like a lot, but who is usually not a member of your family.
[22] Agryssian word for a special and exciting quality that makes something seem different from ordinary things.
[23] Agryssian word used to describe an unkind person.
[24] Agryssian word used to make a request more polite.
[25] Agryssian word used to describe someone with a very nice body or/and that is very good looking.
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